Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.


Well, i hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did!

And Here's the link to the website:www.evilbible.com...

I did! That was great!

For both entertainment and personal justification!

Just Kidding! about the justification, that is

I loved it so much I cast one of my monthly votes your way...

Wow, that cracked me up. And, it's funny cause it's true...

So does that make it sad, then?

I think it is 'strong delusion that they should believe a lie?'

A test. For real.

How about:

11. You believe that within your lifetime, JE-sus is going to come down in his Rapturemobile and scoop you up so you can avoid bad things happening to every other sucker on the planet

12. You anxiously scan the news for numerological hints that can reveal the Anti-Christ

13. You give more than you can afford to someone in a shiny suit and even shinier face

14. You think that George Bush really DOES talk to God (and that God DEFINITELY listens and perhaps even TALKS BACK

11) You author a thread entitled "Jesus Christ is the Bridge between Human Death and Eternal Life", and back that statement up with 6 sentences? J/K.

Nice thread.

Originally posted by Esoteric Teacher
11) You author a thread entitled "Jesus Christ is the Bridge between Human Death and Eternal Life", and back that statement up with 6 sentences? J/K.

Nice thread.

You better be kidding.

See my reply on that thread. More than 6 sentences, but I thought it a topic worthy of discussion.

Those were excellent additions, Rich! The rapture mobile one is on spot, no doubt!! Those are good funnies!

I need to make my own, because I'm inspired.

I think the list might just very well be quite long if contributions continued--remaining truthful all the while.

YIKES.

Is it attack? hmmm...

Maybe it is an 'intervention.' :w:

Originally posted by queenannie38

You better be kidding.

See my reply on that thread. More than 6 sentences, but I thought it a topic worthy of discussion.

Yes Ma'am! I was joking, and i was talking about the original post, not the reply.

LOL I like all of the add ons you guys have made

Originally posted by queenannie38
So does that make it sad, then?

I think it is 'strong delusion that they should believe a lie?'

A test. For real.

What lie are you referring to?????????????????????????????????????????????????

The blind leading the blind. Hypocrites accusing other hypocrites of being hypocrites. It's an easy trap to fall into; I know I've done so several times here on ATS. Kinda like trying to take the speck out of my friend's eye while ignoring the plank in my own.

So are you, too, a hypocrite? Are you sure?

Originally posted by Sun Matrix
What lie are you referring to?????????????????????????????????????????????????

You're asking me?

How should I know--you're the one who claims authority to judge the object of my veneration as some sort of OT idol, right? I would think you'd know the bible front to back with that kind of knowledge from which you can judge me.

Originally posted by junglejake
The blind leading the blind. Hypocrites accusing other hypocrites of being hypocrites. It's an easy trap to fall into; I know I've done so several times here on ATS. Kinda like trying to take the speck out of my friend's eye while ignoring the plank in my own.

So are you, too, a hypocrite? Are you sure?

Come on, Jake, that is not like you. You seem defensive and there is no need.

The reason I find these statements 'funny' is because they do point out some things that many fundamentalistic christians don't seem to see themselves as presenting. But it is not really funny, because it is blindness.

Fundamental means:

1. Of or relating to the foundation or base; elementary: the fundamental laws of the universe.
2. Forming or serving as an essential component of a system or structure; central: an example that was fundamental to the argument.

The foundation, or basis for being fundamental in regard to Christ, means following His basic and simple directives, right? At least it does to me. In the bible, I consider, in the NT, the sermon on the Mount to be pretty much the fundamentals of what He taught. And christianity doesn't follow these in a fundamental fashion, but instead seem to contradict just about everything that He said.

I'm not pointing at you, but the group in general. Except for maybe the hypocrite statement you just made. But I know your feathers are probably ruffled.

Why?

If this isn't a true observation, then why reply as you did? So quick to point out hypocrites and blindness, but can you support that in a reasonable fashion?

