You are in a Matrix (you are not you), page 1

Originally posted by Thill
The only thing that wonders me was that from what I understood , after you got out of body you were in a different place then where your actual body was lying .

While oobe you can travel to different places (usually at first its not to far from your own body ) , but I have never heard about somebody getting out in a different place than his body was originally located .

Also You might try and check a few threads about OOBE and try to redo the experience as you seem to be more prone to it than most people ..

Indeed I was fascinated for the longest time in trying to repeat this...well, the desire has never left. But it has not happened again. Kind of disappointing, but in a way Im not overly upset about it, because something in me knows deep inside that it will happen again. (It may not come in the form I 'think', though Im sure it will be along similar lines.)
It seems when things like this happen its always in a surprise form so that we dont have time to 'posture' for it. What I mean is you get to see where you really are...what it is you are thinking, feeling, your fears...(as I faced in this as well). Of note, it was the fear that linked me back to where I was. Interesting, dont want to develop a thesis around that one point alone.

But as classical OBE go, dont know.
Again, off the top of my head I would question the possible connection between all of the various experiences (OBE, NDE...I believe I related the 'NDE' experience I had when a car hit me and I was on my bicycle without a helmet to protect my head)

You mention me being prone to these things more so than others.
Maybe only due to how the circumstance align themselves. Given the right set up neuro chemically Im sure that others would experience (their own version) of what I did.

Im sure I mentioned (somewhere) that I had one h*ll of a year that year, as well as coming out of a deeper layer of OCD...I was listening and meditating on Eckhart and just letting go (really allowed the mind to chill) when this happened. I guess what Im saying is the stress could have been the precursor or catalyst that gave me what I needed to let go to the extent which this could happen.

Something similar to what the Zen guys do, I suppose, but they are more adapt to letting go without having to have the stress be what pushes them. (Stress is a fine method, if I can use those words...not really fine, as it does take its toll physically on you, so the release, or what-not, of the naturally occurring process of DMT in the brain through meditation without having stress be the point that drives you there, is preferred.)

Anyway...I actually re-read a note I made to myself the other day on an archive I had on CD. (It may even be in this post.) But it is something I kind of forgot about.
I made the point to note that I was aware that the me who is now writing to you is not real (well, in this case, the body that was there laying left behind), nor was the me who jumped out of the body. Both were as fake as the other. There was yet something further beyond me that was 'playing' me. (do forgive the words, I have not yet been able to wrap this experience in full with words that properly reflect which I felt...if you catch what Im saying.)

This is powerful in a sense, as it seemed obvious that what made the reality Im in now, vs. the reality I stepped out into more real is the fact that I invested more 'time' in this reality. It may be stating the obvious, but again this has profound implications if you consider the fact that this may be real. It goes to show that indeed life is made by the choices we make and we are not the victims of life...we only play that role.

Thurisaz posted a pretty cool quote that basically sums up one aspect, as I mentioned, of this experience. On one level it can sound nice and philosophical, and to many it will remain at that level. Yet on another level/place, on the experiential field ti takes on a whole new meaning. Its as if you realize that the words were just symbols that needed decoding and again, like words, point beyond themselves.

I do apologize for not being clearer. The truth is, this is yet as much as a mystery (not necessarily the fact that it may be related to the natural occurrence of DMT in the brain...but this leads to more questions of its purpose and connection to 'reality', etc), so this is yet a mystery to me in terms of the fact that I have not been able to experience it again.

In honesty, I still live wrapped up in my mind.
Im sure if I were to be able to find something (legally) to help reproduce the DMT like experience in my brain, I could verify if it is the same thing (or at least similar) or not - (to see the connection)

As of yet, that has not happened. What has happened, is that I have been slowly changing my perspective (well, slowly changing my life habits to my new perspective) so that what I talk about (dropping thought as something that dominates me so to speak) becomes a natural part of my life. In short, I expect that I will indeed eventually repeat this experience, just not sure when.

I will say that as of recent I have been having some pretty cool dreams.
Might not sound as exciting, but to me when I wake up in a clear state and am able to have more insight into an area, that is pretty cool indeed. I see this connected, with that experience long ago...as if that experience were a prelude or a teaser to whats to come.

Again, this is no big mystery in the sense that its open to everyone.
The jist of the whole thing is about finding ones own personal freedom and meaning in life. Im not sure how well I conveyed what I wanted to here, but it is as it is none-the-less. Perhaps one day I will be able to re-construct and re-write a lot of what I have posted so that it makes more sense.

On another note, Im realizing how more and more it doesnt really matter if I do this or not. In my excitement of my journey, I have had zeal, like many others (in regards to other things/issues of life) and wanted to share the enlightened tidbits I had.
Well, what is enlightened to me may be someone elses hell. And not only that, but to communicate my journey where someone else gets it is hard...because perhaps they want to find that particular piece of the puzzle for themselves.

In short what Im saying, is that Im realizing more and more the futility of even writing what I am now. I do so no longer out of crusade (and im not referring necessarily to this post, I dont feel Im out trying to convince anyone of anything), but because I enjoy writing. I suppose its the same with a search, we do it because its fun...its the game...the game of life.

We truly have whatever it is we need in us, and the rest, the interaction is on a surface level.

I fully anticipate that once I re-read what I just wrote that chunks of info will have been left out to clearly connect the pieces. I do write stream of conscious and rather fast...but there is enough info to play with. And after all thats what its there for, to play with. You have your game, and I have mine. Perhaps one day we will be able to more clearly see into each others 'universes' - not to get too 'spacy' with the talk

Peace

dAlen