My Reaper

I am very concerned and kind of scared about recent religious, almost paranormal events happening to me. How could I contact a priest anonymously for free just to tell my story and ask some questions? This is kind of dealing with a demonic or angelic presence (I am not sure if it is good or bad), so what religion of priest would you reccommend i speak with? I know I sound crazy, but answers would be highly appreciated.. Maybe there is a way to speak to one online?

Its not in my home or where I go. Its in my sleep. I recently overdosed on drugs and was in the hospital in critical condition. Let me mention I was not trying to kill myself, just being a stupid teen trying to get high at a concert. While I was in the hospital, and since I have gotten out (a couple days have gone by), I have seen the Grim Reaper in my dreams. The doctor said the drugs should not be affecting my brain since they are out of my system and I have been tested, and I did not abuse drugs long term (that was my first time), so I shouldn’t have brain damage or anything. But lately, even before my overdose, I had been questioning and skeptical about religion (I was raised Christian but didn’t practice or get baptized.) Now, its like I'm going crazy. I see the grim reaper in all my dreams dressed in a black robe with a scythe. The first appearance happened when I spent the night in the hospital. He appeared in my doorway and stared at me. He didn’t approach further and I froze and stared back, and he vanished. The second was at home. I was sleeping all day with my door open, so my parents could keep an eye on me. I fell asleep that night, and in my dream, it was like I just woke up. Everything in my room was exactly as it was. The hallway light was on and my parents were gone. I heard loud stomping down the hall and He appeared in the doorway again just staring. I sat up and stared but still said nothing. He watched for a while and then He was gone.

The third day, (my most recent dream), I called out asking who he was. He sat on the edge of my bed and talked with me. I was scared at first, but as he talked to me, I trusted him and even wanted to go with him. He told me he wasn’t the devil and just a guide. I wrote down some of what he wrote verbatim right after I woke up, I scribbled it down. It was very clear and I could remember it very easily, as opposed to my other dreams. He said “I am not heaven nor hell, angel nor demon, just a guide. I am death.” I asked why he wore a black robe and he said “If you could see my face you would die because humans cannot handle seeing even a glimpse of what I have seen, the joys or the tragedies I have witnessed. It is for your own sake.” I wasn’t scared the more I talked to him. I even hugged him and wanted to go with him. My first thoughts waking up was that this was an angel or maybe God. But I have looked it up and many religions say this is Satan. Then I thought that maybe it is Satan trying to lead me down the wrong path or something. I want to speak with a priest but I know I sound very crazy. I want to speak anonymously to someone for some answers. I want it to be anonymous because I myself am a skeptic, and I know I sound like a lunatic.
:shk::shk:

If you want to start going to church or something, by all means go. But I do not think you necessarily need a priest, but if it makes you feel better then just go talk to one...its not like you need to give them your name or anything. If you believe in God, then ask for God to protect you and lead your heart. If you meet this figure in your dreams again, ask 'why' it is watching you and what is wants of you. If you 'sense' it as good, then no worries and ask for its wisdom....if you 'sense' it as evil, kindly tell it that it scares you and you wish it to leave and not come back. Or tell it "I only allow you to be here if it is Gods will and if you mean no harm." But again, if you want to tell a priest and get blessed by one, then just go and speak with one. If you are worried they know you, then go one town over. You are relaying a dream anyway, there is nothing crazy about that.

There are probably many theories as to the dream, from the unconscious to the astral to the spiritual and can probably be interpreted many ways. But in your dream if you are able to ask why it is there and what it wants with you, I think that will help let you know what it means and what to do from there. Follow your heart and ask for Gods protection and wisdom if you are spiritual in that way. And quit messing with the drugs...lesson learned I hope. Best wishes.

You have the points for a u2u to me yet?
If not its not entirely important that you contact me one on one yet.

Just know this, if Azrael is visiting you it is becuase it wants you to know that
your time has not come yet and that you have a purpose in this life that
your near death may have almost cut short. That is at least my first impression.

Anyone who meets death without fear wants to go with him, that is his
seduction and like a lover his leaving us here in life can also be a heart ache.

I know a lot about this subject, and know people who know even more about this,
people who have had a life long meaningful relationship with this personification
of a universal force.

One thing to understand, the robe, the skull, the scythe are projections of mans
understanding, or misunderstanding of death. Death is none of these things,
and only comes in a form that we can relate to. To some he comes as
a beautiful young man, because that is what makes them relaxed and willing to walk
into the next life with, to others who are in fear, he is a night terror.

A clown is an odd analogy, but it works the same, if you are funny person who
thinks clowns represent comedy then thats how they look, if you think clowns
are evil nasty child molesting monsters then Barnum's Circus is a house of shock.

Anyway, I just spoke to a long time friend tonight, who happened to be my personal
link between death and this world that I met "when I was your age", we hadn't
spoke in months, since she survived Katrina. I can't help but feel your posting
is more than coincedence.

Post away or u2u me, whatever. Don't be shy, the internet is as anonymous
as it gets, and unlike a priest most of the forum members won't molest you.

Oh one final thing, it may fly in the face of your faith, but there is no SATAN.
Again, thats just a name and personification of mankind's own inherit will to do harm
to himself and others in the name of his appetites and selfishness.



