Ask... El Pollo Diablo

Originally posted by TeH PwNeR
El Pollo Diablo,

will i ever become rich?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?

...

"I am sensing that you are interested becoming riches, yes? You cans not hide the truth from me. I could gives you a real, real cool Zen answer like "Riches is in this broken hoe that you uses in your gardens," but lets faces it. This is very irritatings, and besides, I'm not good with growing things. Work is for squares. But the answer to your question is yes and no. I see clearly that you will quite poor. Possibly even live under a bridge for a whiles. But do not have despairngs! You is naturals in the charms department and will have many friends which loves you for who you are... most of the times. After all, humans is fickle. But you will have much riches in love! La amore... *sigh*. In the means times, just say no to drugs and that time under the bridges will go much better. Homeless + monkey on back = long hard road to hoes. Wait! I gets it now. The broken hoe in the garden weeds the something of adversity... somethings. Coooool. Thank you. Come again."

Will I ever publish the great American novel?

Originally posted by Hurricane
Will I ever publish the great American novel?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?

...

"Dear Hurricane. I'm not sures how to put this... I've read it. Its craps. The whole boy findses girl, boy marrieses girl, girl leaves boy for New Zeland sheep tycoon to start her owns company that turns woolses intos body armor is so over. Throw in some radioactives chimps with big muscles, and maybe some UFOses. And peoples in small bathing suits. Thats always selling in the bookstores, airports, and lavatory waiting rooms. Stick to that simple formulas and you will do well. Atmospheric phenomenonses is also a growing trends, from what I hears above Random House. You may want to tries that. Bottom line: leave the sheeps alone. Thank you. Come again."

But . . . but . . . they're so cute and cuddly.

Not to mention, the baby ones are delicious!

Originally posted by Hurricane
But . . . but . . . they're so cute and cuddly.

Not to mention, the baby ones are delicious!

Follow up message coming through...

"Hurricaneses, do not eat the UFO monkeys. Very bad news. Does you know what colitis is?"

Colitus.

Wasn't he the dead dude in that movie Gladiator?

I hated that guy! He mocked me.

Please help why do my childen keep calling me dad they clearly look like or fed ex driver?

Originally posted by skitzo
Please help why do my childen keep calling me dad they clearly look like or fed ex driver?

Um... Here goes.

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?

...

"Good to be hears from you again, skitzo. I have bad news for you and I want you to apply braces to yourselfs. Is you readies? Your wife, the mothers of your mulitiple childs, is secretly... being the sister of the Fed Ex truck persons! I am so sorrys to be giving you this news. It is not often that one finds a delivery persons in ones family. But look on the side that is brighter than darker. Maybes you can gets cheaper rates than that stupid first class junks at the office of the federal post. What does that mean anyway? Where you tie a horses? Bah! Anyway, have some beers with your new brother in laws. Everything will work out very, very nicely. Thank you. Come again."

Aren't people noticing the darting in and out of the broomcloset? I would think that would attract some sort of attention. Oh well...

Um...no change in those gas prices...except upwards. Remember...I have bells, books and candles, and a young priest and an old priest. Do not make me get nasty, chicken devil.

For you mods out there in cyberland who might think I am threatening poor Hogtie: Perish the thought. I would never do such a thing. But if I don't see some changes in the gas prices, and I mean down, not UP, Mr. El Pollo Diablo and I are going to have a most serious discussion involving oh any number of unpleasant things. All involving banishment to other realms of existance...

So into my rant I forgot to ask: If'n you don't do sports, can I at least find out how to get the girls of my dreams?

[edit on 9-8-2006 by seagull]

[edit on 9-8-2006 by seagull]

It sounds a lot like someone has been playing Monkey Island 3 lately... hmmm.

Alright time for a real question... Chicken Devil I need to know this and I want the truth. In the afterlife what do we find, is there a heaven or a hell? Is there a god or satan, and if so who holds the power that I seek so dearly, and just one more question. How can I be posessed Ive invited spirits in they wont come....

ok i dont live under a bridge, now to ask a better question, how old am I?

Originally posted by TeH PwNeR

ok i dont live under a bridge, now to ask a better question, how old am I?

