posted on Nov, 5 2003 @ 09:33 AM
When I was a young girl I would lie in the grass and stare into the evening sky for hours, watching the moon and stars take the place of the sun in
the night sky. It always amazed me and gve me a great feeling of comfort knowing that heaven was up there and God was there staring back at me. Truth
and trust could be seen for miles and miles across the sky, prayers were given into the sky, everything magical and all the answers to life were
there. But one day the sky changed and the innocent child-like envisions and magic became deception and darkness.
The third door is a a metaphor I've used over the years, yet it is an 'actual' doorway I've indescretely placed inside my mind to shut out the
forbidden knowledge that isn't taught in your history books or through your heros and teachers. Behind the door is the chaos and traumas one might
see and deal with over long periods of time. For me, it has also become a realm to another world, perhaps even another time.The door remained locked
and bypassed, but for the moment I open it to you..
I was around 7 or 8 when my first visitation came. It seemed almost like a dreamy state of mind and family chalked it up to nightmares and even I
myself grew to believe this over the years. The experiences never seemed life threatening and most of the time I returned knowing things that amazed
the people around me. Looking back tough I realize that those were the chosen memories given to me, not my own free will.
The unchosen memories are the ones hiding and taunting my own sanity behind the door.
My last visitation might be considered one of the worst and most traumatic, maybe because I was older and more aware, or maybe they chose to show me
more of what goes on behind the door?
I was in bed drifting off to sleep, I could hear whispers all around me, closing in and therfore becoming more like strange voices foreign to my ears.
There was a sound of static that followed close behind the voices which also grew louder and more chilling to my very soul. I dare not open my eyes at
this point for the shere fear of seeing the faces giving off these eerie sounds. I felt cold and stiff throughout my body and could sense I was no
longer in my warm and comforting bed. I also could no longer feel the clothes that protected my naked skin from the cold and wet touch of fingers
gliding over my stomach and chest. I felt a warm liquid ooze over my stomach near my bellybutton and it soothed me for the moment and also seemed to
warm my entire body temperature to the point of sweating or feeling like my blood and skin was boiling hot. My entire stomach became numb, yet I could
feel a strange sensation there that didn't seem to belong.I tried to speak or cry out as the sensation grew more painful but my mouth was inoperable,
almost as though it were sealed shut. I could hear my own voice inside myself moaning to the terror of all that was happening to my body. I don't
think I was able to deal with it any longer so I prayed and begged inside my mind for God to help me out of this situation. Everything became silent
and I felt very light as though I was floating or hanging by invisible strings in thin air. There was a peace and calmness that came over me and I
could now open my eyes and see that I was floating above a beautiful place a place unbeknown to me in this world..a place where a great feeling of
serenity and protection was all around me, every direction I looked in gave me the sensation that I was free but guided. I don't recall the time
between the two opposing experiences and the time I actually awoke back in my bed. But it seeemed like forever from begining to end.
I stopped having those nightmares for a while and this gave me again the reassurance and trust of my world around me that had once collapsed before me
so many years ago. I began to see and feel the magic again but not to the extent I had when I was an innocent. I acknowledged the fact that there were
stories and sightings through others' much like myself..but never took it any further then that.
Sometimes there is a certain glance given by a passing stranger of a shared experience between two people who might never openly discuss what hides
behind the glance. But it invokes a great sense of feeling that we aren't always alone in some of the things life sometimes chooses to show to us.
Everyone has secrets and everyone has nightmares. Most of us live with these inside of us our entire life and some are able to share their stories
with the world. Some are laughed at and ridiculed beyond disbelief or are hushed by a power greater then oneself..everyone has a story be it dark or
light or a combination of the two. My story has never been told before today and it is up to the reader to decide if it's fact or fiction. I am
helpless to provide proof to those who cannot relate, but hopeful to provide reassurance to to those who can..
My third door now closes and remains shut..but never locked