Help Me Pay it Forward

Nice one Chissler!

Pay it Forward was an excellent film, i bought it ages ago and am currently passing it on around another internet forum, people watch it then send it to the next forum member that wants it.

Theres a Random Acts of Kindness site too which is pretty much the same thing.

www.actsofkindness.org...

Theres nothing like the feeling you get when you've just helped someone and they never expected it, it's even nicer when you just walk off and don't expect a thank you, you just know how much you've helped someone.

The other day i helped a woman whose car needed jump starting and she said it was an ongoing problem. I got her car started then went down the garrage and got her a set of leads for her car, she was gobsmacked when i walked into the bar and gave them to her lol.

I sometimes enjoy giving the coffee shop assistant a few extra quid and asking them to pay for the next persons coffee, you should see the next customers face when they realised someones bought them a coffee!

The thing is, it's not something thats hard to start doing, but it gets very addictive.
I have to admit i have'nt done it for a few days, but i try and do something like this at least weekly if not daily. It does'nt have to be something big, but it can be huge to the person on the recieving end.

I'd strongly recommend everyone here who has never done this to do a random act of kindness tomorrow, just think if everyone here did it and it had a knock on effect........thats a whole lot more happy people than we have in the world at the moment!

CX.



[edit on 8/10/06 by CX]

Here are some other inspirational stories to give you an idea of what other people do.

www.actsofkindness.org...

CX.

Hey, Thanks for the link.

Going to have to check that out and read some of the stories.

You're a good man Chissler.

I try to do these things as a matter of normal life.
I take in my neighbors trash cans on windy days.

Or scrape the ice off a neighbors car in the morning, since I'm already out there.


But this one stands out for me.

I was working in Philly, at the Enquirer.
I went across the street to Macdonalds for some breakfast.

As I headed up to the counter, I saw an obviously homeless woman, asking a family for a buck so she could eat.

There were about 5 at the table, husband , wife ,3 kids.
The kids were old enough to understand the basics of life.
The Father reached in his wallet, pulled out a one dollar bill, wadded it up, and
THREW IT ON THE FLOOR.. bastard..in front of his kids.

The timing was just right for me to swoop down on the dollar, and toss it back in his face.

I invited this poor lady to get in line with me, and order whatever she wanted.
Then I sat with her, right next to that bastard, who would not look at me.
It was a nice breakfast. One of the best I ever had.

Great story, space. His kids will never forget that moment.

Serves him right.

You're a good man too spacedoubt..........

It takes courage to point out rudness in others in such a graphic and public manner.

I live in New York and see homeless people all the time either on the street or on the subway and I always try to give them a couple bucks. It is hard to see someone really pour out there heart for the misfortunes that have befallen them and get so many I don't care looks...while trying to maintain their dignity, so every chance I get I am happy to give what i can.

I had abit of a setback this weekend.

I'm going to leave most details out, but lets just say I tried to help somebody who is in desparate need. They come to me for help, and I am more than willing to go the extra mile. However, they are more than content in the hellish life they live.

Oh how this frustrated me. They come to me and look for help that I am willing to offer. But when it comes time to accept the help, they turn their back.

This person is near and dear to my heart, and when I can help complete strangers but not capable of helping this person, it made me take a step or two back. I have come to grips with it now, and understand that this is the lifestyle that they wish to live.

This is a part of life, not everbody is willing to accept the help we can offer. As simple as the fix may be, if the individual is not willing to take the help I believe we need to simply wait until they are.

I believe Paying it Forward is one of the greatest things we can do. But when we cross a person that does not want the help, you need to walk away. It is only you that is going to get hurt in these situations.

pay it forward is a philosophy i try to live buy, sometimes depending on where or what your doing, it can falter, as chissler explained with the theatre incident. But the majority of the time I give out more than what comes back. the restaurant incident was refreshing to read...brought a smile to my face.

My Son and I went on holiday and the last day, we were just wasting time in Brisbane. To be honest, we were both tired and just wanted to get home. Anyway, I am walking with him thinking what shall we do for 2 hours when I hear this whistle. There is a guy busking in the mall and he was starting his show. Well, for 30minutes this guy was fantastic and b4 long a whole crowd of people were watching. At the end of the show he asked for donations. I was like '#' I didnt have any change, only a 50 dollar note. I watched a few people go up and give him goldies (1 & 2 dollar coins) and then I said to my Son, go and put this in his hat. lol I decided to just give him 50 dollar note. Well, his eyes nearly popped out of his head. It was a great feeling. We video taped his show on the digital cam and watched it back later and it was worth every dollar.

Generosity is a really good thing. I wouldnt normally give out that much but it left us with this buzzing feeling.

Very classy move. In the end, the feeling you gained from offering the money would be much better than if you kept it for yourself.

Reading of the story reminded me of something my father once did when I was younger.

