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My War on Terror Jokes

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posted on Oct, 12 2006 @ 10:36 PM
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So ATS have you had enough of the lies, and deception of the world we live in? Perhaps its time to roll it into one huge catalogue of jokes? Mine were done quickly, but sort of get better as you go along. Anyone else’s comments-ideas would be great.

1. Why is the War in Iraq called operation Iraqis freedom? Because once you’re dead, you’re free to do anything.
2. Why did Dick Cheney go down to Fox News Headquarters at 4 a.m. in the mourning? He had suffered a power cut at home.
3. Why did George Bush go on 24 hour television to explain his War on Iraqi freedom? Because after 24 hours he still hadn’t produced an explanation.
4. What do George Bush and Osma Bin Laden share in common? One lives in caves, the other tries to comprehend them.
5. What does Israel share in common with the Cuckoo? After a while, the nest is no longer yours. By the way; whatever happened to the American Eagle? The Cuckoo pushed it out the nest.
6. Why does Osma Bin Laden live in caves? We used up the oil there a long time ago.
7. Why does Bush always look so happy after a news conference? The cameramen say “Cheese”.
8. What did the hair dresser say to the president? There’s not enough oil on your hair.
9. Why does Dick Cheney want to find life on Mars? He thinks it will do wonders for Halliburton’s shares.

10. When did George Bush first accuse Saddam of being insane? Immediately after he learnt he got rid of his Weapons of Mass Destruction.
11. In a recent economic speech George Bush mentioned a topic entitled “the Poor Economy America Can Escape”. What was he referring too? “Peace”.
12. Why does George Bush want to build the international space station so big? The court said “as long as its on land Guantanamo Bay will always be illegal”.

13. Feeling frustrated George Bush went to Afghanistan to try and find Osma Bin Laden. He followed the cave sign that said “Area 51” and sure enough he found him. Both men were armed; so being a good sport they each agreed to play a game of Russian Rullet. They both fired one shot; so why did they both miss? Answer: Each was aiming for the brain.
14. Why did George Bush mistake a parcel for Semtex at Christmas? It contained the unread letters of the soldier’s families, and when it was opened it exploded with great force.
15. Why is Rupert Murdoch the son of god? He owns all the Sun, Star, Sky and Times.
16. What did he say at his crucifixion? Paparazzi go away; or I'm not printing this!

17. (U.K) Why does the Sun newspapers Letters to the Editor only ever cover one subject? All the audience is single minded.
18. Letters to the Editor: Why did they invent the paper shredder? Rupert Murdoch sacked his editors.
19. (U.K) What’s wrong with writing to parliament? It ends up underneath Tony’s “Sofa Cabinet”.
20. Why did North Korea detonate a nuclear bomb? The leader had always promised “a bright future”.
21. (Solely North Korea) Why was the nuclear bombs (casing) so big? The engineers took Kim Jong at his word.

22. What did the psychiatrist give the marine who saw terrorists? A pill. What did he give the other who said he was “at war with terror”? A Medal.
23. How do you pursue a war against terror? Leave you fox news at home, and open up the history books (pretend someone else is president).
24. Why is Osma the King of terrorism? Others do the terror, he does the living.

P.S Very sorry about that last joke. I Had to edit it (and omit the others after it) because whilst I aren’t scared of upsetting religious fundamentalists myself (by “insulting Islam”); I care about my mum.




posted on Oct, 13 2006 @ 06:15 AM
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here's a suicide-bomber joke:

Maram and Fatima are shopping in the markets of Gaza one day..Fatima sees a beautiful dress hanging on one of the stalls. She asks to try it on, shows Maram, and asks "Does this make my bomb look big?"



posted on Oct, 13 2006 @ 08:53 AM
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Originally posted by timski
here's a suicide-bomber joke:

Maram and Fatima are shopping in the markets of Gaza one day..Fatima sees a beautiful dress hanging on one of the stalls. She asks to try it on, shows Maram, and asks "Does this make my bomb look big?"




haaahah



posted on Nov, 14 2006 @ 05:35 PM
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1. What do you call Bin Laden on a Donkey? Two Asses

2. What's the difference between a terrorist and a Deer? Noone feels bad about seeing the Terrorist shot!

3. Why is the FBI different from the Rest of America? They Actually WANT Bin Laden!

4. How does a terrorist stay in shape? By Running from countries.

5. What's the right way to kill a terrorist? Any way you can.

6. What do you call terrorist flight school? A Crash Course!

7. What do you bring to a terrorist funeral? Champaign and Confetti!

8. What's the best way to use a terrorist? Target Practice!

Tim




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