The Perfect Best Friend!!!!!!!!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin. So I says to myself, Self, who would be the perfect best friend?
Hmmmm............
Perfect best friend..........
My next door neighbor? Nah, he always parks in my parkin' spot.
Johnny at work? Nah, he like the Dallas Cowboys.
The guys from the Astronomy club - wait, I don't belong to any astronomy club.
Hey, how about my brother? Nah, he drinks all my beer, and leaves no toilet paper in the bathroom.
So who would be the perfect best friend?
C'mon brain, do some thinkin'.........
Perfect best friend...........
Wait! I got it!
Oh man this is some good stuff!
The perfect best friend would be Casper The Friendly Ghost!
He's a nice ghost. He doesn't eat, drink, or use any toilet paper!
Think about how cool it would be at Halloween! You could have casper out there scarin' all the little kids and stuff. I bet they'd be so surprised! I bet they'd run away screamin' and stuff. That way you wouldn't have to buy any candy! Now, that's some really good thinkin'!

Oh man wait! When you have your other friends over to play poker. You have Casper go into invisible mode, and read everybody elses cards, then he could whisper in your ear and stuff. I bet everyone would be so surprised when you win every single hand!
That is some thinkin' folks!

Yeah, I think that Casper The Friendly Ghost would be the perfect best friend!