It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

86% of South Africans want Chuck Norris for President

page: 1
0

log in

join
share:

posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 09:26 PM
link   
I found this when I was looking at the news, I guess the South Africans are losing their marbles. Chuck Norris for President

I thought these were funny.

* "Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there."

* "They wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for Chuck's beard."

* "Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink."

* "Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that 'Law & Order' are the names of his left and right legs."

* "Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light because the dark is afraid of him."

* "Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas."

* "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

* "When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down."

* "When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."






[edit on 11-12-2006 by thehumbleone]




posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 09:40 PM
link   
Come on.

Eighty-six percent of respondents to a South African mens' magazine does not constitute a consensus of voters-at-large.

Norris is an admirable individual for his accomplishments, but the article cites no evidence that such a poll actually represents any political reality anywhere in the world, not even South Africa.



posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 09:43 PM
link   
Well, i think South Africans are very wise people. I dont know what Chuck's politics are, but i do like his manners and looks.



posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 09:53 PM
link   
I wish I could grow a beard as thick as Chuck Norris.



posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 10:03 PM
link   

Originally posted by thehumbleone
I wish I could grow a beard as thick as Chuck Norris.


I do, too, actually.

I'm sure every country yearns for a president with a thick, handsome beard.



posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 10:34 PM
link   

Originally posted by GradyPhilpott

Originally posted by thehumbleone
I wish I could grow a beard as thick as Chuck Norris.


I do, too, actually.

I'm sure every country yearns for a president with a thick, handsome beard.

For the love of...



posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 10:38 PM
link   
With a face like this, he has to be the Antichrist.




posted on Dec, 11 2006 @ 11:00 PM
link   
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter! Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves. Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.



posted on Dec, 12 2006 @ 01:45 AM
link   

Originally posted by thehumbleone
I wish I could grow a beard as thick as Chuck Norris.


In Communist Russia, think beard grows you.



posted on Dec, 14 2006 @ 11:46 PM
link   
Haha, I love those Chuck Norris jokes. But in all serious, if anyone could be my hero, besides Jesus, it would be Chuck Norris. He is an amazing person and a great contributer to society. And I also love all his films.

Check out "Breaker, Breaker" from 1976.



posted on Dec, 15 2006 @ 01:01 AM
link   

Originally posted by thexsword
Haha, I love those Chuck Norris jokes. But in all serious, if anyone could be my hero, besides Jesus, it would be Chuck Norris. He is an amazing person and a great contributer to society. And I also love all his films.

Check out "Breaker, Breaker" from 1976.


Chuck Norris and Jesus as your role models..

Interesting...



posted on Dec, 16 2006 @ 05:04 PM
link   
86% of South Africans wanting Chuck Norris to be their leader is no more shameful than 50% of Americans wanting George W. Bush to be their leader.



posted on Dec, 16 2006 @ 05:34 PM
link   
Chuck couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. Bruce Lee actually fractured Chucks neck when he was trying to be smart. (verifiable) Chucks "exercise" equipment that he hawks on TV is a piece of junk.

The South Africans can have him. We will even toss in G.W. Bush for free. ... And if they act now they can get a slightly used Rumsfeld for a Christmas stocking stuffer.



posted on Dec, 17 2006 @ 04:36 PM
link   
Chuck Norris once brought a dead chicken back to life by rubbing its dead body on his beard.

He then killed it by wringing its neck

Proving once and for all that what Chuck giveth, Chuck taketh away!



posted on Dec, 17 2006 @ 04:49 PM
link   
lmao thoses chuck norris jokes are so retarded they are funny



posted on Dec, 17 2006 @ 06:25 PM
link   

Chuck Norris and Jesus as your role models..

Interesting...


Yeah, that's correct.



posted on Dec, 17 2006 @ 08:51 PM
link   

Originally posted by Impreza
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter! Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves. Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.


It' probably an old one but I have never heard the Victoria's secret joke.



posted on Dec, 18 2006 @ 08:52 AM
link   
Just a little info on the magazine in question here:

"ZOO Weekly/Weekliks brand features a variety of topical, newsy and entertaining content, packaged neatly together in a compact formula of girls, sport, cars, gigs, jokes and gizmos. ZOO is aimed at affluent, urban men with an average age of 22 and is edited by former FHM Managing Editor Margot Bertelsmann."

So you see, little boys all love gung-ho kung-fu fighters so we really shouldn't be surprised.

and:
"Launched mid-October ZOO Weekly/Weekliks has sold 30 544 copies of its launch issue, 37 563 copies in week two, followed by 35 197 and 31 618 copies in weeks three and four respectively."

Now, 86% of the above figures gives you a good idea of how small the section of the population really is that want an American B-grade movie actor for president!

The above quotes taken from www.bizcommunity.com...

Just because we're Africans doesn't mean we're stupid. So please don't send Chuck Norris or gforbid G W Bush our way please!



posted on Dec, 19 2006 @ 03:37 AM
link   
Chuck Norris was examined by scientists and after careful study of the structure of his eyelashes came up with the Bowflex powerrods.



new topics

top topics



 
0

log in

join