Is Paedophilia Just Another Sexual Preference?

Originally posted by GradyPhilpott
Iori_komei is a curious young person.

Noted.

I don't think the member needs to be grilled about his questions or observations.

I thought I was actually trying to be diplomatic and rational. IMO this being moved to slugfest is inevitable as this thread is already riddled with disclaimers. The very nature of the subject means that opposing opinions are going to be opposing and controvercial. My questions are based on his opinions. I even got accused of inferring someone was a pedo when I gave an opinion regarding pedos. Feels like I'm trying not to step on broken class here.

I'm not sure how I or anyone can possibly respond critically without those inferences when someone says that children having sex can be okay. How do I do that without being accused of branding someone as a pedo or condoning it? Please tell me [seriously]. I'm definently not going to just call them 'liberal minded'. :shk:

Sober analysis will be sufficient in this context. Overly emotional responses will only cloud the atmosphere and lead either to the thread being closed or moved to Slugfest.

I think I better not respond anymore then.

[edit on 19-9-2006 by riley]

To tell you the truth Riley. you're doing a very good job
at being diplomatic with your posts.

I have'nt once been offended.

Though you're right this will end up being sent to slugfest,
but I can say right now I won't be the cuse, as I'm not overreacting
to statements, from either side of the debate, not saying you are
either, but there are others who have and will.

Originally posted by iori_komei
To tell you the truth Riley. you're doing a very good job
at being diplomatic with your posts.

Always.

I have'nt once been offended.

I'm glad. I've been trying my best to be accepting of differing opinions without losing objectivity or jumping the gun. I'll get back to your other reply later on.

Hmm... This is a very complex topic, and hats of to gfad for having the guts to say what was said. And he makes a good (or interesting?) point. I do, however, have to disagree, and say that paedophilia is not a "sexual orientation" such as homosexuality, bisexuality, etc.

Sure it is an attraction, but sexuality - such as those mentioned above - falls in the lines of gender attraction. One can argue that some paedophiles are attracted to either boys or girls or both and is thus gender specific, but let's not make it too complicated and stick to the attraction to young children –prepubescent.

In order to understand the “problem” we need to understand the problem. Something that’s very obvious is the fact that we don’t understand paedophilia. The Psychiatric Associations and societies believe that it’s a (mental) disorder – but as noted earlier, the same institutions believed homosexuality to be a disorder as well. If psychologists don’t understand the “disorder” how can the rest of us try to understand or even approach the problem? In Freudian psychoanalysis, sexuality is formed in the gradual organization of the libidinal drives to focus upon a particular object. The character of that object depends upon the subject s particular path through the various stages of psychic development. Thus a sexual deviancy was caused by some event during the forming years – such as rape, abuse or molestation. But then again Freud was a perverted old man – in my opinion. Not all paedophiles have a history of being abused as a child.

It’s true that many paedophiles turn to rape, actual assault and even murder at some stage, and are then classified as “psychopath”. But they are not psychopathic from the starting point. Like all of us are a potential killer/murderer – should we be pushed far enough – the paedophile is a potential psychopath. The paedophile is more likely to end up a psychopath, than you or me being a killer. It’s social pressure and the current judicial situation that drives them to complete psychopathic behaviour. They aren’t allowed act on their attraction, thus they begin doing it “under the table”. Driven by a primal force they no longer think like the rest of us, and end up committing extreme acts of violence and or abuse – making the sexual experience even better for them.

We won’t be able to handle the problem or the problematic behaviour before we really understand the psychological behaviour. Most people in this thread said, “I don’t know how a person can be sexually attracted to a child”. And it’s a fact. Even after hundreds, if not thousands of studies, we don’t fully understand the psychological reason for attraction to children.

Let’s say that paedophilia is a “natural” sexual attraction and not a deviant act, i.e. these people are born as such. This does in no way give them a right to do what they do. Sex with and/or molestation of a child can do no good to the child. Let’s keep in mind that the sexual act is actually the act of “making love”, i.e. an intense emotional act. The child does not understand this emotion – and it’s very unlikely that a child is even capable of having the emotion that leads to or is created by sex. The paedophile may mislead a child to an attraction with gifts, attention and what not, but this is not the true attraction that should be accompanied by love. If a paedophile were to be allowed to freely practise his/her sexual deviancy, there would no longer be the guilt (and other) psychological problems of child abuse victims – but this would cause a sexual deviancy with the child (because this is during the developing years) and would thus create a never-ending circle. And anyway I can’t foresee any preteen child actually loving an adult, i.e. consent.

