posted on May, 8 2007 @ 05:58 PM
I’m pissed at the UFO guys. Really. Why are they such incredible wusses? They sneak around in the dark. They kidnap innocent people, use mind
control on them and shove implants up their wazzus. They conduct secret experiments or drain blood from our livestock. What? Is this supposed to scare
us? Every time they are seen they run away or disappear. Every time one of their flimsy ships hits a radar beam it crashes, so I think they know
we’re not scared of them.
But they do all this stealth nonsense and mess up our wheat with crazy crop circles nobody understands. Oh, yeah, it’s a Mandelbrot set, but what
the f does it mean? If they do make contact, it’s either with a doped up 60’s leftover hippy with '___' flashbacks who fakes UFO models with pie
tins, buys plastic ray guns off ebay and says they're real, or some secret government new world order fascist commie masonic black project type who
doesn’t want to tell anybody, or some whacky channeler who makes up stuff anyway. I mean, really; if they want us to change why don’t they talk to
some credible people? And, no, Greer isn’t credible. He USED to be credible, but he whigged out. We can get you a list of a dozen credible people in
a few minutes, really. How about Stan Friedman? All he talks about is stuff that happened half a century ago anyway; he needs some new material. How
about the Dali Lama? How about Al Gore? (Well, no, forget that.) Show up during a Presidential debate. Now that would be cool! How about the Amazing
Randi? Really, this is easy. Just ask. There are still a few people out here who haven't completely destroyed their own reputations. Use them, but
don't use menguard!!
And stop with this inter-dimensional reincarnational soul catcher crapola. Yeah, I know it’s probably true, but you don’t have to go there. It’s
too complex. It’s counter-productive. And besides, that WILL really freak us out. Save it for AFTER you address a joint session of Congress,
Parliament, and the kibbutz (or whatever). And, look. We promise not to panic. We all watched Aliens, for god’s sake and we kicked the crap out of
you in Independence Day. We didn’t panic then. The religious zealots will just attend church more, we guarantee it. If you look like the Close
Encounters guys you’ll do fine. We like them; they're cute.
And these jerk aliens have gotten worse over time. They used to give you straight answers. At least when they talked to George Adamski the alien guys
got out of their spaceships and shook hands and said yeah, we’re from Venus and you better stop messing with nuclear weapons. So that’s what we
did. Oh, there have been a coupla tests since then, and we sure did build a lot of them, but we never set them off on people again after the space
guys told us not to. Besides, there are a lot less of them than there used to be.
If these jerks are so interested in our well being or the well being of the planet then they need to stop messing around. They need to show
themselves, land on the white house lawn (or Paris or London or New Delhi. I don’t really give a rat’s behind WHERE, just DO IT! No, we’re not
going to shoot you down. I thought you guys could handle it, anyway. Make sure the cameras are there.
And if they tell us, look, humans, you gotta go to solar power in ten years. You already know how to do it. You have the technology. You have to phase
out carbon. So here’s the plan. You go to solar and we’ll let you into the Galactic Federation and give you lots of cool stuff. Given a generation
you’ll all be rich as hell and nobody starves. Humanity no longer suffers and everyone’s happy. Deal?
So that’s what the UFO guys need to do. Quit hiding behind trees, come out in the open and say, “Hey, we’re here. You must deal with us. You
have no choice.” But if you continue to hide and play games only the weirdos and nutcases and New Agers will believe you. And that simply is not
enough to be effective. Get over yourselves and Come on Down!
[edit on 8-5-2007 by schuyler]