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Buddy System

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posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 02:51 AM
Most of us have some friends we chat to informally. You know, we talk about every day stuff, the kids, work, home, etc.
I’ve made a lot of these friends here at ATS I chat with regularly. We respect each other’s privacy and anonymity and stick to first names and U2U’s. No exchange of personal information.

But it has now happened twice that friends completely disappeared without warning. I understand that people lose interest or real life takes over and people don’t want to or can’t return to ATS. The two people who disappeared are Think2Much and JustGeneric… One day they are active members, and then without warning they disappear of the map completely. But how do I know if they just lost interest or if they were hurt – or even worse – killed? I have no way of contacting them outside ATS. I could always ask a Mod for an email address, but hopefully they won’t just give it to anyone that asks… So now I’m stuck with the mystery – and if they don’t return I’ll probably never know they answer – always wondering if they’re still alive…

So, here’s my suggestion: How about some sort of buddy system? I know there’s a “buddy list” in the member center, but it’s not really used. How about a system where members mutually agree that their “buddy” may receive an email address, should they “disappear”? I know it’s still a fallible system – there’s no promise that you’ll get any response from an email – but at least you have a better guarantee that an email will be read compared to a U2U.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me? Maybe I drive people away from ATS?

Beware: Befriend Gemwolf, and you may be hunted down by the MIB...

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 06:06 AM
Cultivating friends on boards like this isn't as easy as you'd think. Noboy said a word to me for the first month I was here. I can still go days without a u2, but I can also check in to find 16 waiting for me. Just be yourself and take this for what it is. If it's not fun or informative, don't do it.

You can find me at several sites. I do find that drinking from more than one well is mighty tastey. I don't know what your interests are, but you might try branching out a little. People will talk when they've got something to say.

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 07:55 AM
Yeah, I suppose it's a viable idea. But email is just email, another thing that uses the internet. And if you're not coming onto ATS, why come onto the internet at all?

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 08:08 AM
What about just simply asking a member for their email address once they become your buddy?


BTW: Good idea GW

EDIT: Thanks for the reminder, I need to add my email in my account. I suggest that all members have do this in case you forget your password, etc.. otherwise the sytem has no way of knowing where to send your new password to. You still have the option of hiding it from non-staff members.

[edit on 28/7/2006 by SportyMB]

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 08:13 AM
Took the words right out of my mouth, Sporty.

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 08:15 AM

Originally posted by watch_the_rocks
Yeah, I suppose it's a viable idea. But email is just email, another thing that uses the internet. And if you're not coming onto ATS, why come onto the internet at all?

Uhm, believe it or not there is life outside of ATS. I know, I know... hard to believe, but it's true.

Gem - as sweet as your idea is, I'm afraid if people want to stay away for whatever reasons known only to them, then there isn't much you can do.

You could always start a 'have you seen this member' post.

Missing: Tinkleflower. Last seen on TKA 4 months ago. Has anyone seen or heard from her? Last seen wearing a pink and black avatar.

Tinkle: Come back to us soon! I have a chocolate egg I saved for you.

All 'missing' members could be put on the list and there would be updates. If they ever returned they could see how much they were missed. OK...maybe not...

Maybe we just conceed that people come and go. At least you have the openess to care and enquire.

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 09:25 AM
FWIW, if I recall the Buddy List is from a long ago version of ATS and is not functional.

I don't think ATS want to be giving out email addresses under any circumstances. I think members entrust their info to the owners of ATS and giving out addresses without permission would not fly.

I agree asking members for their email is a good way to go.
But, from personal experience on ATS and on other boards, if a person chooses not to answer u2us or email, there is no way know what has happened to them. So, you may be no further ahead even with the email addresses.

I guess it's part of the anonymity of the Internet

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 09:33 AM
I like the initial idea Gemwolf- it actually working is a different matter!