Disclaimer: In no way do I agree with the act of paedophilia. No matter the cause, a child should never, EVER be robbed of his/her innocence. Being a child is hard enough, they shouldn’t have to worry about things like sex.

Originally posted by djohnsto77

Originally posted by lardo5150
**DISCLAIMER** I am not a pedophile

Ok, with that said. Wasn't the act of having sex with young males a part of culture back in the days of Rome?

I think you mean ancient Greece. It's widely documented that young boys would have sexual relations with their teachers. I believe the Romans disapproved of this, and was one of the reasons used to justify the conquering of the Greeks.



[edit on 9/15/2006 by djohnsto77]

Aigh it was Greeks, though Romans never cared much from age from my studies.

Throughout history mariage between young females and oldr males was a norm, as young as 12-13 pretty much at puberty you could be maried off. As far as I can tell that only stoped 1-2 hundred years ago (that young anyways) and the age of mariage (18) wasnt implimented until relitevly recently.

Is it right though? No.. everyone has a choice and raping a young girl or boy is still rape. If they cannot defend themselves or are aware of what is going on, or are forced into a mariage then how is that OK..

It does not matter if the person is acting out is sexual preferance, when your preferance includes the harm of another human being, then it is wrong to act on it.

If you have an impulse to shoot people does that mean we should accept it?

Paedophilia and in some ways homosexuality IMO is a psycholgical malfunction, disorder, whatever you want to call it.

Now homosecuality differs in that it is between CONSENTING ADULTS and therefore, while strange, Is far more easier to accept than Paedophilia.

There is NO excuse for Paedophilia whatsoever!!!!!

IT IS NOT A SEXUAL PREFERENCE!!!!!!

A sexual preference is someone who prefers one sex over another or enjoys using whips and chains in their sexual behavior, it is legal and not immoral.

Paedophilia is IMMORAL!!!!! PERIOD!!!!

No child can legally consent to sex nor should they ever!!!

IT IS CRIMINAL to have sex with a minor!!!!!

sometimes my stomach is turned by these questions.....

Originally posted by XphilesPhan
Paedophilia and in some ways homosexuality IMO is a psycholgical malfunction, disorder, whatever you want to call it.

Now homosecuality differs in that it is between CONSENTING ADULTS and therefore, while strange, Is far more easier to accept than Paedophilia.

Sometimes my stomach is turned by the ignorance about homosexuality. Do you have any validity for your statement that "homosexuality is a psychological malfunction"...? Oh, your opinion? If you can't even understand - or spell - homosexuality (you don't need to accept it), how can you even begin to understand paedophilia? To approach a problem you need to understand a problem.

Right time for my two penneth, These issues are about whats acceptable in a given society, in some a young girl becomes a woman when she has her first period and is seen as such and is able to marry etc. In Greek culture Homosexuality was a norm in that society. So what is normal in a society, well, it starts with the morals of the few dictating to the many, if for example we said, lets pick a current topic, its ok for women of 65 to 85 to have babies to many in society that seems wrong. The whole idea of men and women of that age having sex never mind babies is abhorrent to many, but why. If we enjoy longer and longer lives why should it be a problem.

In the UK we are still governed by victorian values, whilst our masters were laying down the moralty laws they were laying every woman they could. Society is about making rules but the problem is that the rules dont cater for all so no I dont agree with a man having sex with a minor in our society but I understand that in some culture/societies its acceptable. Is paedophilia a natural thing or is it abnormal I dont know but if a society practised it as a whole then it would be seen as normal would it not. In the UK every year there are a number of babies born with 6 fingers on each hand and the extra digits are always amputated because the norm is 5 on each hand is that normal or would we be all better off with 6 digits per hand.

