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Why can't gays keep long relationships

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posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 01:10 AM
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I have been whith my spouse for 14 years now. I am very happy.
We have had our ups and downs our arguments and disagreements.
But we made a rule not to go to bed mad at night to always end an argument
and put it behind us.
I realize in the beginnig of this relationship it was going to take some work, and I had to do a lot of work on ME!!
I soon found out you can't change everything about your spouse, but i did learn to live with some of the little annouying things he would do. lol
I do want to say that neither one of us has ever cheated on one another.
I have had guys hit on me from time to time but I always let them know I am taken,even though some men knew that I had a spouse.
I have to agree some men are pigs and I did say some!
I have to think that a lot of gay men do not wan't responsiblity and just will not work on their relationship. I found out long time ago if you can meet half way with your spouse thing will work out.
One thing none of us like to do is give in ,in an argument it is one of the hardest thing to do, even to this day I have a hard time doing it.
My spouse and I live a normal life, almost as if we were straight or married.
His parents found out he was gay over 3 years ago they still can't deal with it.
In his mom eyes I am a monster and I turn her son gay. LOL
Anyway I would like to hear why gay men can't keep a long relationship!




posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 01:19 AM
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posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 01:37 AM
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Originally posted by cashlink

Anyway I would like to hear why gay men can't keep a long relationship!


Why do you think the cant? My cousin is gay and has been in a relation# a for a bunch of years now.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 01:40 AM
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have you ever ask him why so many relationships.
Ask him one day and see what he will tell you .



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 03:50 AM
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My question is why “straights” are so bothered with what gays do?

Interesting how some people don’t want homosexuals to get married but other people want to know why homosexuals can’t stay in a long-term relationship. Isn’t a marriage the ultimate long-term relationship? (Except in Hollywood…
)



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 04:01 AM
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A Gay Old Time


Originally posted by cashlink
Anyway I would like to hear why gay men can't keep a long relationship!

Who says they can't?


I'm aware of quite a few gay couples that have been together for a very long time -- even back to the days when being gay could lead to imprisonment for "sodomy".

Being gay in a society which is antagonistic toward homosexual relationships is inherently stressful, and that can in turn add all that is needed to put an otherwise viable relationship on the rocks.

As far as I know, there is nothing inherent to being gay that precludes a long and lasting relationship.

But any relationship is only as strong as the commitment of those who share in it.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 12:19 PM
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Gays can keep relationships together just as well as straights can. You mentioned that people that knew you had a spouse hit on you, that happens with straights too. (In fact, that's what broke up my straight marriage was because the straight man I was married too just couldn't keep it in his pants.)

I do think that family pressures can cause relationships to be shortened, which is an unfortunate event. My uncle was with a man for quite a long time, but my grandpa didn't know he was gay. (Well, I think he knew, but chose to not beleive it at the time.) I think that his partner was so frustrated by having to 'hide' thier relationship around my uncle's parents that it caused enough stress on the relationship they just called it quits.

As Majic said: "But any relationship is only as strong as the commitment of those who share in it."



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 12:28 PM
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I think that was very selfish of your uncle lover, he should have under stood.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 01:44 PM
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I always thought a lot of straight men where promiscuous.
We are hereing about more and more merried men cheating on their wifes.
with other men and woman.
I would have to say promiscuous men are not all gay.
But society would have most people bliveing only gay men are the wild one's.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 02:33 PM
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Originally posted by Majic

Originally posted by cashlink
Anyway I would like to hear why gay men can't keep a long relationship!

Who says they can't?

Heck, who says they should!



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 02:40 PM
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I'm a 37 year old straight male and I've never been in a relationship longer than a year and yes it's usually my fault.

I have a number of gay and lesbian friends and while some of them are as emotionally stunted as me quite a number have been in relationships for a very long time.

My friend Steve and his partner Mat just celebrated their thirtieth anniversary.

I don't think it has anything to do with sexuality it has to do with maturity. Some are some aint and I am one that aint...though I'm working on it.

Spider

Forty is the new twenty anyhow...least that's what George Clooney's publicists hairdresser says.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 03:06 PM
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There sure have been a bunch of these lately.
I just want to say that I've been with my husband for over 17 years now, and it sure doesn't seem like a very long time when your in love. I don't know many other gay couples because almost all our friends are straight, but I don't think my relationship is that different from other gay couples.

I've sure seen a lot of straight couples crash and burn though...............



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 04:07 PM
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Thank you Spiderj on your reply I really like what you had to say on maturity.
Maybe to many men straight, and gay go in relationships to early in life.


Anxietydisorder 17 years is a long time, sounds like you found your soul mate.
Congratulations 17 years in a gay relationship is gold I hope it last forever for you.
Its funny our friends our straight to. I guess I don't trust to many gay men.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 04:32 PM
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Thank you Spiderj on your reply I really like what you had to say on maturity.


Yep cashlink I'm always willing to admit when I'm immature, which is often and usually accompanied by me making a farting sound with my armpit but that is completely lost here on the board. But everybody knows what it sounds like.

I'm doing it now actually.

Spiderj



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 04:37 PM
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Originally posted by cashlink

Its funny our friends our straight to. I guess I don't trust to many gay men.


Thanx cashlink, and your right about straight friends. Never put a box of chocolates in front of a fat lady, your candy might go missing........



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 04:45 PM
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I have to say you do have a good sense humor, and reading your post I fell out of my chair LOL.
I think its ok to be a little immature because that is what we do love about people.
I can hear your arm pits now LOL.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 04:52 PM
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I love chocolates i can't get enough LOL put a box in front of me and I will gobble
them up sooooo fast!! that me and my Bedlington.
just hope we dont turn in to the fat lady



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 07:50 PM
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Well, I am a lesbian and not a gay man - but I have known gay men who have been with their spouses for a very long time.

My spouse and I just celebrated our 15th anniversary. We just moved to a state that is fairly gay friendly and is working on legislation to grant civil unions. We are discussing registering a domestic partnership because some organisations here are using dp stats to help determine the number of gays and lesbians in committed relationships. We want to add our relationship to that number.



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 09:19 PM
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accullly all the gay couples i know of have pretty desent relationships... most of them have been together longer than straight couples i know.
maybe you and your other just need to work alittle together, like you have been



posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 09:29 PM
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Happy 15th Anniversary I am glad to hear from gay people who are in committed relationship.
Its smooth sailing from here on out.



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