Possibly the Funniest Police Report: The arrest of Alfred Stevens

Read what led investigators to charge Stevens with animal cruelty, weapons possession, and trespassing:

The suspect was nude and contacted as he attempted to leave the stable. In his possession he had a revolver, a rope, a flashlight, olive oil, graid feed, and salt. He denied having or attempting to have sex with the animals.

Using a flashlight and night vision goggles (NVGs) I began my search of the area.

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As I examined the area with NVGs I heard the animals making noises within the corrals.
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After a short time I decided to check the horse and lamb stables with the NVGs. I observed a subject walking around the horses and the lambs. Through the NVGs it appeared the subject was wearing a skin tight white suit.

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We then observed him perched up on the fence with his body positioned so his pelvic area was pushed forward in the horses's face.

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At that time I heard some rusltling and the animals were spooked.

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The subject then appeared to be petting the lambs.

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The subject then appeared to be behind the ewe and then we heard rhythmic thumping sounds, like something hitting the fence at repeated intervals. My initial impression was that he was having sex with the sheep. That went on for approximately thirthy seconds to a minute. At the time Deputy McCarthy and I were unsure exactly what the subject was doing. Both of us commented that it looked as if he was having sex with one of the lambs. It should be noted that the night was slightly foggy and the NGVs were not perfectly clear and we were approximately 40 to 50 yeards from the subject. At that point the subject ran...

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It should be noted that the subject's body was slightly damp and it appeared that his groin area was a reddish color.

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Stevens said it has been a fantasy of his to get naked with animals and tie himself up to a fence with a rope around his neck. :shk:

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When I exited the interview room I met with Deputy McCarthy who told me Ranger Jones had checked the animals. He said he was unable to tell if they were sexually assaulted, however, Ranger Jones noted that one of the ewe's anal area was abnormally shiny as if it had been wet with oil or something similar. Ranger Jones also stated that the animals in the corral had been noticeably skittish as of late.