Owning A Time Machine - Think Of The Possibilities!

Man, I'd love a time machine! Think of the possibilities!
I could eat and drink likes it's Thanksgiving every day, to the point that my stomach feels like it's about to explode, then crawl into that machine and POOF - go back in time an hour or so, and everything is good!
Or when I forget my wifes birthday - just stroll into that good old machine - while she's yelling at you of course - set it back a couple of hours, that way you can have a couple of beers before you go home to make her ranting and raving less painful. Man that's good stuff!
Oh man, how's this for good. When the dog has an "accident" on the rug - yep, just ease on into that good old machine, and set it back a little bit. That way you can get out of the house beforehand so you don't have to clean it up! Now that's a useful application.
Oh wait, I just thought of something even better. When that jerk in the BMW cuts you off big time on the highway, get into "Old Timey" and set it back. Wait 'till that bonehead tries to cut you off this time!
Hey do you think that thing will have a remote control so I don't have to move out of my chair? Now there's an idea!

Well I was doin' some more thinkin'. You know what, I said to myself, it would really be cool when you have to go to a huge outdoor party for your loser brother in law. Yep, you know it - set that machine back long enough so that you can make sure that it is scheduled for the worst rainy day of the year!
Man, do I wish I had a time machine!

So I'm sittin' here doin' some more thinkin', and I says to myself, man if I only had that time machine I could go back and buy a case of beer when it was just a buck, or a pack of smokes when they were 50 cents a pack. Dang I wish I had that time machine.
Wait! I just had another thought, man I'm doin' some good thinkin' today. If I had that good ole time machine I could set it back a little bit that way I could eat the chocolate chip cookies my wife baked while it was still dough.

Man I wish someone would invent that time machine already!

Like, you could make a lot of money off of the markets, too.

You could go back in time before crude oil prices went insane, and then you could buy futures, and then come back to the present and sell them! Let's see, back before the prices went crazy was . . .

September 10, 2001 . . .

Oops. Looks like someone else has a time machine, too!



.

So, I'm sitting here doing some more thinkin'. If I had a time machine, I could really save alot of money on my grocery bill. I could go to the store and buy all kinds of cool food and stuff. Then when I use everything up, yep you know it, I'd get into that time machine and go back a little bit, and MAN, my fridge would be full again. Man that's good stuff!

C'mon - can't someone invent that thing yet?!

I got to do some more thinkin'.

With a time machine, i'd go back in time to the primordial stages of earth's history and jumpstart evolution into the microbial stage.

Thus, when people bicker in BTS about "Oh, evolution dosen't exist" or "creationism dosen't exist" i'd upload video evidence of me donating blood. Into a primordial ceespool.

Think of the money i'd get? "Oh, i just created LIFE AS WE KNOW IT"

I think I'd bring a late 1800's southern preacher into the modern day and take him to all the local night clubs and stip joints just to see the reaction of someone who thought saloons in his day were evil and too racy for society LOL.

Then I'd do some serious futures investing, and make sure Bush wasnt elected in 2000.

Originally posted by mindlessinsanity
With a time machine, i'd go back in time to the primordial stages of earth's history and jumpstart evolution into the microbial stage.

Thus, when people bicker in BTS about "Oh, evolution dosen't exist" or "creationism dosen't exist" i'd upload video evidence of me donating blood. Into a primordial ceespool.

Think of the money i'd get? "Oh, i just created LIFE AS WE KNOW IT"

Man, that is some good thinkin'! With this kind of thinkin', LIFE AS WE KNOW IT, would have an entire planet of geniuses.

So I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'. So I says to myself, man you know what would be great - If I'm sittin' there drinkin' some ice cold beers, and they get warm....
Yep, whip out that time machine, set it back a little bit, and BAM, nice cold beer.

Man, I amaze even myself sometimes.....

