Satan is the truth!

That's right, I left Christianity long ago because I saw the light! And non other than Satan -itself- was there to guide me to the truth, it said eat this fruit! And it wasn't an apple it was a mango! Satan has blessed me with everything I would want in life, I have an amazing job (pays well), and am in the process of establishing a business that already has hundreds of clients, lovely animal friends (pets), and although I realize I would not get along with people if I revealed my beliefs, I do have a handful of close friends, even Christian friends! One of my best friends is a Baptist lesbian, and she rocks! I remember when I was Christian I felt really bad all the time, and almost ill, like I was surrounded my hate, but now I feel dandy. Thanks Satan.

Whatever floats your boat, as long as you don't force it upon others.

Where did you get the mango? What did Satan look like?

Satan looked like an iguana, and it gave me the mango because it was sitting on a mango tree. BTW mangos are delicious! I'm totally addicted to them now!

Originally posted by laiguana
I have an amazing job (pays well), and am in the process of establishing a business that already has hundreds of clients,

The luxuries of this life can be deceiving. Will your job be paying well 5000 years from now? Where will you and satan be then? satan is a lier and has you in a trap. The light you see is darkness. satan doesn't even own the things he claims to give you. They are stolen goods that will be retrieved by the rightful owners soon.

Since your in contact with satan, tell him a soldier in Jesus Christ's army says 2013 won't be the most enjoyable year in his little game he's playing, as it will be short lived.

When you get exposed to direct light your pupil contracts, if you keep staring into the sun you go blind. The closer a person gets to the sun the hotter and hotter they will get until they burn up. Make sense?

Originally posted by WiseSheep

Originally posted by laiguana
I have an amazing job (pays well), and am in the process of establishing a business that already has hundreds of clients,

The luxuries of this life can be deceiving. Will your job be paying well 5000 years from now? Where will you and satan be then? satan is a lier and has you in a trap. The light you see is darkness. satan doesn't even own the things he claims to give you. They are stolen goods that will be retrieved by the rightful owners soon.

Since your in contact with satan, tell him a soldier in Jesus Christ's army says 2013 won't be the most enjoyable year in his little game he's playing, as it will be short lived.

In 5000 years none of us will be in need of a job so it doesn't matter. What's going on in 2013 anyway?

Originally posted by Panzeroth
What's going on in 2013 anyway?

Ask laiguana, he's the one with the personal relationship with the great deceiver.

Regardless of what it is, I'll bet you 5 bucks nothing is gonna happen except the normal wars between Christians and Muslims and my God is better than your God mumbo jumbo.

Hey laiguana do you have special powers over chicks. You know seductive powers. I've heard that Satan gets any chick he wants.

If ye apes were not so pre-occupied with yourselves you would easily see what will occur in that year. That won't happen, so let -time- reveal itself unto you (as always).

Originally posted by laiguana
If ye apes were not so pre-occupied with yourselves you would easily see what will occur in that year. That won't happen, so let -time- reveal itself unto you (as always).

Easy now, you're the one who is convinced something super special will happen then and how will we know what it is if we have no idea? As far as I remember the Satanic Bible doesnt refer to anything 2013 specifically but there's a large chance I'm wrong or it is written in some other texts. Not that it matters, 2013 will be nothing more than another addition in the yearbook.

What Satanic bible? I never read of a Satanic bible! Where can I purchase one!?

I'm willing to bet that laiguana has a fantastic sense of humor. I won't call your bluff though, I'll bite (even if it is a mango.)

How do you respond to those who bring up the issue of Satan not being a true humanist? It has long been debated in Satanic circles (long before Nietzsche or Lavey) that on one hand, one can only perfect the self through focus on ones own needs - on the other hand, true power comes from the focus on others' needs. What is your position?

Satan has more power over man than god does. Just look at how geeedy we are and how many people are killed because of how satanic we are.

Well you are right Miss, I am amused by the -reactions- of others, but that doesn't mean I'm not a Satanist....
Regarding the whole perfection of oneself thing, I think it's a bit of both, but if you want an accurate response you will have to ask Satan.

First of all lets clear one thing up, you were never a Chrisitan. As a christian you cannot lose your salvation. Here is a list of veres that shows this to be true they are in order as the appear.

Isaiah 43:1-3; Isaiah 54:10; Jeremiah 32:40; Matthew 18:12-14; John 3:16; John 3:36; John 5:24; John 6:35-40; John 6:47; John 10:27-30; John 17:11,12,15; Romans 5:8-10; Romans 8:1; Romans 8:29-30; Romans 8:35-39; 1 Corinthians 1:7-9; 1 Corinthians 10:13; 2 Corinthians 4:14,17; Ephesians 1:5,13,14; Ephesians 4:30; Colossians 3:3-4; 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24; 2 Timothy 4:18; Hebrews 9:12,15; Hebrews 10:14; Hebrews 12:28; 1 Peter 1:3-5; 1 John 2:19,25; 1 John 5:4,11-13,20; Jude 1; Jude 24-25.

Ample Evidence is shown, you were never a believer, also this may be a joke if it is. I warn you there will be punishment for dragging Christ's holy name in the dirt.

What kinda punishment? Can you be more detailed?

IF divinities exist - and in my mindset they don't - God and Satan are likely to be two faces of the same coin...if you get my drift! Belief is a powerful mental state.
The dusty fear inducing doctrines of the Bible beckon many gullible individuals into a faith that has no other purpose than to control their lives and prey on their weaknesses.
Satan, lucifer, the devil, call this ficticious entity whatever you want, is nothing more than a Christian deception to lead more weak willed individuals into the arms of organised denominations of Christianity.
I believe religeon is nothing less than an organisation caterering for the deluded masses who need an emotional walking frame to get through lifes traumas and toil.
Those amongst us who do not subscribe to any faith, irrespective of their mental capacities are far more likely to live in a real world.

Originally posted by laiguana
What Satanic bible? I never read of a Satanic bible! Where can I purchase one!?

The Satanic Bible- by Anton LaVey. You can pretty much find it in any book store, I happened to see one in Barnes and Noble a year or so back.

Not a Satanist, by the way, far from it. But it's still an interesting read, if you are being serious.

Good luck, anyway, and happy, um, Sataning?