Thank you for this very relavant and important question. It is in the interest of all children that this phycological problem is understood, because before you can find a cure, you must first recognise and understand the disease.

Disclaimer***

My views on sexuality is based on biblical values. I strongly believe that the liberalisation of sexual values is the root cause of at least 50% of all social problems, if not more! I do not believe that the acting out of this psycological problem in any way should be legalized or justified, and must be prevented at all costs. I am appauled by people here who wants to bring down the age of concent to 12, or even 8. I do not know of a single instance where any form of sexual interaction between a child and an adult had positive results for the child. All such children have enormous psycological problems for the rest of their lives.

***

I have very strong views on sexuality, exactly because I have this psycological problem. I never have and never will act out my problem, and I never will. I want to repeat this: I never have, and never will act out my problem in any way against a child. Still, I am well aware that of what I am about to say will not be accepted by some people, and I respectfully request that you will at least hear me out before responding.

Is this a "normal" sexual orientation, in the same way as homosexuality is regarded as a "normal" sexual orientation? From my own experience, I would say, if you take away all the moral issues, and awnser it from a purely psycological perspective, yes, it is, and for the following reasons:

1. Physical attraction. Physical attraction can probably be called an attraction to body proportions. The body proportions between men and women are different, and that's why you are attracted to the one or the other. But so too are the body proportions between adults and small children very different. I have found that I am attracted to small boys, but not to adults, male or female. Nothing is more beautiful to me that the figure of a small boy. Therefore, I believe it is a sexual attraction. I believe it is wrong for homosexuals to say that most p... are heterosexual. They're not heterosexual, they just haven't come out of the closet yet. Or, they're "heterosexual", because they're more likely to come in contact with children in a heterosexual relationship than a homosexual one. A p... is not heterosexual or homosexual, he (or she!!!) is a p... period.

2. Origin. Like with homosexuality, p... form from a very young age. For as long as I can remember, I've always cherished my childhood, and never wanted to loose it. (Before I continue, I was not abused as a child in anyway) I've always known that children (at least well behaved ones) have a very special place in the harts of adults, and I cherrished my position as a child in the social structure. While childhood gradually slipped away from me as I grew older, this fondness of childhood slowly moved to the third person, e.a. other children. I can remember that when I was as young as 9, I secretly liked a 6 year old boy. Ofcause, back then I had no knowledge of sexuality. The boy was cute to me, and that was it. I never made friends with him, though, and just admired him from a distance. By 11, I started teaching myself to draw children. As I entered my teenage years, my facination with preteen children increased. By now I knew about sex, but not about sexual attraction, as I felt none towards the girls my age. I thought love comes from a long, platonic relationship with a girl, and totally dismissed the idea of "love at first sight". I mean, how can you love someone you don't know? For this reason, I wasn't particularly interested in exploring my own sexuality. In fact, I first mas... at the age of 20, and only because I got fed up with the inconvenience you suffer at night if you don't. (...to be continued)

That was also the first time my fantacies with children became sexual. At first, I thought it's just a phase, and it would go away if I just let the fantacy play out in my mind. However, I quickly discovered that the more I allowed the fantacy to have free reign in my mind, the stronger the urges became, and I realized I have a MAJOR problem. Later on, I will write about how I went about fighting my sexuality, but for now, all I want to add, is my personal philosofy about sexual orientations. I believe you are born to have a capacity for sexual orientation, but I do not believe that it is fixed from birth. The Idea is proposterous: how can a fetus be a p...??? I believe your orientation begins to form at a very young age, and it only sexual once your sexuality forms in early puberty. I also believe that, although difficult, you CAN change your sexual orientation. I refuse to believe that the mind which can fight cancer with the placebo effect, cannot change its sexual orientation. However, since it took almost 20 years for your sexuality to form and develop, you shouldn't expect to be able to change it over night. It is only possible through patience and an iron will.

