Columnist: Extending abortion to trimester 75 could ensure a huge army

Extending abortion to trimester 75 could ensure a huge army

I'm no stranger to sarcasm, satire, or even saying something absurd to make a point (for example), but this essay... Well, it goes just a little bit too far, imo.

In fact, I'm embarrassed that my alma mater saw fit to publish this.

...When an unwanted fetus reaches the 75th trimester, we send it to Iraq. This can go into effect retroactively. I’m sure there are plenty of unwanted fetuses out walking around that, had their mothers been better informed, would have been aborted. Some of these fetuses might even predate Roe v. Wade. I even expect we’ll have enough fetuses to cover the coming crises in Iran and North Korea.

The solution is that at any point in the fetus’ development, the mother tells the federal government she wants an abortion, and the government appropriates the fetus to the branch of the armed services the reluctant parent chooses. Then, mission accomplished or not, if the fetus survives to term, it will be aborted following its tour of duty. This works well strategically, because the fetus will fight like it has nothing to lose. We won’t have to worry about post-traumatic stress, or even veterans’ affairs because there will be no veterans. Some may call this inhumane, but I’ve heard that the terrorists are dispatching suicide bombers which may not have even reached their 59th trimesters. I know America has higher moral standards than that.

There's so much to take offense at, it's hard to know where to begin. At the very least: equating members of the military to unwanted fetuses? Sick. Twisted. Not even remotely amusing.

Frankly, I'm guessing that the author wanted to stir up some controversy - generate letters to the editor, and the like. Hell, I'm probably giving him what he wants by bringing this to the attention of a wider audience.

The guys own 'compassionant' theory even contradicts it's self in the article. I too would be embarrased if this was printed in my alma mater. Someone should talk to the editor of that paper.
He wasn't funny. I'm sure he would seem even more awkward than Borat was if he were to ever go to a comedian to get coaching on sarcasim.

On a side note how can one create an army if you are aborted. So what if their parents screwed up, so what if they themselves didn't get the most they could out of their lives, people are not something to joke about and claim that they should be aborted because they are worthless by some arrogant and ignorant fool.

Besides if you are in your 75th trimester you would be exactly 18years old. Is he saying that all 18 year olds who don't know who they are or aren't successful yet are worthless and should be used as cannon fodder or aborted? I hope not because I wans't much to write home about when I was 18 and now I'm doing great. Infact most of the successful people in the world didn't amount to much when they were 18.

What a doushe bag this guy is. Screw that he's a doudhe bag, the nozzel, and the stuff the it washed out.

Someone should also tell this dude that not everybody in the military are Forrest Gumps. Infact, to work alot of the equipment in most modern armies you do have to be reasonably intelligent. I doubt this guy would be able to load his gun let alone figure out the safety or fireing modes, and a gun is simple, try calling in a carefully calculated morter strike.

Alot of people in the military did graduate ivy league schools and chose to serve in the military. Some came from rich families others had to work for everything. I have a friend who graduated from Notre Dame University. Worked in a 6 figure salery at a high end company when he graduated, and left to serve in the Navy as an Intelligence Officer briefing soldiers before they went out into combat from forward bases in the combat zone. It would be funny to see the author of this article try and match wits with my friend, because I doubt he could. But the author probably would decline the request anyways, no doubt concidering debating a member of the military below him.