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Originally posted by psyopswatcher
You're welcome, Tunin. What do you see that you should do?
Was that a blood clot in your brain when you were seven? How on earth did that happen? An accicent? Sports injury? Fall out of a tree? Coconut hit you? My imagination runs wild...
The overall estimated incidence (annual occurrence) of deep venous thrombosis is 1 episode for every 1000 persons.
I don't think there's anything stupid about your reasons... You should talk to your sister, there may be ways to work around it.
Just going on my intuition, I would say that your despair coincides with a frustration you feel for not being able to access the areas you feel blocked off from. That they are blocked off, they are 'darkness' to you. Yes, you know they are there, the future is always dark and mysterious.
Tunin, you are a most articulate young person and talking out these troubles is an excellent way of going about dispelling them. Or at least a step in managing how you react and how you allow them to affect you. It's also very natural and instinctive.
Training yourself to research is also one of the best steps you can take. It's what we do to deny ignorance. Sifting thru the results and discerning what to keep and what (babies) to throw out (with the bath water) are attributes that you will develop as you gain in knowledge.
Eighteen is a pretty exciting age to be. Are you going off to school soon?
Now Imagine you with 7 years old, everyone crying around you because they don't know what you have. You, scarred as hell, afterall you have no idea what's gonna happen, you just want to watch saint seiya and go home play video-game with your twin brother.
That's exactely how I felt.
Is it possible that that's the 'umbelical' you are having a problem with? Twins being very close in many senses, that might be be something to consider when you are trying to close off these feelings.
I don't think it may be such a bad thing. Twins have a very special connection that you can use to your advantage in life as only you can see how it would affect your needs--staying connected and becoming independent (autonomous).
Perhaps your own memories of that time (at seven) are sympathetic to how he may have been feeling about the possibility of losing you?