3. Feelings. I realised that the feelings guys describe when they're seeing a beautiful women, is exactly the same feelings I'm getting when seeing a little boy. Everyday I think about children. I often dream about them. I used to have many sexual dreams about them, but I made a determined effort to fight my orientation even in my dreams, and I have had positive results. I tend to avoid children, to the point that if they're in my way, I'd rather wait for them, than to nudge them out of my way. Occationally, though circumstances put me in the company of a child, and those are moments which I cherrish, even if we've only talked for a minute. I've read in a book that active p... who formed a long term relationship with children, shows all the signs of being in love, and frankly, that is easy for me to imagine. P... often have a loving relationship with their victim and do all kinds of things a normal person would do to treat their partner in a relationship. They are not only driven by physical lust, but also emotional attraction. They worship the ground their victim walks on. It is not their intension to hurt or dominate the child, however, whether they like to believe it or not, they are harming the child. If it was not for my strong principles, I would've been able to stongly assosiate with all of this, but I love children. I love them enough to put their interests above my own selfish desires.

4. Hard to change. People say homosexuals can't change. They also say P... can't change. I can't afford myself the luxury to actually believe this crap. Like I've already said, I believe it is hard to change, but anyone who is determined enough, can change.

5. What it is not. P... is nothing more than a sexual orientation. In every other way, I live a normal, well adjusted life. I can tell right from wrong, I have a conscience - a very strong one, I might add - , I'm not a sexual predator or addict. Yes, rarely, in a moment of weakness, I would indulge in a mental fantacy, but will always feel guilty afterwards and recommit myself not to do that again. But, because I'm so very strict with myself, I know that I am in control, and a child would be save with me. Just like a heterosexual person can have a platonic relationship with a person from the oposite sex, so too am I perfectly capable to control my sexuality in the company of children. Even so, I remain extremely paranoid that any fondness of children might reveal my problem, and Ive build up an instictive avoidance of them.

From the above, I can see no reason why p..., from a purely psycological perspective, is not a sexual orientation like any other. The question I ask myself is why people refuse to accept this, and I believe I have the awnser.

(...to be continued)

If we accept that p... is, in fact, similar to homosexuality in every way, exept for the object of attraction, that will raise some serious questions around the arguements of liberal sexual values, and gay people in particular. Arguements such as "it is unhealthy to suppress your sexuality". "Homosexuality should be accepted, because homosexuals can't change", etc, etc.

Let me return to my believes on sex for a while. I believe every child has the right to be born in a loving family, where one of the parents is available to tend to it, and where parents are commited to love each other. This should be the rule, not the exception, and whenever parents move away from this rule, social problems start occuring. The problem is, these problems develop over decades, even generations, and therefore, it is difficult to notice them, or identify their origin. Therefore, sex should ONLY happen between two married people of the oposite sex, who are commited to each other for life. Sex is sacred, and should be treated as such. But, in the 60's these values deteriated. Heterosexuals started breaking all the rules, and the result was unwanted children, dysfunctional families, skyrocketing divorce rates and pregnant children. It is important to notice that the gay community only demanded equal rights AFTER heterosexual people have abandoned the institution of the family. But, since heterosexual people, the gaurdians of the family, has abandoned moral sex, the road for gay people was open to break it down even further, as the guiding principle was no longer the family, but your own desires. I mean, why should gay people be held to heterosexual rules, when heterosexual people themselves breaks them left right and center??? And this brings me to my main point. I've always suspected this, and I have received confirmation about this on the internet. P... leans very heavily on the gay rights movement to justify their own actions. Just like homosexuals manage to deny that the Bible says what it very clearly says about homosexuality, so too p... find a way to believe their actions is not harmfull to children, and even beneficial. People will believe what they want to believe. If you're a p..., and you do not believe sex is harmfull in children, and you live in a society where the norm is to express your sexuality, and that all sexual orientations are valid.... what can I say? 1+1=2. I have no doubt that much more p... will live our their orientation in a sexually liberal society, than in a society where God's rules apply to everyone. It is much easier to suppress your sexuality when fed with the message "sex belong in marraige" than when you are fed with the message of "if it feels good, do it!". I have no doubt that children are the greatest victim of all this sexual liberalism, in more ways than one. It would be interesting to see what people make of this. My guess is that many people will refuse acknowledge this, because to acknowledge this requires you to reexamine how you live out your own sexuality. It's very easy to expect selibacy from p... (which is right and possible), but how many are willing to practice what they preach to others? Be careful here. If you where a p..., would you have the moral fibre to do what is right? Hmm?

