“Intersection” (11.20.06)

The drama is done,
the night is over -- given to a new day;
but the crash has not yet ended
for me.

The event was scratched onto a
record that was broken -- is
still skipping:
That streetlight is still red &
the streets are still wet &
the sound of cause, and
effect
impacting,
scraping &
straining &
giving way to
crunching &
screaking &
the car is still turning &
the t-t-t-tires are still hop-p-p-ping &
the door is bowed so that
the rain and snow are dropping
in
on 4 girls.

And time stops.

Then we remember to breath
and find our voices
shaking,
trembling.
The driver screams,
she cries
for all of us.
She did what I could not --
gave her jittering nerves,
taut and plucked,
release.

I left my private island behind &
found each person
with my eyes, crying,
with my arms, hugging.
We never would have thought to do that
sitting in class,
never would have made bridges
to cross the gaps
just to let each other know that
we are okay.

Today we smiled and hugged,
and I knew that the
drama was done --
the player was unplugged,
the record was done.

An accident crashed islands together
to form a new continent
of friendship.
*****

I'm not a poet, in fact my poetic pen is still rusty and filled with air bubbles... but I'm glad to have gotten this out of my system. (And most certainly glad that last night is over with!)

I am debating a few tweaks, but overall -- any suggestions?

I'm realizing a repeat in words, and I don't know if it works itself out to being okay, or just too much...

"Today we smiled and hugged,
and I knew that the
drama was done --
the player was unplugged,
the record was done."

what if I took out that last line? (there are two "done"s in close proximity... ugh)
Do you guys think it'd be too abrupt an ending?

"Today we smiled and hugged,
and I knew that the
drama had ceased
the player was unplugged
the record released"


I was just thinking ....???? But I'm no poet either so you don't have to take my suggestion too seriously.

It's a very dramatic poem, could almost be a song I think.



[edit on 20-11-2006 by elaine]