Fett and Pickles ATS sandwhich club

Thanks for accepting my application in to your wonderous club!!!!

incase of emergency keep one loaf of bread and a can of handy as a last resort!!!!! lol

Ahoy!

I be back to fight fer my place in t'sandwich club! Feast yer eyes on this mighty treat:

'The Meaty Meat'

• Use three thick slices of the finest bread - Hovis.
  
• Butter both sides of the middle slice lightly.
  
• Add lots of chicken, lamb, turkey and maybe some pork inbetween one half of the sandwich.
  
• Add some fresh lettuce to the other.
  
• Add a small amount of either mustard or mayonnaise (If you're as hardcore as I am, you should put mustard in one half and mayonnaise in the other).
  
• Admire the artwork you created.
  
• Take a bite of this meaty beast and cry with joy while doing so.
  

[edit on 21-5-2006 by xeroxed88]

White wonder bread with the crust trimmed off

One slice covered in butterscotch syrup, but not so that it runs off the bread.
One layer of gummy worms, just the read and green ones.
One 3 musketeers bar, melted on the dash of a f150 ford Pickup and squeezed from the wrapper onto the gummy worms until no gaps are left in the worms.
l layer of pastel multi colored mini marshmallows.
1/2 box of good and plentys or to taste.
on remaining bread slice, slather with whip cream and lay gently on top.


Wash this sweet thing down with a liter of mt Dew....

Stand back and watch the fun..........

From: The Laboratory of the Utility Sandwich Research Kitchen

Whilst research is well underway into exotic fillings at the Department of Theoretical Savouries, it has come to the Laboratory's attention that there has been little or no development into sandwich-transport safety.

Each year thousands of sandwiches have suffered severe and/or terminal damage do to insufficient restraint and/or containment practices. Such needless waste of sandwiches in their prime deserves to be acknowledged. Therefore we are currently embarking on R&D into the nature of hazards commonly faced and to remedy a technical solution. Any input from sandwich-structural engineers and bread-analysts would be most welcome.

welcome DR Vladamir Timski

It is with great pleasure that we have welcomed Dr Timski into our ranks.

Dr Timski has worked extensivley in many of the 'Cut and thrust' areas associated with Sandwhiches, their development and research.

This research has come at a price though, back in 91' Dr Timski was involved in a serious accident at the Geneva Sandwhich restraint and Enclosure Facility. One of the main Chicken Tika Masala thermo coolers went critical, this inturn led to a high profile reactor leak and shutdown situation, with Dr Timkski risking his life by re entering the building to shut down the problem reactor manually. After 6 months of skin grafts and rehabilitation he has made a 'partial' recovery.

Dr Timski is more than qualified to answer any questions you may have regarding sandwhiches, their development and safe deployment and transport, he was also the first man to reach the 3rd base camp on Everest carrying an 'Egg,Bacon and cheese' delux.....i think you'll agree....an amazing feet by any standards.



[edit on 22-5-2006 by optimus fett]

=O I think i've did a great thing...

The AssQuaker

Coming to an ATS page soon...

Yarr! Did I get in?! :w:

The AssQuaker

????

MacDonagh.....please explain and justify this outburst?

'The AssQuaker' is a sandwhich i believe?.....is it not the same sandwhich used during the Norman invasion of 1066?

please elaborate on your post.

You, the Sandwhich and the Law!

I think its time to highlight some of the laws regarding sandwhiches.

A few people seem to have forgotten how to treat a sandwhich and the law with respect, this has resulted in some rather high profile court cases and arrests over the past few months. With Global 'Sandwhich Day' just around the corner..(8th July)...we feel its important to keep you are members informed of where u stand with certain sandwhiches and sandwhich laws in general....both in Europe and abroad.

Although this isnt a complete listing of the laws relative to Sandwhiches, it does highlight the more commonly abused laws and sandwhiches involved.

With summer round the corner, can i remind you all aswell, Sandwhiches die in hot cars....leave a window down slightly.


THE LAW REGARDING SANDWHICHES.

never throw any kind of sandwhich in a public place, unless the area is a designated 'buttie lobbing zone'

never use the word 'baguette' to describe a sandwhich

Always keep sandwhiches properley stored whilst travelling in a vehicle, most european countries allow cellophane as a basic external retention unit, however spain recentley decreed it law that 'tupperware' must be used now at all times.

Always face east when eating any sandwhich in a muslim country, do not risk offending our islamic friends.