What should we do now? Yes, I totally agree that practicing p... should be locked up, and the key thrown away. I totally understand peoples hatred towards p.... In fact, if I wasn't one myself, I probably would've condemned all p.. out of hand myself. I do not see how anyone can have empathy for even p... who doesn't live it out, not to mention those who do. I say this dispite myself. But it must also be acknowledged that doing all this is only treating the symptoms, and not the cause. P... is a fact of life, and we need to deal with it preemptively, before children gets hurt. When we talk about sexuality, and we discuss right from wrong, we must stop argueing as if there are only two sexualities. (ToBeContinued)

Thoughtless arguements to justify immoral heterosexual and homosexual behaviour is adopted unaltered by the p... community. Yes, that doesn't make their arguements true, but ultimately, but it is the children that suffer because of these arguements. Also, p... must be acknowledged as people with a problem, not is monsters who do not even need concideration when sexuality is discussed. If it is difficult for a homosexual to come out of the closit, imagine the mental torment suffered by someone who discoveres they're a p...! Where does he turn to for help? To whom can he talk to who understand? What does he do with this problem? Society acts as if it doesn't exist, but they're angry when it shows its ugly head! If he does not have my moral fibre, he will probably end up reading p... material, and he will believe the propaganda. Once he no longer believes p... is harmfull, what will stop him from acting it out? What am I'm saying? Should't avenues for help be created for these people BEFORE it is too late? There should be a lot more literature on this subject to inform people about it, and to tell them where to get help. I believe that by far the most p... suffer in silence, and never act out. I am convinced those who do, are but the tip of the iceberg. Trust me, it takes enourmous courage to talk about this. I do it here because I believe my message need to be heard, but I do it at enourmous risk to myself.

I will conclude with how I fought, and is still fighting to change my sexuality. This is the golden rule: if you going to draw the line at the cliff, you will fall off. Everybody steps over their lines, so make sure your line is at a save distance. That save distance is in the mind. I do not even allow myself to entertain my sexual fantacies in my mind, and I force myself to have heterosexual fantacies. I must be careful not to only view women as sexual objects, but as people too. Your sexual development does not begin with sex, that's where it end. You literally have to build it up from scratch, just like a boy who notices the pretty eyes of a girl, without knowing that this is the beginning of his sexual attraction to the oposite sex. Even in my dreams, I must be determined to do what is right. If you allow the fantacies time, you will increase the urges. The stronger the urges, the more likely you are to act out. You have to stop the decent to immorality where it begins : in the mind. When I walk past a boy, I have to take special care not to allow my attraction to dictate my reaction. That does not only imply that I should not look at him, it also imply's that I shouldn't look away either. In other words, act as if he is someone you're not attracted to. If you walked away from him, don't change direction because of him. If you walked towards him, don't change dirrection either. Trust me, THAT is difficult. I've spend a fortune on hipnotheropy every second week for a year, and I've completely opened up to the therapist. I forced myself to admit and remember things to him that I never wanted to admit to myself. I really went out of my way to to discover every last bone I've got hidden in my closit. I'm not cured yet, but I'm much better than I used to be. So much so that sexual thoughts about children are very rare, and is no longer instantly arousing. Fantacies about women are somewhat arrousing. My p... problem is no longer a major obsticle in my life, but I still do have a long way to go, and I feel sad that I've not only been robbed of the opertunity to have a soulmate, but also children. I believe I would've been a great dad, but it seems a batchelor live is my fate.

So help me God, I will change my orientation, or I will die fighting. And one day, when I'll be with my Maker, he will cleanse my soul from my sinful nature, and I will at last be free of this problem. It is not easy, God knows it is not easy, but the alternative is too horrible to contemplate.

(to be continued)

If you believe that my message is worth hearing, please tell people about it. P... exists, it is a real problem, and it is not going to go away if we stick our head in the ground about it. I wish I had that option, but unfortutely, I don't. I have, however, gained a valueble insight into how p... think, and I believe it to be my calling in life to share that knowledge, so that hopefully, oneday someone can find a cure for people like me.