I just can't stop thinkin'!
So I says to myself, I'm really hungry, I'd really like to order a pizza, but I spent all my money at the local bar. Oh man, I would ease on into that time machine, set it back a little bit, and not leave that nice tip to the bartender I left. Pizza problem solved!
Pure genius!

C'mon, someone invent that time machine!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'. Hmmmm I says to myself, you know what really be great? If someone gives you a present you don't like for the holidays, like a pair of socks, you just fire up that time machine, and set it back a little while and tell that person "Man, I hope no one ever buys me a pair of socks - that's a really bad present." Now how's that for useful?! Oh man that is some deep thinkin'!

So I'm sittin' here, and I decided to do some thinkin' about how cool that time machine would be. Now how's this for some good thinkin'? You know how when you're in the car, and there's a really cool song on the radio, the kind of song that makes you want to be drivin? And when that song is over, you can never find one as good. Well plug that time machine into the cigarette lighter, set it back a minute ot two, and you can listen to that song again! That's one useful idea!

I really want a time machine!

Well, with a time machine one can create a temporal rift in the space-time.

Say, for example, if one went back in time and became his own grandpa.

Originally posted by mindlessinsanity

Well, with a time machine one can create a temporal rift in the space-time.

Say, for example, if one went back in time and became his own grandpa.

Now that's some deep thinkin'! So if I went back and became my own grandpa, I wouldn't get 5 bucks in my birthday card every year? No I don't like that kind of thinkin'.

Originally posted by mindlessinsanity

Well, with a time machine one can create a temporal rift in the space-time.

Say, for example, if one went back in time and became his own grandpa.

Just like fry on futurama ey mindless?

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some more thinkin, and I was eatin' a banana. That banana had a big brown spot on it. I don't like the brown parts. So I was thinkin' If I had a time machine, I could fire it up, and go back in time a little bit before there were any brown spots on that banana.
Man havin' a time machine would be so cool!

Then I did some more thinkin', and I thought gotta be careful with that time machine though. If I went back too far, that banana would still be green, and that's not so good. I would need to buy a big fancy calculator, so I could figure out how far to go back. Then I did even some more good thinkin'! When someone invents that time machine, they should build a calculator right into it, that way you don't have to buy that calculator. Now that's some good thinkin'!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'.....
If you were watching your favorite game, and there is an awesome play, you could just slide on into that time machine, set it back a little bit, and you could watch that play again. Man I am good!

Oh wait! Oh man this is some good thinkin'! If you're sittin' there eatin' and stuff, and someone you don't like calls on the phone, like your loser brother in law, or a telemarketer, you can just flip that time machine on, go back a couple of minutes, and now you know not to answer that phone!

Now that's some good thinkin'!

OK, so I'm doin' some real good thinkin'.........
So if you get fired from your job because your boss doesn't appreciate some good thinkin', well you just pull out that time machine from under your desk, go back a couple minutes, and you can go in and quit! I bet that boss would be so surprised. Now how's that for some good thinkin'?

Oh man wait! I amaze myself sometimes 'cause I do such good thinkin'!
If you're watchin' TV, and President Bush comes on and interupts, so he can give a speech on every channel, well you just click that time machine on, and set it forward a couple of minutes, and you can watch your shows! Heck, I already know what he's going to say, something about terror, and nucular stuff........

Man, having a time machine would be so cool!

So, I'm sittin' here doin' some more thinkin'.
When your car breaks down, you could plug that time machine into the cigarette lighter, and flip it back a little bit, that way you could switch cars with your wife in the morning. Now there's some good thinkin'!

So I'm sittin' here doin' some more thinkin'..........
If you have a box of chocolates, and you pick one of the ones that has that icky stuff inside. You just turn on that time machine, set it back, and make sure someone else gets that piece! Now that is some darn good thinkin'!

Oh man, now here's some amazin' thinkin'!
When you go to the zoo, and you see the monkeys flingin' some doo-doo. Well you just flip on that time machine, set it back, and make sure that your loser brother in law is standin' in the exact spot where that doo-doo lands.

Oh man, I really need that time machine!