posted on Jul, 26 2006 @ 05:09 AM
more like a nightmare.
i made a post several days ago about my last big hurrah, how i was going to a party and that was going to be my last drink for a while.
well, lately, when i get drunk, i go out of my way to act like a giant prick, and i don't remember any of it. and that night, i ended up getting
arrested for something i don't even remember.
ok, so i wake up in jail, and i spent 24 humiliating hours there. my dad bailed me out, but i'm still so full of shame it's hard to bear it.
right. ok, now the girl i've been with for 9 months told me we're done because of this. with nobody to blame but myself, i'm stuck with that, too.
now i'm a jealous dude, and she's gorgeous...i have no doubt in my mind that she's out with other guys right now, and THAT's tearing me up too.
i've got to find a second job, i start school again in a few weeks, and i'm really freaked out coz i'm afraid that i won't be able to get this
charge reduced to a misdemeanor or that i'll have to go back to jail.
i wish it was all just a long, horrible nightmare, but it's not. i'm by no means a weak person, but i've been crying for three days now...i'm
gonna have to go back to counseling, i'm going to be broke and shame-faced for the next who knows how long...
y'know, when i first met that girl, that was the first time in my life i didn't feel like dying. and it's not entirely because she's gone, but
these past few days have made life seem a lot less appealing, even though i've got the support of an awesome family and a few good friends.
jesus. nothin i do is making it better.