Do you need someone to tell you how old you are ?

no i just wanna find out if this is real cause i dont el pollo diablo said i live under a bridge and i dont,

Originally posted by TeH PwNeR
no i just wanna find out if this is real cause i dont el pollo diablo said i live under a bridge and i dont,

Leave please... YOu asked if you would become rich, He replied with someday you may live under a bridge for sometime but you will always be rich with happiness. Now if your not going to read througouly or if your not going to ask serious questions then leave. Thiss may be a load of crap but if it isn't We'll find out soon its not hard to tell. Give him a chance and let him answer some real questions like mine if he can't come up with a good answer we'll assume hes a fraud but asking idiotic questions like how old am i are a waste of his and our time.

[edit on 9-8-2006 by inspiringyouth]

Originally posted by inspiringyouth

Originally posted by TeH PwNeR
no i just wanna find out if this is real cause i dont el pollo diablo said i live under a bridge and i dont,

Leave please... YOu asked if you would become rich, He replied with someday you may live under a bridge for sometime but you will always be rich with happiness. Now if your not going to read througouly or if your not going to ask serious questions then leave. Thiss may be a load of crap but if it isn't We'll find out soon its not hard to tell. Give him a chance and let him answer some real questions like mine if he can't come up with a good answer we'll assume hes a fraud but asking idiotic questions like how old am i are a waste of his and our time.

[edit on 9-8-2006 by inspiringyouth]

ok sorry, i guess i misread it i thought he said i lived under a bridge lol, i didnt understand him.

Originally posted by TeH PwNeR

Originally posted by inspiringyouth

Originally posted by TeH PwNeR
no i just wanna find out if this is real cause i dont el pollo diablo said i live under a bridge and i dont,

Leave please... YOu asked if you would become rich, He replied with someday you may live under a bridge for sometime but you will always be rich with happiness. Now if your not going to read througouly or if your not going to ask serious questions then leave. Thiss may be a load of crap but if it isn't We'll find out soon its not hard to tell. Give him a chance and let him answer some real questions like mine if he can't come up with a good answer we'll assume hes a fraud but asking idiotic questions like how old am i are a waste of his and our time.

[edit on 9-8-2006 by inspiringyouth]

ok sorry, i guess i misread it i thought he said i lived under a bridge lol, i didnt understand him.

Its all good I don't mind I was just saying I have a pretty serious question and Id love to get it answered and when questions like this pop up it seems to take a way the attention but lets let this thread get back on track... Come on CHICKEN DEVIL!

Originally posted by seagull

So into my rant I forgot to ask: If'n you don't do sports, can I at least find out how to get the girls of my dreams?

I just called in sick and stayed in the broom closet till the end of the day. I've got a calling, right? And away we go!

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?

...

"Is we going to have to go through this again? I don't effects market economy, I just reports it. But here's another tip: Don't buy BP stock until 2 fortnights from now. Then get alls you can!

As for getting girls of your many dreams, I have found that it is all in matter of being swave and deboneeer. Be your maximus in swaveness. Chicks dig that 'oh so cool' demeanor. Starts by telling your selfs 'I AM Steve McQueen.' Now that cats was cools. How else does you gets the chicks by playing chess? Awesomes! Thank you. Come again."

Which came first, the El Pollo Diablo or the huevo de diablo?

Originally posted by zoopnfunk
It sounds a lot like someone has been playing Monkey Island 3 lately... hmmm.

I really wish you hadn't said that. This is going to hurt me more than it will you...

...

"OK! Hold on one minute theres misters! Let me tells you a little somethings about Jonathan Ackley. He's big on stealing my nameses, that's what! Ask him what happened when he was 19 and driving in cars on a back roads in West Virginia. You know what's I'm talking about, Ackley! The bridge was out, and this hitching hiker was in the rain, and Mr. "I'm the brains behind Monkey Island" Ackly stopped and picked him ups. And, Ackley, did or did not that hikers in the rain tells you the bridge was out? Hmmm? And did not that hikers dissapear inside your car, yes? Does you remeber what he said his names was? That's right. You bets you do. I wantses my names back.... Hack."