Originally posted by des082
If you believe that my message is worth hearing, please tell people about it. P... exists, it is a real problem, and it is not going to go away if we stick our head in the ground about it. I wish I had that option, but unfortutely, I don't. I have, however, gained a valueble insight into how p... think, and I believe it to be my calling in life to share that knowledge, so that hopefully, oneday someone can find a cure for people like me.

What a read. And really worth it. I suggest everyone should take the time, and get some insight and deny ignorance.

First, hats of for admitting your problem and trying to help others understand the issue.

And that's the key. Understanding the problem, before you can find a solution. And I think you raise a very important point when it comes to paedophilia. Society is re-active at the moment, and not pro-active. Society only reacts after the harm was done. We can't even begin to guess the amount of paedophiles (which can be male or female) and it must be complete and utter torture to struggle with it on your own. Knowing that the villagers would drag you to the gates of the town, and stone you, should they find out about your secret. You must lead a very lonely life, especially if you have to carry your cross in secret.

However, as little as I agree with the act of paedophilia, just as little do I agree with "brainwashing". Hypnotherapy or "anti-issue" psychological programming is just covering up the problem (or any psychological problem for that matter), and not really creating a solution or healing. But at the moment that is the only "solution" to the problem, so I guess that'll have to do for now. But that just tells us that there is a need for studies in this direction. Define the problem. Define the cause of the problem. Find a solution or solutions. This is of course easier said than done, and it will be for as long as paedophiles are seen as monsters, and not human beings with a problem. When society hears "paedophile" they immediately want to kill out of hate. They don't want to help.

On a side note – why do you avoid the use of the word, paedophile?

Thank you for your point of view Des082, and good luck with your struggles. From where I'm standing you are part of the solution, not the problem.

Thanks for the remarks. Please be sure to keep it in mind next time issues of sexuality is debated.

As to your question, I'm typing from the office, so I need to be careful. I pretty much made peace with my own struggles. The real torture is that I'm carrying a message the world must hear, but that very same message can lead to my own destruction. It's a horrible position to be in, aspecially when the issue of "sexual rights" come into question. I want to speak up, but I can't. Fortunately, there are ways, such as this forum, where I can make my position known annonemously. Hopefully, one day, I'll find the courage to publish a book about it.

regards

I have been thinking about this thread in light of the recent scandal involving Mark Foley and the school shooting tragedy in Pennsylvania.

The thread title questions whether or not pedophilia is a sexual preference and I would have to answer yes in a strict sense, because it is undeniable that some adults prefer sex with children. I think there is enough evidence of that, along with confessions by offenders to that effect.

Perhaps the better question is whether or not pedophilia is a sexual orientation. The DSM IV lists it as a paraphilia.

Paraphilias are sexual feelings or behaviors that may involve sexual partners that are not human, not consenting, or that involve suffering by one or both partners.

www.minddisorders.com...

Merriam-Webster describes it thusly:

a pattern of recurring sexually arousing mental imagery or behavior that involves unusual and especially socially unacceptable sexual practices (as sadism or pedophilia)

www.m-w.com...

Given these definitions, certainly it would seem so. Certain people seem to be driven to act out sexually with persons and things that are socially unacceptable or harmful to themselves and others.

Mark Foley's case is not a case of true pedophilia, the DSM defining it in this manner.

Pedophilia involves sexual activity with a child, generally under age 13. The DSM-IV-TR describes a criterion that the individual with pedophilia be over 16 years of age and be at least five years older than the child. Individuals with this disorder may be attracted to either males or females or both, although incidents of pedophilic activity are almost twice as likely to be repeated by those individuals attracted to males. Individuals with this disorder develop procedures and strategies for gaining access to and trust of children.

www.minddisorders.com...

But, clearly his predilection for under-aged males is going to be the source of much pain and suffering before it all shakes out.

In the case of the individual who killed the young Amish girls in Pennsylvania, he was, according to his suicide note, suffering from the guilt of molesting young family members in his youth and was plagued by the desire to commit such acts again. He went to the school house with the paraphernalia one would associate with such intent.