A friend and I walked into a restaurant one night to have a bite to eat. Already seated in the restaurant was my brother and father who had ordered. My father sipped on a cold beer while my brother had a coke. We went in and made our order with some drinks and awaited our meal. As we waited, we chatted back and forth and laughed about everything that had gone on that day.

After about 5-10 minutes pass, our meal arrives. My friend and I chow down on the meal, and before I know it we have finished our meal. We get up to go pay for our bill, and I notice that my brother and father are still waiting for their food. I could see the frustration in their faces, but they remained calm.

They were already seated by the time I arrived, so I had asked how long they have been waiting. My brother quickly snapped it was about 45 minutes. It was then my father asked the waitress what was going on with the meal and she responded that she would go check.

What had happened was when she placed the order in with the chef, he misplaced it. He never mentioned anything to anyone, just continued on with his business. My brother being himself quickly got upset and was complaining to the waitress, which was heard by the surrounding tables and you could see them agreeing and also upset with the waitress.

Problem was, she was not to blame. My father understood this and quickly apoligized to her. He paid for his beer and the coke, left a ten dollar tip on the table for her embarrassment and walked out to find a phone to order a pizza.

My brother and I still laugh at this one, and he's still upset he left the tip. I can understand why and am glad he did so.

This happened to me when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was driving to Trippler Army Medical Center for my check up and was in my Navy dress whites when my car had a blow out on H-1. Mind you I was 6 months along and wasn't looking forward to attempting to change the tire. I car pulled up behind me and 3 very large men got out; I remember thinking "oh ###". They said "Hey sistah grabbed the spare and changed it for me. About 2 years ago my daughter and I were on our way to a 4-H meeting and were running late; I stopped at 7-11 for gas and a very large coffee and I guess the bad day I had been having was showing 2 teenage boys gave me their place in line how could I help but smile after that.

I also have helped people. A few years back I worked the front gate greeting the public. We had a woman and her 2 small girls up visiting an inmate. The girls were so scared I knelt down in front of them and asked what they were scared of? They responded you and every thing. I spent a few minutes talking to them and their mother and finally got them smiling. After the visit the Mom told me it was the best they had ever had. Later that week the kids saw me in the store and ran across and gave me a huge hug.

About 18 months ago a gentleman was sitting in front of the grocery store my brother works at asking for help. I stopped and asked him what had happened; he had been injured during harvest and had no money to get home. My daughter and I went to the deli and bought him some food and cold drinks (July is hot) and I put some cash in the bag. We just dropped it off to him.

Chissler thanks.

This wasn't really a random act of kindness. One Christmas I knew of a woman with 2 kids, she worked at the school district part time and her son had serious medical issues. There wasn't going to be a Christmas for them. I went to work and at roll call told my fellow officers about her and asked if perhaps we could help her. I didn't expect more then a few toys. Oh my gosh, we delivered bags of food, toys, clothes and gave her an envelop containing 500.00 cash, gift certificates. On my shift at the time there were only 20 officers and all of us had kids and grandkids. It was so awesome that is one of my favorite Christmas memories. I never did tell her exactly where it all came from.

Sharing stories just like those, are what pushed me to create this thread.

We all have them, and we all remember how good it made us feel. But some of us do not understand how much we actually have done, or how much we have done for the person.

I'll pass this story on from a guest speaker I heard from a few weeks ago.

She was a prostitute and drug abuser from a very young age. Just as her mother was, and her mother before that and all of her sisters beside her. She had always said that this came to no surprise as her, she accepted her place in life at a young age. Tragic, isn't it?

Well she had six kids of her own, four of which were getting alittle older and out on their own but two were still very young. It crushed her that she had given up all of her kids, but she felt worthless.

That is until one day when she was standing on the corner when a family of three walked past her. The father and daughter walked by as everyone else did, basically right through her. But the mother did not, the mother eyed her for every step she took. This made her uncomfortable, but she tried to ignore it. The mother would not drop it though, she had the lazer beams set right on her.

The mother dropped the bags in the car, turned around and marched straight back at the lady. Alittle intimidated, she took a step back and was not sure what to expect.

The mother simply said, "Excuse me, Could I have a hug?"

The lady did not know what to think, thought for a moment and finally hugged the mother. They released from one another, the mother turned around and walked back to her family.

An hour later, the prostitute packed up her bags and left the corner. Never returned to it again.

She had a few relapses into drugs and alcohol, but she did get her two younger kids back and began to give these speeches to hopefully prevent other young girls or boys from travelling the path she did.

Being reminded that you are worthy of human contact, and you do belong is a message bigger than we can understand. The mother said nothing to her, other than asking for a hug. She never looked back, and ever tried to look one another up.

Just one helluva person who was Paying it Forward.

I really like this story.

[edit on 11-10-2006 by chissler]

I work on this project everyday.

