The Perfect Alternative To Fossil Fuels!!!!!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'........... I just paid 32 dollars to put gas in my car.......32 dollars.........
So I says to myself, Self, what can we do to stop the Reptilian Greys Illuminati Masons from rippin' us off on all that oil and stuff? Yep, those Reptilian Greys Illuminati Masons are just pretendin' that that oil is expensive. I know it's not expensive! I watched a really cool documentary called Hillbillies or somethin' like that, where this guy Jed Clampett just shot a hole in the ground and all this oil came flyin' out! Yep, now good ole Jed Clampett lives in Beverly Hills with a cement pond and everything!
I don't really like those Reptilian Greys Illuminati Masons! Like that Butcher down the street - I still don't trust him with his beady little eyes, and that little white hat and apron. He thinks he's so cool.

Hmmmm........... so what can we use instead of oil & gasoline? What can we use?

C'mon brain, I need you to do some good thinkin' here........

Let me call my faithful dog Yabastaad over here. I do some really good thinkin' when I pet my dog Yabastaad. So I say "Come here Yabastaad, lie down Yabastaad" And he comes runnin' over. Why does my neighbor always look at me like that when I say anything to Yabastaad? I bet he's just jealous that he doesn't have a really cool dog and stuff.....

Hmmmmm, what can we use - hey what's that smell? Why does Yabastaad have that surprised look on his face?
C'mon brain, do your thing - Jeezuz Christmas, what on earth is that smell? It's really gettin' strong and stuff. Oh I get it, Yabastaad ate some hot dogs, and now he's tootin'.......
Hold on! I can feel a really good thinkin' thought comin'.....
Go in another room Yabastaad! My eyes are waterin' and stuff.
What is the perfect alternative to oil and gas and stuff. Hmmmmm......

They're workin' on those Hydrogen cars and stuff, but it's gonna take a long time to get everything together, plus did anyone hear about how explosive Hydrogen is? Why don't they just name the car "The Hindenburg Coupe"? Nope not perfect.

Hey how about one of those fancy Hybrid cars? Ever seen one? I'd rather ride my bike with a trashcan on than one of those. It's not a real good car to pick up chicks in - at least not the ones that shave, and clean their clothes anyway. Nope not perfect.

Wait! I got it! I love you Yabastaad!

The perfect alternative for oil and gasoline is natural gas! Yep, I've seen those videos where people light their toots on fire. It's perfect!

Just eat a couple cans of beans an hour or so before you have to drive somewhere, and problem solved! Oh brain, I love you!!!!!

Yeah, like you'd wear these special pants that have a nice tight seal around the ankles and waist, that way the gas can't get out. And there could be a fancy tube that runs from those special pants, and goes to the engine and stuff. Man this is some good thinkin'!

Hold on! There's more!!

They could invent some really cool baked bean pill. Like 1 pill is like eatin' 100 cans of beans or somethin'!

That way, instead of pullin' up to the gas station and sayin' fill her with regular, you would pull up to a drive through window and say, I need a bottle of those super bean pills.

This really is perfect! Since I'm originally from Northern New Jersey, the stinky emissions will remind me of my youth!

Oh Brain, you've done it again!

Brilliant! Yes that's some good thinkin' ya got goin' on there. The only problem might be in the fuel source being overcharged for the trip. There'll have to be some way to calibrate the number of bean pills required for the trip.

Too few and you're stranded. Too many and you'll continue to be productive past the point of need. And with those special pants on, you're liable to be walking down the street and blow your sneakers off.

I like your idea, but how about changing the pants for a cool looking pair of shorts, that way you could have more compression and when your full you let off a little valve were the tube joins the shorts and it would shoot very fast down the pipe...

Well thats my oppinian anyway.
Keep on thinkin, dude...

Originally posted by chris01621
I like your idea, but how about changing the pants for a cool looking pair of shorts, that way you could have more compression and when your full you let off a little valve were the tube joins the shorts and it would shoot very fast down the pipe...

Well thats my oppinian anyway.
Keep on thinkin, dude...

Now that is some good thinkin'! Yep, we're not gonna let those Reptilian Grey Illuminati Masons rip us off anymore!

Wait! I just had some more good thinkin'! I bet I should buy some stock in those baked bean companies.........