posted on Dec, 8 2006 @ 08:42 AM
Keep going if you can, I wonder where this'll go.
1. No mention of ATS, it ruins a story.
2. No mention of us as writers, this is fiction,
I want this to be a good story that actually goes somewhere.
3. One main character, many main characters ruin a story, it's hard
on the reader to follow what's going on. You can add secondary characters though,
as long as there's around 2-5 of them and they are routinely mentioned. You have to be coherent in a story, you can't just start ignoring a
character for no reason.
4. Follow the style and story, don't add random stuff for no reason,
and if you do, explain in detail as to the relevance of why this event
happens in the story. What I don't want is everyone to add random
stuff, ending up in a story that has gone from having one theme, to being
incomprehensible with many themes.
It was a dark night, there were no lights anywhere. Izat figured that it was
due to another power outage. The government had a tendency of cutting power
as a way to make the population afraid. Following a principle of, the evil
freedomfighter/terrorists are gonna get you, follow us and you'll be safe, the government commited many events designed to frighten the public into
total obedience. So it wasn't unusual, Izat got used to it. Besides, it's not like he cared. He was old school, burning candles, a small inferno in
the fireplace, a pack of beer on the table, yeah, he was comfortable. He was a 25 year old man with a good built. He wasn't fat, nor was he skinny,
he was well fed, let's put it at that. He was sitting in a couch next to the fire place with a beer in his left hand and a pencil in his right. He
usually wrote on a computer, but since the power was out, he would have to do it the old fashioned way, on a paper under candle light. He lived alone
in a condo. The building itself had two households, one on the right and one on the left. Izat lived on the left. As he finished his beer, a knock
could be heard on his front door. He gently deposited his bottle back into the 24 and started to walk calmly towards the door. As he got there, he got
a weird feeling, as if something important happenned. He brushed it off his thoughts, it was insignificant, such useless stress wouldn't do anything
but annoy him. As he approached the door, he looked into the tiny hole. It was a recognisable face, Izat turned the mechanisms on his door and openned
it. It was Detritus, his good friend. (For those who laugh at my secondary character being named excrement, it is intentional).
"They turned off the lights, and I got bored, so I decided to come over." Izat closed the door as his friend came in. Detritus took his shoes
"You do know that you ran a risk? Are you forgetting that we're passed curefew? If the night patrol spotted you, you'd be risking a negative on
your profile, a few of those and you know what happens." Izat looked straight in his friends eyes in a caring stare, Detritus on the other hand was
"Don't be commenting on obvious things like my parents, I know damn well the risks, I even took into account the many cameras positioned everywhere,
I made sure to wear good camouflaged clothing." He indeed was, if a pair of sunglasses, a scarf rapped around his mouth and a hood over his head is
Izat walked back to his couch, looking back as he pointed to a bounch of slipers.
"Put those on, you won't be cold."