I personally know I am not a hypocrite. The reasons why I could go into, but I don't want to bog this thread down. If you want details, though--I'll be glad to supply you with them. One of my principles in life has always been to have integrity and avoid the pit of hypocrisy. It seems to be a rather severe accusation, according to what Jesus said in his sermon, and otherwise--and it is one, like liar, that I would hesitate on letting past my lips unless I was positive it was not a false accusation. It is meant to snap a person's attention to the contrast between their words and their actions.

How can the other posters be hypocrites? They don't claim to be christians. I dont' either, of course, but I do follow Christ. And whether in your judgment this is true or not, if you don't have any evidence of my actions saying otherwise, then it's not a good thing to say to me.

Originally posted by junglejake
The blind leading the blind. Hypocrites accusing other hypocrites of being hypocrites. It's an easy trap to fall into; I know I've done so several times here on ATS. Kinda like trying to take the speck out of my friend's eye while ignoring the plank in my own.

So are you, too, a hypocrite? Are you sure?

please explain how we are being hypocrites...


Like Queenannie said, this post wasn't directed at you or any other moderates. I also do not define myslef with any religion but still follow christ.

Are you mistaking me for being an outspoken athiest who publicly and fiercely denies God? I am not and I have no intention to be that either...

Pretty funny Dances. Hey, I know some of those people!

You're asking me?

How should I know--you're the one who claims authority to judge the object of my veneration as some sort of OT idol, right? I would think you'd know the bible front to back with that kind of knowledge from which you can judge me.

Ah.................again the accuser of the brethren comes forward with false statements.

And to continue, you made this statement.

I think it is 'strong delusion that they should believe a lie?'

You say we believe a lie, that's fine, be specific and name the lie. All I asked was:

What lie are you referring to??

The only judgement that I have made is who your master is and he holds no authority with me.

[edit on 14-6-2006 by Sun Matrix]

Originally posted by Sun Matrix

You're asking me?

How should I know--you're the one who claims authority to judge the object of my veneration as some sort of OT idol, right? I would think you'd know the bible front to back with that kind of knowledge from which you can judge me.

Ah.................again the accuser of the brethren comes forward with false statements.

How can this be a false accusation when you not only did it on several other threads, you are actually doing it, again, in this very same post?

Let's go through this, one at a time:

1. I'm saying you said this to me in the past
   
2. You say I am falsely accusing you
   
3. You make the same statement again right now
   

I think it is 'strong delusion that they should believe a lie?'

You say we believe a lie, that's fine, be specific and name the lie. All I asked was:

What lie are you referring to??

If you don't know, then obviously you are being tested by God to see if you love truth. So who am I to interfere? I trust God to know what He's doing because I know He will do right. 'Will not the judge of all the earth do right?' Abraham knows God is faithful and good. I say yes, I trust Him. That's all I can do.

BTW, the words I quoted 'strong delusion that they should believe a lie' is verbatim out of the KJV NT. You can look them up yourself, can't you? If not, try a search at BlueLetterBible.org.

The only judgement that I have made is who your master is and he holds no authority with me.

See, there you go again. Consider your words carefully, that way you don't end up having them for supper.

Queenannie,

You seem to be twisting everything up as usual. I asked you what lie you were referring to and you have yet to answer the question.

BTW, the words I quoted 'strong delusion that they should believe a lie' is verbatim out of the KJV NT.

I am aware where the words came from. I also am aware that the words have to do with the wicked and not the Christians.

If you don't know, then obviously you are being tested by God to see if you love truth.

I have passed all the tests of your god, he is a defeated foe. It is written: And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony

See, there you go again. Consider your words carefully, that way you don't end up having them for supper.

I have continually watched as you take great joy in praising the lost and blind, further leading them from the truth. You hide behind lord, christ and love, love, love as you devour the unaware. If you want to jump in with your false accusations, I certainly am going to respond with direct questions, such as what lie are you referring to? Let's put the cards on the table. I am only asking you to backup your statements.

You say we believe a lie, that's fine, be specific and name the lie. All I asked was:
quote:
What lie are you referring to??

I would be more than willing to answer you. However the 8000 character limit
on posting precludes it.