A grave, underlooked threat. [SATIRE]

Iran's messing around with nuclear technologies, as is North Korea.

Korea, however, is near the Sea of Japan.

You may as well remember the horrors that nuclear weapons "supposedly" created in the nuclear tests. I'm not going to name names, but the threat i'm talking about is Godzilla.

Eventually things are going to become so chaotic around the world that something horrible will be awoken from the depths of the thawing ice in the North Pole.
This thing, "Godzilla", has been shown in the past to have severe anger issues towards any standing building in his vicinity, and sometimes the lone gargantuan moth or weird smog thing.

I call that the government should expend billions in a paranoid fear about a giant fictional monster that proves a possible threat to National Security.

Yet we can use Godzilla to our advantage, fighting terrorists in Iran and their undeniable and possible threat of nuclear weapons.

The plan goes as follows:
1. Nuke the north pole at key strategic points, namely, everywhere.
2. Lead the horrible monster awoken from the nuclear assault with our armed forces across russia and china and other anti-jesus lands towards Iran in a horrific path of destruction the likes of which no horror writer can describe.
3. Let it fight Iran and win; because everyone knows for a fact nothing can stop Godzilla.
Exit Strategy:
4. Crap. Should have really thought on this one.

The current budget projected for this plan against the Terrorists is nearly 2.6 Trillion.


Think about it. America needs giant irradiated tyrannosauruses that have up to this point been portrayed by japanese men in rubber suits.

It's the perfect plan.

Sadly I think Godzilla only attacks cities that are located near oceans. Iran is too far inland for this plan to work. True there is the Caspian Sea nearby, but I don't know if it's appropriate for Godzilla formation.

Just think of the terror if this plan worked.

I've tagged this thread with appropriate tags in hope that the government will come across it as they chew away at the net with something like Carnivore.
Perhaps some pre-emptive action can be taken.

America's "Homeland Security" needs Godzilla on their side......

If all else fails, the United States only need to pick up a phone.



We've got your back....................

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

Originally posted by dbates
Sadly I think Godzilla only attacks cities that are located near oceans.

Actually, it's much worse than that.

Alas, it seems that Godzilla -- like all giant radioactive latex monsters -- always heads to the same place when awakened: Downtown Tokyo.

Don't ask me why, but when a huge mutant monstrosity wants to start smashing buildings and throwing trains around, it proceeds unerringly toward the Ginza District.

Thus it would seem that Plan Godzilla Go Go Go is only suitable for nations which seek to destroy Japan -- or more precisely: Downtown Tokyo.

On the bright side, I've heard that secret experiments involving radioactive, fire-breathing leprechauns have shown promising potential...




[edit on 8/23/2006 by Majic]

LEPRECHAUNS?!


...DID YOU JUST SAY LEPRECHAUNS?!

Our government wasted 10% of the taxpayer's money in the Reagan years trying to create lawn ninjas! Out of gnomes!

Did that get anywhere? Of course, we really don't know because communication was severed during the first test and all we got on the video feed was scientists running from the test chamber screaming, but what do you know? Lawn ninjas was a collossal failure.