Always wear laderhossen when eating sandwhiches in Austria, the standard fine now for eating a sandwhich without wearing laderhossen is 467.34€.

When making a sandwhich for friends or family (in paris), remember to specify (in writing) 3 days before the constructed sandwhich is to be offered for consumption, the fillings it contains.

Always make sure you have a fire extinguisher handy when offering up a sandwhich decorated with a sparkler.

Never make a sandwhich when under the influence of morphine, this has become the cause of many a recent injury when a battlefield casualty has endulged in sandwhich making.

Always report an unattended sandwhich to the relevant authorities immediatley.

Remember to do the 'Sandwhich Dance' when eating a sandwhich in Norway, again, its a respect thing. Details of this dance can be found at www.norwaysarnedancer.com

Remain vigilant when a would be sandwhich making apprentice offers up a new filling that hasnt been properley tested.

Never attempt to consume more than 8,000,000,000 sandwhiches a day.

Never use a sandwhich as a weapon.

Never use a sandwhich as a flotation device, unless it is the patanted and tested 'Whoopsy floating Sandwhich'

Never leave a child unsupervised with a tripple decker sandwhich.

I don't want anyone getitng alarmed, but I have found further proof of the evils associated with Ba*ue**es:



Don't say you weren't warned. The Bread-Nazis (or Brazis) are just waiting for you to have your first Ba*ue**e, and then.....your doomed :shk:.

Originally posted by optimus fett
You, the Sandwhich and the Law!
With summer round the corner, can i remind you all aswell, Sandwhiches die in hot cars....leave a window down slightly.

You have voted optimus fett for the Way Above Top Secret award. You have one more vote left for this month.

LOL! Too funny, man.

I don't want anyone getitng alarmed, but I have found further proof of the evils associated with Ba*ue**es:

I think its important to highlight the slippy path of the baguette user....

perfectley demonstrated here by cheebob....well done that man.

Originally posted by xeroxed88
Yarr! Did I get in?! :w:

After a long review with the code of buttie book, after your earlier outburst. I think you have proven urself with that hart attack enducingt sandwhich, welcome to the club.

*******NEWS BREAK********

We are running a support groupe for members who have become romanticly involved with there sandwiches, its called 'and they call it buttie love'. We all know the pains of a filling based hartacke, so come and share with us.

I think its also worth noting here that an overdose of cheese and pickle can cause mild dyslexia..clearly demonstrated by Grand Master Pickles post above.

Remember to leave a 5 minute gap before typing after consuming the afore mentioned sandwhich...

especially if dealing with important documents like last will and testaments, Passport applications, court summons etc.

[edit on 22-5-2006 by optimus fett]

I found this leaflet in the foyer:




Very helpful, I know there's one or two members who spend their days looking for their next BLT fix, and even certian members who have been known to do a little burglary to fund their Beef Pate habbit. I reccomend anyone having troubles putting down the loaf, to give Sandwaholics Anonymous a try.

Very helpful, I know there's one or two members who spend their days looking for their next BLT fix, and even certian members who have been known to do a little burglary to fund their Beef Pate habbit. I reccomend anyone having troubles putting down the loaf, to give Sandwaholics Anonymous a try.

Once again chebob...thanks for bringing this information to our attenion....

It can be all to easy.....

a healthy sandwhich diet can quickly turn into an addiction.....the amount of younger members we have looking for a quick philledelphia fix is astounding....

especially bad when the addiction forces the 'addict' to steal...often also turning to prostitution...

If you have any concerns regarding your sandwhich compsumption figures..please u2u me.

ill add mine,

tin tuna,
Chopped onion,

dollop of mayo
dollop of sauce
dolop of salad cream

mix together and YUM

add pepper to hot it up

Here's my favourite.

Industrial strength Vegemite and lettuce on fresh bread...yummy

My Dad has sardines and strawberry jam/jelly on toast. (I'm 43 and still refuse to try it :puke


Vegemite

sanc

Thank you, Pickle, for inducting me into the club.

In return, I would like to honour the food of God's by encouraging you all to view this, Ali G - BLTs (it's well funny, innit).

(The BLTs are talked about at 2mins 40secs)

Master Fett & Master Pickle,

I would like to take this opportunity to submit a sub-motto for the American Chapter and seek approval for same.

Sub-motto: 'Pile It On'

As we already have many Americans members using this phrase (unintentionally of course) in its current unapproved state, it would be a sad state of affairs for them to be banned for this infraction.

I would also like to add that I am looking forward to this year’s World Convention with Leek on my breath.