I am not going to detail anything I may have done here, but I want you all to know this is a way of thinking and behaving for me in my life, that I TRY to bring to the front of my mind all the time.
I really believe if ALL people lived this way and tried to think in this manner.....the world would be a MUCH better place.

CONGRATS to ALL the ~PAY IT FORWARD~ ATS crowd! You ALL do ATS proud!!!

Keep it up!

LIVE IT! BE IT!

Originally posted by theRiverGoddess
LIVE IT! BE IT!

Them four words say so much.

Thank you for your kind words River.

Anyone else have any stories to share?

At Wal-Mart today, I was standing in line at the checkout with an arm full of stuff. My girlfriend and I were just chatting back and forth as we waited. Then I caught a check out next to us preparing to open.

As I motioned to walk over, this lady with a cart pulls a crazy 180, and almost smacks me with the cart. She does not even acknowledge what she did and jumps into the line in front of me. It frustrated me, not that she cut me off, but that she didn't have the courtesy to take a second look and apologize.

I shrugged it off and continued to wait patiently. If I was to say I wasn't frustrated I'd be lying. It was literally building inside me because the woman was being very ignorant to the young lady at the check out and rushing her along. Then I hear my girlfriend say, You can go ahead of us!

I turned around to see who she had allow to go in front of us, and it was this old lady shaking because she had so much in her hands. She was laughing because she said she was too stubborn to get a cart, but she didn't think she could hold it for a minute longer.

We let her go in front of us and shared a laugh as she laid her stuff down.

It alleviated all of the anger inside me from this other ignorant lady. I thanked my girlfriend for being kind enough to help out this lady after we were ignorantly cut off.

So there! An encounter where my girlfriend Payed It Forward! Felt good to be a part of it.

My latest brush with pay it forward.

I recently moved into a new suburb and noticed the Lady next door can barely get around she must be 90ish.

So albeit a small offer of help i now put her rubbish out every week.


Perhaps in 60 yrs time the young man who isnt born yet may do the same for me hey ?

This may be a small effort on your part, but it is certainly alleviating a huge burden off this lady each week.

Tasks we take for granted can be a major obstacle in old age, so your willingness to lend a hand is a great deed on your behalf.

You have voted chissler for the Way Above Top Secret award. You have two more votes this month.

I love the way you think dude. It's good to see people putting a great theory into damn good practice.

I was taught this principle in high school. The religious education teacher (we have "CE" classes over here, christian education) we had in year 10 was a really nice woman. Classes were always really laid back discussion or a movie. Pretty much a 1 lesson per week bludge. Was great fun regardless of your religion.

We watched pay it forward and the week or so after was amazing. Guys at an all boys school actually helping each other out was a pretty rare thing. Unfortunatley, the feeling died out and people started forgetting and everything went back to normal. I still hold the ideals close though.

Last sunday I picked up a new hat. It was a change of style for me, but I liked it. It went for about $40, and I thought I lucked out since it was the last one in the store.

Well today I had noticed some serious fading on the hat. I was really disappointed because its not exactly something you could wear anymore. I'm not picky about little things, but the stains on this are obvious.

Problem I had was I had tossed the receipt and did not have the tags. No hope in hell I would get my money back, but I held out on the possibility for some store credit. I walked in the store and talked with a guy at the counter who was about the same age as I. I told him th story, and I was surprised to hear that he actually remembered me from a few days earlier when I purchased it. So the fact I bought the hat there was not in question. He was upbeat and said he'd help me out right away.

Then Cruella herself entered the picture and took the rain clouds with her. The store manager throws a minor tantrum on him for saying he'd help me and that I was not getting any credit. I had no receipt and the stains were not there when I bought it. So it was not her problem she told me. I told her I knew the stains were not on the hat, but the fact it had deteriorated so much in 4 days was a bit of a problem. She basicaly said, too bad, and walked away.

This frustrated me, but I was ready to walk away. The other worker tells me to hang on for a second and waits for the manager to walk away. Then he continues to tell me to go home and pull a few threads out of the hat. Rip it up a bit he said and bring it back when she's not around. He said he'd gladly exchange the hat for me. They had no other hats in like this one, so he said he'd be more than happy to call a few stores to order one in.

This guy has really gone above and beyond to help me out. I never fully expected to get anything in return, but I had hoped to be treated a little better than what I received from the manager. He checked the schedules to give me a time to come back when she would not be in and he would be, and is going out of his way to order a hat in for me.

Absolutely made my day. My computer crashed today, running on a laptop now, woke up with a pounding headache, couldn't find my wallet for about 30 minutes when I was in a hurry this morning, and then to top it off my new hat was ruined. Needless to say I was pretty steamed all morning. Then this complete stranger goes completely out of his way help me out, when alls he had to do was walk away from the situation.

Felt Good.