It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
His chief interest had always been with his pencil.
-- Obituary in Harvard Class of 1893 book (p 155)
From his emergency flood headquarters at City Hall, Mayor Friedman has just ordered all families living near or adjacent to the Mill River to ejaculate immediately.
--WLKW-TV (RI) news director, on air delivering an emergency news bulletin
Many different kinds of animals have interrupted football games, but perhaps none so unusual as this one: It's a big, hippity-hop rabbit, jacking off down the field.
There's two lovers in the stands. He kisses her on the strikes and she kisses him on the balls.
-- Minnesota Twins sportscaster, during a lull in the game when the camera was taking shots of people in the stands
...and now he catches the puck and rams it between the girlie's legs and scores....of course, I meant goalie.
--Boston sportscaster during a hockey game
Mom Blows Lucy's Date
-- headline on the "Dear Abby" column in the Parkersburg (WV) Sentinel