An answer as promised
Couple of issues here...we'll just start typing and see where this goes okay
Yin and Yang type love:
Finding the one for you, who suits you, is individual...your choice to make ultimately...though I will speak with reference to those couples I know
and relationships I've been in...
Yin and Yang are opposites, as you say...yes they are about balance, they are the light and the dark, the positive and the negative, the up the down.
Though when it comes to relationships one must ask what is the glue that holds them together...one answer could be commonality....another could be
I think of the relationships I know of, those relationships that have spanned decades upon decades, still strong, still loving...those people tend to
very much be similar to one another. The bond, like any bond, is not formulated on difference...but on similarity. Common interests, common joys even
common sadness, common passions, common expressions, common thought...the couples I know of who are long long term couples (and I'm specifically
thinking about my own parents here) operate in unison.
Thats not to say they are without difference. There can be no complete Yang if you are Yang...no complete Yin if you are Yin...why? Because thats the
inherent facet of our humanity...uniqueness. We can hold commonality with someone, but still very much hold difference...and thats perhaps the deeper
issue. Yin and Yang within OURSELVES...balance and compensation/compromise within us. Any long term relationship has differences yes, and has
compensation/compromise for/towards the other and thus providing balance to the other...there will be times when one person is up and the other is
down...that is when one steps in for the other, carries and cares for the other...compensates for whatever they may lack and in return their
significant other does the same for them. There is your *pretty much* complete balance...it doesn't, in most cases, come from one being solely Yin
and the other solely Yang...
But do relationships based on one being solely Yin and one being solely Yang work?? I think thats an issue between those two people and something that
time would be the judge of. Again, reflecting back to those relationships I know of, or have been in:
A Yin and a Yang together is VERY passionate to begin with...there is much raw emotion and energy, much spontaneity, much SPARK...why? I believe it
comes from conflict. It comes from differences...that emotional energy and passion arises from the conflicts of attempting to meld together two
opposing trains of thought, two opposing ways of seeing the world. Conflict creates energy...plain and simple. Its great, its intense, it brings many
times of *wahooo!* and many times of *grrr how could you!* But does it last?? Or does it simply burn itself (and those involved) up within the
intensity and possible volatility (due to extreme differences of opinion) of the relationship. Looking at long term relationships seems to say to me
that its a little less likely. Of course that comes down to how the couple deal with their differences...I certainly feel that it can indeed be good
to have some differences with your partner, some different interests etc...I feel that adds a certain form of 'spice' to the relationship, something
about them that seems interesting, new, exciting. Though I also believe that when it comes to our 'untradables', our 'core beliefs'...those
fundamental parts of ourselves that are the true definers of who we are, the parts we will not sacrifice for anyone...those parts, if different, can
become breeding grounds for conflict...those parts, for reasonable harmony of a long-term relationship, would do well to be either somewhat similar or
at least respected.
Okay...to highlight the *passion* and *spark* that can come from two opposing positions...to highlight the energy that can come from
'conflict/disagreement' a little more *physically* and I mean no offence by discussing this topic: Many couples will tell you some of the best sex
they have ever had is that 'make up sex'...the sex you have when you are still kind of angry with the person, when you are still a little tense
about the conflict and opposition of thought etc etc...because you have raw energy, raw *dare I say* animalistic drive within you at the time. Its
VERY passionate...its VERY intense. Oh yeah, I know some of your reading this are nodding your head with a 'Hell Yeah!'
But then again so too can be that beautiful tender in-tune 'love making' of couples who aren't at logger-heads with eachother...
The issue of being destined to receive or not receive love:
Oh Mags...oh you KNOW I know this well...oh hell yeah its something I'm had flying around my mind for years upon years. I dunno Mags...while I do put
some weight towards destiny...I am also a great believer in "Fate deals the cards, YOU choose how to play them"...neither all fate/destiny...neither
all our own actions. But what I do know for sure is this...nothing happens if you discard it...nothing comes that you don't allow to
come...self-fulfilling 'destiny'...sometimes it isn't an issue of "Am I destined to have love", but an issue of "Am I allowing myself to BE
loved". And thats a brain-basher that I've whipped myself with for many years...
...plenty more I wanna say...but thats enough for now
...if I went off track on anything, let me know and I'll try to clarify...
[Edited on 11-11-2003 by alien]