Remarkably nice flow, Lightseeker...you did say you welcomed critiques, so here goes...
I stand and gaze on a blue
and sunlit sea the sand
warm beneath my feet the
breeze gentle as a
soft hand caressing my
face it’s fingers brushing
my hair lovingly as
father would a child
I breathe deep
In the first verse, I was immediately struck by the way you constructed the line breaks. ie., from 'blue' to 'and', 'the' to 'breeze', etc.
This gave the verse a beat.
Also, the words fit nicely together, and 'flow' from the tongue. ie., 'stand and gaze on a blue'. If you say it aloud, you'll see what I mean.
Some words fit well together, such as 'salty spray' or 'windshield washers slapping time', while others, such as 'crunchy halves' or 'racing
for instant' don't. It has to do with the tongue needing to rearrange itself in the latter, while the former needs little tongue movement. I believe
it's the reason why some love 'tongue twisters'. I believe you already have come to understand why flow is important.
The smell of salt and
spray calls to me it speaks
of mysteries - ancient
stories lost in it’s depths
the sound of wave and
foam on rock and beach
become the voice of the One
who spoke this ocean and
I into being
I felt that the second line; 'spray calls to me it speaks" needed a break of sorts, whether a comma or line break doesn't matter, really, since the
'flow is still unbroken. I would have used the singular 'mystery', rather than the plural, even though you mention 'ancient stories'...but that
is a personal affliction of mine.
I especially enjoyed 'the sound of wave [singular (as in 'mystery')] and foam (s) on rock(s) and beach(s)'
I know such peace as
cannot be known ‘til heaven
claims me the peace of
child reunited with Father
the comfort of eternal arms
enfolding uplifting me
exchanging strength for weakness
joy for pain
I found this the most difficult verse. It begins with a puzzle for me...if you 'know such peace' and afterwards say 'as cannot be known', I'm
immediately tossed on stormy seas. I understand what you are conveying, though, it comes across very clearly.
Perhaps, if you said 'I shall
know such peace', the difficulty passes away immediately.
All in all, an excellent bit of work.