posted on Oct, 23 2006 @ 02:40 PM
A break from viewing this topic was necessary in order for me to clearly define and articulate a response to Chissler's inquiry into identifying who
the victim(s) in suicide really are. Chissler, many of your comments have a cavalier attitutude which has personally made it difficult to remain
engaged with this topic. You certainly must realize that with the posing of your question on this topic, the replies would come from those most
likely to have encountered, in some capacity, this tragedy in their own lives.
It is acknowledged and appreciated your intent to keep this discussion respectful, but you are adding insult to injury with comments like "people
have abandoned their loved ones, and chose not to deal with their problems". The complexity of the brain, its development and function, and the
influences of the biological, social, and psychological environment has a combined effect upon a person during their lifetime to determine a healthy
response to the stressors encountered during their lifetime. Therefore, the person committing suicide is the victim of the most serious consequence
of mental illness. Those remaining are the survivors. There is certainly no power in wearing the label of victim, but I'll concede to the
characterization of survivor.
You never know with certainty the state of mind of someone you interact with and how they are processing their internal conflicts. My sister, a high
functioning professional, had been in counseling for well over a year prior to her death. Her daughters had worked part time in her office and tried
to gain support from her manager and colleagues in addressing the deterioration of her behavior and work performance through their employee assistance
program. This effort, done under the guidance of their therapist, was unsuccessful even in the face of their acknowledgement of existing problems
which they hoped would resolve themselves with time.
Her anguish from personal tragedies and feelings of rejection and abandonment made us all feel helpless. We prayed earnestly for her to find comfort
from her pain while realizing her realiance on prescription drugs was where she relied for immediate relief. Her breaking point came soon after her
psychiatrist informed her by phone that he would be taking her off Xanax. The family was unaware of this information until much later.
After our discovering that she failed to show up for work, a call to her therapist to confirm if she had kept her appt from the day before couldn't
be answered due to HIPPA laws. She had advised us to contact police if she failed to respond to our knocks at the door and to keep her informed.
Excellent advice! Our personal grief counseling has allowed us to let go of our feelings of anger and replace it with hope. It's a new road to
travel but will be done in our search for strength, acceptance, and understanding.
This is one family's saga in the arena of mental illness. Unfortunately there are many more like it, some with less devastating results. As with any
illness, whether from cancer or heart disease, THIS will be a story of survival filled with hope. It's our choice...