I think the whole concept of having 'buddys' will actually make the board a closer place- making conversation between members and I guess a little more personality to just a random opinion on a board. I like the idea alot- not down to the fact a member may be killed by top secret Government agents, but because it would bring people together.

From personal experience I respect many members on these boards and would like to know more of their views/ more of them- without having to send U2U's everytime. A type of buddy system would allow users to communicate (similar to chat) only the conversation is one on one.

So yes, it would by a good idea IMO.

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 10:25 AM
Well, one member whom I frequently chatted with (via AIM) told me beforehand that he had to do something which would take a few months and he may or may not have internet access. Though I’m assuming he does since he has logged on a few times but hasn’t posted much. Point being that there are outside world circumstances which may prevent a member from having regular internet access and or the time to visit. If their Email address is not in their profile well just ask them for it, and if they disappear and dont respond to Emails, well, again who knows what they are doing. But this is really a personal matter if you want to go beyond Emails you could, but I don’t recommend it. This shouldn’t be some rule or program on ATS it should be left up to the individuals members involved.

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 11:10 AM
I've had a few members that I've gotten to know, only to have them disappear from ATS, never to be seen again. And it is a bit strange that I have no way to contact them outside the ATS universe.
But that's the nature of discussion boards.

I keep an email acct. that's specific to ATS, and it's linked at the bottom of each of my posts where it says email. It's also in my user profile.

But other than that, if members decide to vanish from these boards, that's a choice they make.
It's like friends you meet in the real world that decide to move out of town and not keep in touch. You wonder where they went, but you have no way to track them down unless they contact you. It can be a bit disconcerting, but again, people have the right to vanish and start over.

I guess we just have to accept that.

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 02:18 PM
I think some guys missed what I was trying to say. I don't want anybody's email addy. I'm not giving mine to anyone either. But when a friend just disappear without any sort of warning, I'd like some way - like an email addy - to query the missing act. And this email could be given to me because the friend 'buddied' me at an earlier stage. JustGeneric made daily posts and entries to her blog. Then ta-da. Gone. Is she dead? Is she ill? Did her Pc break? We'll probably never know. But I like Nikelbee's idea better. Clever girl.


Posted Via ATSmobile (BETA v0.3)


posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 05:12 PM
I know what you mean- there are so many that just up and leave and never to be heard from again. It breaks my heart.

Such fun and interesting people too!!!

There must be a way- maybe informing us, as a curtesy that they will no longer be posting would be nice!! I'd hate to think they are having a hard time, or worse

We do bond here- it doesnt matter if we agree or not. We care for one another and we should say good bye if we will no longer be posting for whatever reason.
No need to explain!!!

Maybe a goodbye log, where people can sign off until they are able to come back- or just simply a little blurb from them so we know they're ok.

How about it?

posted on Jul, 28 2006 @ 05:24 PM
For all you know the missing people may have been selected by aliens to embark on a travel of the universe. Maybe they so want to get on the computer to tell us all what they are up to

No doubt if the above was true they would probably be called cranks and dimissed anyway.

I went missing from ATS for about 7 months whilst i done some close protection work in the middle east. On my return i noticed half my buddies had vanished but have since made more. Its life i suppose people get bored or scared of the impending truths in the world here on ATS. Maybe they found their answers somewhere else and are enlightned.

On "Tinkleflower" though that is another friend of mine who vanished without warning

posted on Sep, 6 2006 @ 01:55 PM
I think it's a good idea Gem. Although I fell away from tteh board for mundane technical reasons I appreciate the "wondering" of my whereabouts.

Especially with depression hounding me, it's nice to have people take interest in what's up even in this annonymous setting.

Thanks for sending me the link to this thread too
I'll U2 you my email addy (I think it's on my public profile though as a link - go to members and search).

On the topic of MIA, where's Mr Penny? His blog hasn't been touched! I was just getting into the chit chat too...

Anyway, the buddy thing is a good idea for those who chat here regularly, or semi-regularly.

Cheers all

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