posted on Oct, 13 2006 @ 10:27 AM
I have to agree with Asala.
I'm probably old enough to be your father, so I'll give you some fatherly advice.
Love is something that is very hard to describe. I remember when I had my first several girlfriends, I thought I was in love every time. I wanted to
spend every second with her, I couldn't stop thinking about her, I planned my entire future right down to retirement age with her in my plans.
I also became a chameleon. What do I mean by this? Simple. I pretended to be the person she wanted. I "liked" the same things she liked - music,
clothes, movies, and those types of things, most of which I really didn't care about one way or the other. I did ALOT of things I didn't really
believe in just to be in her company. I just needed to be the one that she wanted.
That being said, I realized after the fact that the one I fell in love with - I mean really fell in love with - was a woman who became my best friend.
Listen, and this is very important. My wife and I have our differences, there are things she likes that I can't stand, and vice-versa. Simple things
for the most part. For instance she likes to watch shows that make me want to commit suicide like The Batchelor, or Dancing With The Stars, while she
would rather chew on tin foil than watch the Philadelphia Eagles and Flyers play. BUT, that makes it interesting, and we are honest about our dislike
of the others likes, but we make our concessions. We have MANY things that we mutually like. The conversation is not forced, and sometimes we go out
on the town, sometimes we stay home and do a whole lot of nothing, but it always seems to be nice.
When you hang out with your group of friends you are yourself right? You are who you are, and your comfortable in that group right? You can do
something silly and everyone laughs at you, but your not really insulted right? You need to be as comfortable around the one you love as that. A
LITTLE jealousy is normal, it's just a basic instinct, but if you truly cannot trust the one you love, then it is not love. My wife goes out with the
girls every once in awhile, and I know that she dances with other men, perhaps even gets a little flirty, but I trust her. It makes her feel good
about herself, and I know that at the end of her night out that she's coming home to me. I do the same thing. I go out with the guys every once in
awhile, and I talk to other women (Trust me - not you or anybody else ever wants to see me dance. I look like I'm having a seizure.) but I would
never do anything to jeopardize my relationship. The same is true about the jealousy factor coming from your girlfriend. If she doesn't trust you,
and wants to keep you in a "cage" then it's not a good sign.
Without trust, you have absolutely nothing.
As Asala said, there is lust, and there is love. Love happens over time. Love is when you put yourself AFTER the one you love. You would spend your
money on a movie with her that you don't really want to see, rather than buy that CD you really want because you WANT to, because it makes her happy.
When she would go to a football game that she could care less about rather than go to the mall shopping because she WANTS to, because it makes you
happy. Those are SOME signs of love. The thought of her being unhappy is something that really hurts you and vice-versa.
Love is a very special, and beautiful thing. And it really doesn't come along very often. Take things slow, and if love is there it will blossom like
a beautiful rose. If it is not there, don't pretend that it is, as someone will absolutely get hurt.
I hope that my long diatribe helped.