posted on Aug, 22 2006 @ 09:06 PM
Well, I'm working on 1 AM and the night is still young.
I've managed to go through 11 Ale 8 bottles, 3 cereals bowls and two movies so far.
Those movies being Garden State, of course, and the very defination of a chick flick, A Walk to Remember. While Garden State satisfied the humor that
I so dearly craved, A Walk to Remember connected the feelings, er, lack there of, that I am seeking for my mind in which after doing so I have aquired
a mood to which is enlightning.
Still, I feel like a rubble of old memories and dreams that I so eagerly wish to accomplish, I come to realize that we are alone.
Desolate. People that we live our lives with are so cought in appearance, impressions, trivia, games, popularity, and small clicks within society that
we forget to stop and cherish the things that we should really be spending our time on. Our loved ones, goals, wishes, farfetched hopes and dreams,
art, creativity and the list just keeps unravelling.
So many of the people today in our society never actually appreciate the beauties of today, but yet they take them for granted.
And oh, must we not forget how one perceives themselves. Self image...the very reason that people strive to look the best that they can in order to
appeal to the average public. Society, more teens than others, tend to forget why they even do so, dress up that is. For me, I would like to think of
it as a personal self respect. I look at myself in the mirror, and what do I see? I ask myself that question at this very moment and come up with
nothing more than a sad answer.
I see a 19 year old guy that has done a numerous amount of illegal things, has lied to a many number of people, stolen, gotten angry of the slightest
mishaps, and has nothing to show for his time than a piano, a computer, a few drawings and a # load of video games.
Now, I know you may be thinking that I'm only 19...so what? Am I not to excel in anything by this age? Do I have plan for the next 4 years? Once
I'm out of college. No. I have been kidding myself these past few years into thinking that I'm an exception to the rule. Special...which is not the
case. Think about it...I mean really, reflect on your life, what you've done, what you plan to do, tell me what is so special about it? Nothing.
Nothing at all.
There are over 6 billion people in this world. 6 billion. Take one person out of that number: 1/6,000,000,000. Tell me what's so special about that?
Because I live makes me special? No, no it doesn't. In 60 years, I will die. It is a fact that I will leave this earth and only leave behind a mere
figment of a memory to those we were close to me. And then, once they fade, nothing will be left of my existance than a few photos that may or nay not
still be around.
So let me ask you this question, and after I ask you this question, I want you to think long about it, go look at your image in the mirror. Don't
just see your reflection and focus on your physical apperance as you normally do every day, but get close, gaze into your own soul, and tell me what
it is that you are going to do today, tomorrow, or everyday for the rest of your short life, to get all there is out of life, and to live it to its
Strive for what isn't thought capible, reach out to those who are close to you and tell them thanks for being near you, and tell your parents thanks.
I know, I know, it sounds stupid, but just tell them thanks for taking care of you.
Because, whether you realize it or not, after all of your friends have left you, after you have finished high school, college, and so forth, who is
the one couple of people that even though may not show it all the time, have always cared for you and cared for your success? Your parents. The people
that brought you into this world. Now, earlier I said that we are alone and desolate, but only because in order to achieve anything we must first lose
everything. Meaning, we are closed off to the world around us.
Caught up in meaningless things. Go outside, take a deep breath, listen to the insects, the animals, the air brushing up against the trees, the
swaying of the grass, and the sunlight that shines down upon this earth. Take your hand, and place it over your heart, and feel your own heart
Know that you are living, and not just existing. Once you can forget about apperance, magazine taught beauty, and look around you and see real beauty
in everything that is in sight, you've taken the first step to living a better life. A real life. One with meaning. So rest on it, take some time
alone, lay down on your bed and get lost in your mind. Get to know yourself.
Get to know your parents. Be proud of your body and the way it is. Don't be scared of it, or what other people think if it, it's the greatest
instrument you'll ever own. Don't get caught up in the superficial things, but cherish everything. And love. Learn to grok. Grok, meaning to
completly be accepted.
To become one. And to live...not just exist.
[edit on 22-8-2006 by CalmStateOfMind]
[edit on 23-8-2006 by asala]