BTS Improv

an avenue to express their inner doggy drag queen, because afterall, every dog needs to have it's day. Besides, these dogs are really part of an evil plot leading to world domination that being headed by...

.......Newt Gingrich and his jolly band of Elvis impersonating dogs. After all you ain't nuttin but a hound dog and if you try to escape this fantasy a fate worse than death awaits. That's right, were not kidding around here this is serious....

...because Newt has teamed up with Tom Cruise to produce a movie starring both the doggy drag queens and the Elvis impersonating pups to brainwash the American public into thinking that Scientology will save the world! Meanwhile, back at the batcave...

.....L. Ron Hubbard and his mother sit at the dining room table having a meal of enchiladas, peperoni, fried potatoes, washed down by cool, refreshing ice tea.
All seems peaceful in the bat cave then "crash, slam, creek, whoosh" the meanest crossdressing dog of all time appears and says...

...... hey guys will you pass me a cigar and pop a top as the dog then.....................

..."Sorry I'm late, Ronnie-Pooh. Tommy just wouldn't keep his paws off me. He really did cause quite a scene when I rebuffed his advances." Hubbard replies,...

....get a load of this and whips out a fire hydrant from a secret compartment, and lifts his leg in tribute.
As soon as he has finished his tribute, the red object of his liquid attention, shrinks to the size of an aspirin tablet and is conveniently stored away in the secret compartment once again. He takes two strong pulls from his freshly opened bottle of beer, shows his long canines as snarls.....

[edit on 17-7-2006 by whaaa]

[edit on 17-7-2006 by whaaa]

...... at the incredibly huge cow that is in the living room holding up a sign that says eat mor cow and then the dor goes an...............

Has a delicious steak with his beer. The cow for apparently doesn't mind the gaping hole in his side as he said to the dog......

"I feel wonderfull" the dog replied "but you have a gaping hole in your side." With that said, the cow then fainted and was taken to............................

A moon base where Grey aliens proceeded to drain him of all blood. They dropped him right back next to the dog, and te dog was subsequently blamed. He is currently serving out his sentance in a kennel in....

Pyongyang where Mr. Kim Jong il likes to eat pies and watch theatre shows starrring the cow tap dancing and...................................

Singing 'Swami River'. Which is odd becaue Kim taught the cow everything he knows, Like....

how to properly aim and use a slingshot; how to prepare aliens for dinner; and how to aggravate the rest of the world.....

lol

..... by launching his bottle rockets into the ocean and.........................

as they did, they made this sound..*listen*


Kerplop!!

Actually, the sound was more of a *Snap* *Crackle* *Kerplop* giving Kim Jong an idea. He thought, "I should make a breakfast cereal". After months of work, he came up with
"Rice-Kimmies" With the ad slogan
"They'll make you Il"
And so began the Breakfast wars with Kellog and...


[edit on 17-7-2006 by Rasobasi420]

Post and his evil minions the "Raisin Brands". Listen carefully and you can hear the California Raisins sing their Battle song. " Pup, pup were the mighty stinging shrunken grapes of wrath, best not to mess with"...





[edit on 17-7-2006 by whaaa]

..... so then there was a put down, prez bush walsk into to the room and asks cheney what is he doing with cereal, and bush replies, well first off, buddy your so ugly the rice krispys want ever talk to you and second of yall you are better off shooting the cereal with a shotgun and you might not misss..... so then cheney replies.....................

...have you been smoking crack again? The last thing this administration needs is another stupid scandal! Cheney then proceeds to take off his shoe and smack Bush upside the head while...