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I feel hatred + I feel love = ?,
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Topic started on
21-9-2006
@ 10:39 PM by
Argos
I consume hatred,
And my heart is lifted with joy,
My whole life is in utter despair.
I absorb love,
And nobody loves me,
A thousand pleasures will never compare.
I don't understand the universe...
But it endeavours with us.
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This is my first post as a writer on ATS [Small Applause]
I have posted this little beauty i came up with a while ago whilst messing around with where my sentences go.
I know its basic and simple and i'd love to here alterations, add ons, what ever to see where it can go, but it is still one of my favourites so only constructive criticism please.
I've gone further with it my self but in essence the above is my favourite, and i'd love to know what you guys think.
reply posted on 21-9-2006 @ 10:46 PM by
earthtone
I like it, very good, short and to the point. The last two lines I think are my favourite, very true
Check out my poetry thread
www.abovetopsecret.com...
and lemme know what you think.
(my favourite is on page 4)
reply posted on 21-9-2006 @ 11:03 PM by
Argos
Thanks alot earthone from someone as talented as you it means alot, i checked out your poetry my favourite of yours is on page 4 also:
Look at the floor people of the world.
I see the universe i dont understand written in that poem.
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