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The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbeaable.
(in a Bucharest hotel lobby)
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
(in a Leipzig elevator)
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
*in a Belgrade hotel elevator
Please leave your values at the front desk.
*in a Paris hotel elevator
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
*on the menu of a Swiss reataurant
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am daily.
*in a hotel in Athens
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
*in a Yugoslavian hotel
Not to perambulate the corridor in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
*in an Austrian hotel catering for skiers
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger: roasted duck let loose, beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
*on the menu of a Polish hotel
For your convenience, we recommend courteous efficient self-service.
*in an Hong Kong supermarket
Drop your trousers here for best results.
*in a Bangkok dry cleaner's
Dresses for street walking.
*outside a Paris dress shop
Ladies have fits upstairs.
*outside a Hong Kong dress shop
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
*n a Rhodes Tailor shop
Could you like to ride on your own ass?
*advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand
To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
*on the faucet in a Finnish washroom
For coats made for ladies from their own skin.
*in the window of a Swedd*ish furrier
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
*on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong
Specialist in women and other diseases.
*in the office of a Roman doctor
It is forbidden to enter a womman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
*in a Bangkok temple
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
*in a Tokyo bar
Ladies are suggested not to have children in the bar.
*in a Norwegian cocktail lounge
Stop: Drive Sideways.
*detour sign in Kyushi, Japan
Special today - no ice cream
*in a Swiss mountain inn
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
*at a Budapest zoo
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
in an Acapulco hotel
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they're best in the long run.
*in a Tokyo shop
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
*in a Copenhagen airline ticket office
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
*from a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditional
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
*in a Tokyo hotel
You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
*in the lobby of a Moscow hotel across the Russian Orthodox monastery
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different gender, for instance men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
*a sign posted in Germany's Black Forest
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite gender in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
*in a Zurich Hotel
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
*in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist
If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.
*on the door of a Moscow hotel room
When passender of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
*in an Tokyo car rental firm