BTS Improv

......say fellas, has anybody seen my lost shaker of salt? I blew out my flipflop, stepped on a pop top and cut my heel half way to the bone. I sure as hell don't know why that guy on the stage is crying; he looks fine to me. Maybe he's just depressed because of what his wife did to those poor little mice. Damn vermin anyway. I usually jump half way out of my skin when one of those little vermin skurry 'tween my legs. Hey fellas! Don't rush off. Did I ever tell you the one about the preacher, the drunk and the dishrag? Well here's the deal.....

...I was strolling through the park one day, in the merry, merry month of May. When a preacher walked by...

.....with his head bowed in silent prayer. His supplication was so great that he failed to notice the obviously inebriated man sprawled on the path in front of him with the obligatory wet crotch that gentlemen of his ilk commonly display. "Shay Sir" spoke the drunk, "could you shay a little prayer for me, for you see......."

...I've seemed to have lost my towel." The preacher looks at the derilect in disgust, and replies, "you towel? How the hell did you manage to lose your bloody towel?!?!?" at which point the preacher smacks him upside the head. "A towel is to good for you, you blithering idiot, here's a wet dishrag instead!" The drunk looks at the raggedy dishrag and...

...gingerly regains his feet and his composure at almost the same time. He stuffs the dishrag into a torn back pocket and stumbles off into the shadows. Our esteemed reverend wonders if his rude manner might have been inappropriate. Nah he thinks, " I'm a man of God and Iv'e got souls to save" He clasps his hands in prayer and heads North where....

.........he plans to go to the north pole where, santa and rudolf live in their late days of life, he plans also to save all of the little elfs and make an elf superchurch, and then after that he plans to go to..........

...Iceland were the good Reverand intends to build a shelter for orphaned puffins and baby seals. As he is surveying a parcel of land on which to build the shelter...

............. he finds a nuclear launch pad where the russians have been building for 5 years now, and then he meets the russian.............

who drinks a lot of vodka...which...

...leads him to break out into spontaneous song and dance routines which he performs rather badly. The Reverand is taken aback by the Russian's atrocious rendition of "Singin' in the Rain," being an old song and dance man himself, but more along the lines of Christopher Walken, when...

the actual christopher walken walks out, and they....

...size each other up and decide to have a dance-off! Christopher removes his jacket, while the good Reverend loosens his collar...

then realizes christopher is over 18 and retightens his collar which is.......

...........rusian made, and was tighten by putin who.............

...ironically is a huge Christopher Walken fan. The Russian, the Reverand and Walken then performed an impromptu musical dedicated to the colossal friendship forged by Bush, Putin, Superman and all the furry friends of the forest, when...

skeptic overlord came in and banned them all for presenting fun knowlege around pts...which cause...

...uncontrolled laughter and premature graying, but that's beside the point because Skeptic Overlord is such a compassionate, understanding and all-around nice guy!:w: Skpetic is overcome with emotion as he bears witness to one of the most touching musical numbers to ever grace a stage, he then regains his composure and...

............ and rides his sprigers motorcycle all over ATS land and just has a grand ole time, and the springer chases him with............

five dozen water ballons. And with that, S. O. turned to him and said......

...... "hmmmm would you like to go fishing in the ATS pond/lake/river/waterfall underneath the ATS buliding in that secret little shack near the server room", and then..................