posted on Jul, 4 2006 @ 10:03 AM
I'll tell you something else frau Dr. says, every time we are walking in to a dinner party:
"Remember, dear; everyone loves a good listener"
Meaning that everyone else feels the same way you have mentioned in this thread; that it's hard to find friends. The thing which most people
instinctively look for is someone who will listen to them as they reveal bits of their own lives.
If you seem a bit quiet and intriguing, yet still connected with the conversation, people will start talking with you to try and figure out what your
Applying this to dinner parties, Frau Dr. says "don't label yourself." Avoid describing yourself as "I'm a ( political / religious / sexual
choice / hobbyist )" because it takes the fun out of people figuring you out.
For instance. If, when offered some ors d'ouvres, I say "No thanks, I'm a Vegan," then the host feels awkward, and people who have a negative
stereotype of vegans will put me in that pigeon-hole and leave me there.
If I say, "Thank you, but I'm not eating meat products this evening" then someone will ask why? For religious or nutritional reasons? And then I
can tell them about WHY I'm a vegan, which is more interesting anyway.
And then when I have a psychological NEED to self-reveal, I can come on ATS and tell you that I'm actually a commited Carnivore, and I just told them
I don't eat meat because the hors douvres were just bits of oscar meyer boloney smeared with cream cheese on a ritz cracker. . . .
Speaking of which, cashlink,
I'm curious how many social events you go to. That's the best way to meet interesting people. Especially volunteering for civic organizations. I
served on a library board, which in and of itself was pretty lame (other than saving our local library), but it got me regular tickets to the
Art openings, Theatre openings, concert pre-parties, even church groups . . .
When I met Frau Dr., she was a "friend of the ____ and ______ Museum" in our city. She was always being invited to the opening of some exhibit.
She'd steer us by there, load us up on complementary champaigne, and then take a cab to the symphony or some private party or whatever. The thing
was, we met a group of people doing exactly the same thing. Very "sex and the city."
She was a member of a museum ($50 a year), A museum in a nearby city ($30 a year) and a "patroness of the symphony" ($65 a year). Sounds like a
lot of money, but it gets you in to about one "pre-something party" a month. Which is enough to keep you and your companion in champaigne and hors
d'ouvres all year, and meeting exciting new people.
You can even do that if you live in a rural area. If you live within a 2 hour drive of a mid-size city, you can still do this sort of think once a
month, and meet some kewl people.
We're having a fourth of July party tonight, and I've been smoking the Brisket since Sunday. We've invited several other couples, because you can
see the fireworks over town from the little hillock in our back yard. . . . what time can we expect y'all?