The fact is that we are all attracted to people we should not be. We are either married ourselves or the object of our desire is. We are either too young or too old, regardless of the age of the desired. Regardless of our inner drives, society expects us to restrain ourselves in such a manner that order can be maintained.

Many sexual barriers are being torn down in our progressive society, but one barrier seems to be unassailable and that is the one of consent. As long as the law provides for a minimum age of consent, this barrier will remain and as long as society respects the right of consent and the innocence of youth, there will be laws preventing sexual activity with children.

The recent cases of abuse make these points all too clear.


[edit on 2006/10/6 by GradyPhilpott]

I'd like to state something.

Now I still believe that the consent ages should be the ones I've
previ-ously stated, however it should be noted that sexual inter-
course (man/boy), is physically possible without causing physical
damage, as for mental, I honestly don't know.

And no I will not be posting the source of said material, as I have
reported the site to the Missing & Exploited Chldrens website for
child pornography, as it contained many illegal (even by my
standards) acts on it.

[edit on 10/6/2006 by iori_komei]

I was just skimming through the "best of social issues' when i came upon this thread. I skimmed through it and then slap-bang-wallop there is Des082.

Mind blowing stuff, I'm completely blown away and if Des082 is still out there somewhere I would very much like to hear from you U2U or in thread whichever you are most comfortable with, your honesty is inspirational and I hope that should you ever feel the need to act on your desires that you can come to this forum and recieve the support and encouragement you need to overcome those desires. You have my respect and admiration. I hope you don't mind but I intend to print off your posts and study them in detail, as I have never come across such a frank account and I can learn much from you.

Almost all of us have the ability to choose good over evil. Even the psychopath can choose a path that doesn't involve violence, many successful individuals exhibit psychopathic (or sociopathic) tendencies without manifest cruelty to others, they simply direct their energies more positively. Major brain disfunction or damage can impede our ability to make rational decisions or have control over our base instincts, but by and by any act that harms another living being in any way is a choice and Des082 has demonstrated that most eloquently in his posts.

Paedophillia generally has its roots in the individuals psycho-sexual development. It is most definately not something that one is born with, it is something that develops over time. I would be most interested to go into greater detail with Des082 about his early development, but one would presume that there were factors in his upbringing that made it difficult for him to relate to adults and/or children his own age.

The development of his sexual attraction to young boys almost seems co-incidental, the important factor being his desire to be with young boys and his setting of boys of a certain age as an 'ideal' of beauty and innocence. The desire to possess that became sexual through a need to relieve sexual tension and the role of fantasy I should imagine becomes integral to the cycle.

The age range is vitally important, paedophilliacs are most likely to be attracted to an age range that is relational to the point in their own development that is 'arrested'.

I have long felt that if paedophillia was classified as an illness we would be able to help those that are afflicted. Although Des082 has managed to retain control and understand that he has the choice, many out there are not so strong-willed. He says himself that it takes enormous willpower at times. It is a much misunderstood affliction and the majority of those who do suffer from it never act upon it, but carry that burden with them always. While it is treated as an abhorrence we have no hope of helping individuals like Des082 and awarding them with the support that they need.

Excellent thread, a real revelation, highly informative, not sure who started it, but many thanks.

While I firmly believe that this is a relevant topic for Social Issues, there have been problems in the past regarding these discussions, such that the T&C was amended to include a prohibition of discussions of sex with minors:

2e.) Illegal Activity: Discussion of any illegal activities such as drug use, drug paraphernalia, hacking, sexual relations with minors, etc. are strictly forbidden.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

I feel certain that the moderator staff will offer some direction regarding this matter.

Originally posted by GradyPhilpott
While I firmly believe that this is a relevant topic for Social Issues, there have been problems in the past regarding these discussions, such that the T&C was amended to include a prohibition of discussions of sex with minors:

2e.) Illegal Activity: Discussion of any illegal activities such as drug use, drug paraphernalia, hacking, sexual relations with minors, etc. are strictly forbidden.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

I feel certain that the moderator staff will offer some direction regarding this matter.

But would that not mean you are not to talk about experiences doing it,
and honestly who in there right mind would actually admit ot that, or
planning on doing it?

I do not think this topic violates that aspect of the T&C, but I will wait
and see what the staff decides.