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The Perfect Halloween Display!!!!!!!!

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posted on Oct, 26 2006 @ 12:29 PM
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So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'.......... So I says to myself, Self, what would be the perfect Halloween decorations.......

Hmmm...........the perfect Halloween decorations........

Hmmmm, c'mon brain, do some thinkin'........the perfect halloween decorations.....

Those bags with sand in the bottom that you put a lit candle in? They look nice and stuff, but it took me like 3 days to get out of the burn center after the last time I used them....Nope, not perfect.

Those really cool orange lights that you hang in the trees? Last Halloween I tried to put up those really cool lights in the tree in my front yard, but it started rainin' and stuff while I was puttin' up those really cool orange lights. After I regained consciousness, there were like 3 ambulance guys standin' around me in the front yard sayin' I was lucky that the circuit breaker went off. Nope, not perfect.

Corn stalks? Yeah, I had those corstalks in my front yard once. That Raccoon that was eatin' the corn left on those stalks didn't like it when I went out the front door. You can hardly see where those 39 stitches were on my leg though. Nope not perfect.

Hmmmmm.....gotta have pumpkins carved up all scary and stuff, but what else?

Wait! I got it!

I can dress my wifes Great Grandmother up in a witch costume, and sit her on the front porch! She'll yell at all of the kids when they come up for candy, because they woke her up. She sleeps ALOT. And when they say trick or treat she'll yell "What? What did you say?" And say "What are you supposed to be?" like really loud and stuff. Then she'll complain about their costumes. And her teeth fall out alot when she's talkin' and stuff - and man that's scary!

Hold on! FOG! Yeah you gotta have fog. Hmmmm........I saw a tire fire on the news once. Man there was alot of smoke. Yeah! I'll light a couple of tires on fire in the front yard - I bet everyone will be so surprised when they see all that fog and stuff!

Oh brain, this is such good thinkin'!

I can put a trampoline under my garage roof. Then like I can put on a really scary mask. Then I'll get a chainsaw. I'll start that chainsaw, then jump off the garage roof onto that trampoline! Man, everyone will be so surprised!

Yeah, that'll be the perfect Halloween Display!




posted on Nov, 1 2006 @ 10:11 AM
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So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'....... Yep, I'm gonna have lot's of time to do some thinkin'............
Last night was Halloween, and I was tryin' to make the perfect Halloween display.
So I carved up some pumpkins and stuff. Yep they looked all fancy and cool, and I put them on the porch, then I put those really cool fake spider webs all over. It looked all spooky and stuff. Then I did some more thinkin', and decided to put my wifes great grandmom on a really cool cot on the porch instead of havin' her sit down. That way she could lay down and be more comfortable. Plus she'd look like a body if she fell asleep. It was lookin' so cool.

Then I put a trampoline under my garage roof, and put some tires in the side yard with a big fan behind those tires. So I lit those tires on fire, and turned the fan on. Then I put on a really cool scary mask, got my chain saw, then climbed up on the garage roof, and waited for the trick or treaters to come.

I thought to myself - man there's an awful lot of smoke, and it really is startin' to stink and stuff..........It was gettin really hard to see, and my throat was startin' to burn a little. What's that sound - it kinda sounds like a fire truck......

Next thing you know great gram started screamin' and stuff, so I figured that there must be trick or treaters on my porch, but I couldn't really see them through all the smoke.........
So I turned on my chain saw, I bet those trick or treaters are goin' to be so surprised! Then I jumped off the roof onto that trampoline. I was screamin' a really cool spooky scream, and the chainsaw was buzzin' really loud and stuff.
I hit that trampoline, and went flyin' back up into the air...........

I couldn't really see, but I can tell you that a chainsaw slices right through electrical wires and stuff that are on those telephone poles. Suddenly the whole street was dark. There was just these flashin' lights all around. Great gram is screamin', and I'm thinkin' that there must be alot of trick or treaters, so while I'm still flyin' through the air, I turn that chainsaw on high, and scream a really super scary scream. So I hit the ground kinda hard, and the next thing I know I'm bein' thrown against the wall by this really strong water. Man, let me tell you, that fire truck hoses really hurt and stuff.........

When I woke up, there were alot of cops with guns aimed at me and stuff. What the......? Something about terrorizin' a neighborhood, and endangerin' the lives of the entire police force...........
I bet they're just so jealous because I had such a cool Halloween display........



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