[edit on 19-7-2006 by Legalizer]

Look kid, it could be alot worse. Theres a presence that follows me everywhere I go. Its a ghost b/c I can feel the dramatic drop in temperature even when I'm in a hot place. Its only shown itself to me and it also likes to hurt me. One time I felt this alwful pain and when I looked to see what it was, I had a big red puffy mark where it happened. Recently I have comed to the beliefe that this thing may be a polturgeist, but I can never know for sure untill it gets worse. I believe that b/c polturgeist are usually associated with one person. I get these dreams where this evil person tries to catch and hurt me but I always run untill it finds someone else who would be a friend or loved one of mine where the evil person would hold hostage and torture them and suck the life out of to become more powerful and then I wouldnt be able to run anymore. And sometimes theres two of them and once I am able to hide from one of them, the other one finds me and I have to run some more. My advice is go to a doctor who can help you with those problems. Not a medical one. I never been to one myself so I dont know how to get in touch with one. Good luck.

My immediate intuition is that wildcat suffers from a mental illness, not a poltergeist.
Possible repressed memories of abuse, potentially paranoid schizophrenia.

I've had dreams of "this evil entity trying to get me" probably everyone has, and I came to the conclusion very early in life that it was only a personification of the subconscious fear of who I could become and what harm I could do to myself.

Almost every instance in these nightmares from the time I was five to 17, played out in reality at some point. I came to my conclusion when my last dream was a direct premonition of the very events that occured on waking from the dream, ie, I dreamed I woke from the dream..stuff happened and I faced my fear in dream, then woke up for real,stuff happened I faced myself in waking life.

SOM is not being haunted, possessed, or threatened. Once he learns his lesson from the experience he's had, I feel confident his life will be rather normal, mundane, but safer with his awareness that his own stupidity is one of the worst possible threats he'll encounter for a long time.

Not meaning to insult you, SOM, but OD'ing at a concert is big time dumb, and you know it.
I know all about being dumb. I teach my daughter that even the smartest people do
stupid things sometimes.

Thank you for your replies. I apologize to the people who contacted me and I could not u2u back due to my lack of points . I agree legalizer, that was dumb of me, but I cant take it back now, so I just gotta move on. My sleep has been alot deeper since this occurence than it ever was. I used to be a very light sleeper with alot of difficulty sleeping but now I could sleep through a hurricane. I havent talked to this reaper anymore, my dreams have returned to normal, but I see him in the background of my dreams twice a night average. I dont know how to talk to him again, I dont know how i did in the first place, I've never had a lucid dream where i could control that much, thats one of the reasons why the one where I talked to him surprised me so much. I have started writing when and where I see him in my dreams, and how many times a night. I keep a notebook by my bed.

Can I just ask what type of drugs did you OD on?. Certain drugs can cause neurological anomalies due to differing quantaties of neurotransmitters even when there is no drug left in the system i.e '___' flashbacks.
I personally dont believe that you are being visited by death but are kind of haunted by your near death experience and your subconcious mind is trying to deal with it.

G

the drug was dxm or dextromethorphan

Originally posted by Legalizer
My immediate intuition is that wildcat suffers from a mental illness, not a poltergeist.
Possible repressed memories of abuse, potentially paranoid schizophrenia.

Yes maybe that is true b/c it all started during the time I was being extremely abused. And these persons who are always chasing me and trying to hurt and torture me look scary but I dont think they are scary anymore. They would be having black spots where their eyes are supposed to be and would have grey wrinkley skin. Also they possesed black magic which sucks for me b/c most of the time I do not have magic unless I find a weapon or someone who helps me find a weapon and then he/she gets captured and tortured in front of me. With this weapon I would be able to defend myself from their magic and powers but they would always soon adapt to the weapon and find another way to hurt me. And most of the time these evil people are much much too powerful for me to ever even hide or run away twice and so I do what I have found out along time ago is to 100% efficiency of waking myself up always.

[edit on 20-7-2006 by wildcat]

Wildcat find yourself a discussion group, talk out the abuse that happened to you and your feelings of fear and insecurity will eventually fade away. Check craigslist.org or your local news papers, these groups are usually free and you don't have to worry about being "weird" as you'll hear tales of people that went through much worse. The longer you keep it to yourself and hold back emotions about it the longer your subconscious will try to deal with it, and unless you are practicing some form of meditation or visualization that process can take a life time. Best to just face it, deal with it, get it out in the open...that is your weapon!

For SOM:
The erowid report on effects of DXM Its the other chemicals in over the counter medecine that are fatal. Check out the information.

Glad I never touched that stuff! ick.

Originally posted by State of Mind
the drug was dxm or dextromethorphan

That could explain it then. DXM is a disassociative (in large amounts) like PCP, Ketamine and to some extent Salvia Divinorum. Using these types of drugs could possibly be the reason for your strange dreams. I suggest you look up DXM/ Dextromethorphan in erowid or some other drug site and see what the side effects are.


G

A touching story, State of Mind.

A few recommendations:
1) Stay off illegal drugs.
2) Respect the American Law.
3) Absorb humility, liberality, brotherly love, meekness, chastity, temperance, and diligence into your Soul.
4) Oppose pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth.
5) Read the Holy Bible daily.
6) Pray constantly.
7) Attend church frequently.

I am praying for you State of Mind, and may you always follow God's path. Best wishes.