posted on May, 26 2006 @ 03:07 AM
Well, I think it's official now. Vagabond still has a heart. There was some speculation on my part that I'd never really fall again after my
engagement to my first love fell apart some 5 years ago.
Thing is, the girl I'm falling for is Japanese. She's been here 4 years- speaks great English, though she still needs help on the academic end of it
(which is how we met).
So what's the conventional wisdom on relationships across cultural barriers?
So far things have been pretty good, but certain things haven't translated so well.
Apparently (forgive me if I'm misconstruing) in Japan it's customary to express any number of things, not the least of which is gratitude,
materially. Of course, in America it's customary to express most things not at all, especially gratitude.
In some ways this has been really cool, but I've been worried about offending her. I saved her butt on a history exam, and afterwards we went out to
lunch. She assumed she was paying as a thanks, but of course, I insisted (and with a little gracious talking, got my way without offending her).
But I've got to admit I've had to guess a bit at what messages I'm sending from time to time. I have no idea how it comes across for me to help her
and then insist on not taking anything, but infact on paying when I take her out. Just nice (i hope), but I'd be embarrassed if that were interpreted
as trying to buy affection or something similar.
Just curious what others might know or think- any interesting stories out there or whatever?
I'm not so much asking for advice as conversation though. My basic rule has just been to keep my finger on the pulse of our conversations- we're
definately interested in eachother and I haven't sensed any uneasiness really. It's trippy though, and I do sort of worry that if things start to
progress that something might translate badly at a critical moment. I take it she hasn't dated a lot if any here, and I don't know what the
"rules" are a she knows them.
Oh well though, she's beautiful, she's nice, and she's not afraid of me physically or intellectually- rare combination. I suppose I'll take my
chances with something going wrong.