Who Has The Worst Bad Joke?

Isn't it a joke in itself that anyone would collect BAD Jokes!

Tim

A guy walks into a bar, asks for a drink. After a couple more drinks he decides he can't drive home so he calls a taxi. The taxi drives him home and the he has a pretty good night. The next morning he goes to get his car

AND
















































He brings it back home and life goes on......



hahahahahhaha





-Jimmy-

why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side dummy!!!

A blonde walks into a building






why she didnt use the door, I have NO idea...

A blonde walks into a building






why she didnt use the door, I have NO idea...

A blonde walks into a building






why she didnt use the door, I have NO idea...

Why are the aliens messy tea drinkers?



With flying saucers it's hard not to spill it.

I found this Joke in the Aircraft Forum of ATS. The saddest thing is someone thought this BS was for REAL. Here you go, the Qantas Airline Mantenance Log:

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct
the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review
the
gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
maintenance
engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.
..


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

www.australianopinion.com...

As I said, I didn't come up with this one! However, I thought it was still worthy of a place on BTS's Worst Bad Joke Thread. The sadddest thing is the person who origionally found and posted this THOUGHT it was for Real! :shk:

Tim

Why has Ipswich got such a lousy rugby team?


Because all the hookers are dead!

That guy's nuts, grab 'em!!

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat???
(Click image)

Whats black and blue and bloody and hates having sex?




the 4 year old in my trunk!









i know....sorry bout that.... you did say "worst" joke, though.

Gotta say I love your avater Spliff4020, "Just call me Darth Balls, BONG"

Anyway:
How many Hippies does it take to change a light bulb?



100, 1 to change it, the other 99 to share the experiance.

Now hows that for BAD..

How many Bob Dylan fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

10...

1 to change the lightbulb, 5 to say they liked the old lightbulb better, and 4 to walk out cos it's gone electric

Two Palestinian women are shopping in the market in downtown Gaza one day when one spies a dress hanging on a stall. She asks the vendor if she can try it on, and then turns to her friend and asks "Does this make my bomb look big?"

Elton John is to release a song to comemorate the execution of Saddam Hussain...titled 'Dangle in the wind'

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and

says: "A beer please, and one for the road."



"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, 'It's

Not Unusual'."



Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says

to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't

believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

Two cows are standing in a field, one say's to the other "what do you thing of this Mad Cow Disease stuff"??

The other say's "I don't know, it doesn't concern me, I'm a duck"...

My 8-year-old came up with this darling...


Why did the cow cross the road?



It wanted to go to the moooo-vies!



Tee hee, kids!

Cuhail

This is an opertunity i can't miss! I have 2 bad jokes:

1. Why didn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?

Because it was rated Arrgh!

2. What happen to the paper when it fell into the ocean?

It got all washed up!