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Fett and Pickles ATS sandwhich club

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posted on May, 20 2006 @ 06:30 AM

Originally posted by optimus fett

Marto's got a very valid point here.......mock us.....and suffer the consequences.

if i made a list of the people i know whove lost limbs through 'over buttering' you would be shocked.

However Marto, rest assured that a payment is on its way from our 'member protection' fund to ease your suffering and assist in your medical care and rehabiliitation....i know you'll never walk again but just like in the 'Great Sandwhich Wars' of 96'...."we dont leave our people behind"

Thank you Mr.Fett ,I still flinch everytime i see a sandwich being butterd with a steak knife :shk:

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 06:45 AM
I have just arrived at the UK based 'Sandwich Awareness Research Center' based here in sunny Liverpool, what a surprise i got. There have been some Major sandwich making skills displayed here. I would just like to take this time to welcome you all to the club... your packs are in the post.

But as with everything there are downsides too, we have had 2 unfortunate incidents recently were unwarranted bread based products were mentioned. Yes i know these are unacceptable, so as a result of this we will be increasing patrols looking for these products.

I would like to announce two new net based courses we will be running soon:

1) 'know your preserves' Ever wondered what to do with your Pickles, this course shows you whats what - course duration is 2 days with a sandwich lunch provided.

2) 'handling soggy butty syndrome' Ever lost a sandwich due to sogginess? not no more, we will show you how to save them. But remember prevention is better the cure. - course duration is 3 days with a sandwich lunch provided.

Anyone interested should drop me of FETT a U2U. Places are limited so be quick.

OH and Xeroxed, :shk: just :shk:. I expected more from you man, but with our help i think there is hope for you.

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 06:55 AM

OH and Xeroxed, just . I expected more from you man, but with our help i think there is hope for you.

ummmm......actually Grand Wizard pickle...i think hes too far gone.

If we could have noticed the 'signs' earlier we may have been in with a chance but its looking doubtful.

Id like to take this oppurtunity to remind members to keep a close eye on younger members....the power of the baguette is not to be underestimated.....baguettes lead to fear..fear leads to hate...and ultimatley hate leads to the Baguette.

Once under its spell forever will it dominate your destiny.

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 07:14 AM
bacon and fried potato butties -- the ULTIMATE breakfast sarnie

smoked rindless back bacon -- grilled , NOT fried -- its got to be dry cure top quality bacon , not the soggy crap they sell in tesco

maris piper spuds , cooked for 4 minuites in the microwave - then sliced and ffried in olive oil till they are brown

served on fresh whole grain bread -- with paprika to taste

that ladies and gents is brekkie heaven

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 07:20 AM

i KNOW ITS HORRIBLE.....but spread the word.....

these baguettes were destroyed immediatley after this shot was taken....

fortunatley casualties were limited, these baguettes had been skirting the fringes of the sandwhich under world for several months un noticed...

Lets remember to stay vigillant.

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 07:22 AM
Baggetes are the enemy ,lol

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 07:25 AM
APE i would just like to take this opportunity to welcome you to the club.

Olive oil? Paprika?, ppl here we have a man who has managed to bring style and sophistication into the realm of sandwich making.

again heed the warning of not stretching beyond your abilities when making butties. I had a freind lose an eye when he misused a Paprika dispenser. :shk: Poor guy cant squirt mayo no more, lost all depth perception :shk:

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 08:40 AM
I thank the Grand Masters for their offer of membership, but due to the work of my elusive brethren, will not be able to attend any public meetings as we need to maintain our covertness.

We have been working for some 3 years, infiltrating rogue units making claims that the first sandwich was in fact invented, in the Middle East, some six months earlier to the aforementioned date.

This is clearly an affront to our Devonshire farmer, and holds no merit.

If the truth be told what was actually invented was the Whichsand and derived from the use of sand instead of mud as explained earlier by our esteemed Grand Master. Offering no real cohesion sand was deemed a complete failure and our Middle Eastern friends were left pondering which sand to use.

We are also investigating claims regarding the recently released pentagon footage. It is quite obvious that this is an attempt at mis-information as we have known for sometime that the French have been supplying our disgruntled Middle Eastern friends with a copious consignment of Baguettes and, dare I mention it, French Bread.

Other ongoing investigations
Chips in Pitta Bread
and the use of sweet products such as Jam, conserves and other fruit based products.

Report to follow.

Rest assured that those who have chosen to offend are now being dealt with by my elusive brethren....I will say no more than Baguettes and rear orifices.

[edit on 20-5-2006 by Koka]

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 08:56 AM
From: Dr. Vladimir Timski
The Laboratory of the Utility Sandwich Research Kitchen

I have begun a program of research into the fusion of unstable exotic ingredient-elements by the use of catalysts formed from polymerised condiment compounds. So far the experiments have proved successful, and have yeilded small amounts of 'heavy sandwich'.

The first problem was the construction of a Breville Reactor, necessary to generate the temperatures required for the ingredient-fusion process. Fortunately, it has been discovered that the essential components are attainable on the Eastern European black-market. Once the reactor had been built and tested to perform within the required critical parameters, the ingredient-assembly process was begun.

The ingredient-assembly stage involved the procurement of PotNoodle-235, a highly volatile snack-substance that has to be contained in specially constructed non-reactive vessels. This was then combined with a supplied reagent and water at 80degrees C. It must be noted however, that the addition of the activation agent (in the case of PN-235, a synthetic soy derivative) must be made very gradually whilst slowly adding the heated water, as the process will produce volumes of toxic 'chicken&mushroom' gasses. Once allowed to cool to 40-50degrees C, the soy-enrichment process will have yeilded the transition from unstable PN-235 to a more stable form, PotNoodle-238.

Once this stage was complete, two sheets of bread were coated with condiment-compound, using saladcream for the top portion and ketchup for the lower portion. It has been found that bread slices that have undergone the 'Warburton' process gave greater tensile cohesion under the extreme temperatures of the reaction process. The next step is critical to the fusion process. The inner portion of bread layers were double-lined with Kraft, a polymerised dairy product, with care made to ensure the Kraft layers extend to the edges or the bread-slices. The lower slice was then placed inside the primed reactor chamber.

The now-enriched PotNoodle-238 was carefully transferred from its reaction-vesel onto the lower bread layer and covered with the upper slice of bread. This proved to be the most dangerous stage of the process as the combined ingredients begin to react upon contact. Once the reactor-chamber has been loaded and sealed, the ingredient-fusion process takes approximately 5 minutes.

Extreme caution must be exercised to constantly monitor the fusion process, as ingredient-meltdown can occur if left unattended with disastrous consequences, as demonstrated with the failure of Breville-Reactor No4 at the Russian Savory Research Facility some years ago

After the ingredient reaction-process is complete, the chamber can be opened, taking great care in handling as a great amount of heat is generated during fusion. If the process has been successful, the 'heavy sandwich' produced will sustain enough energy to power a small villiage, with the equivalent to 5KiloSavouries (5,000 sandwiches)

Note: Further to the outcomes of this and related experiments into Theoretical-Savouries, It has been proposed to develop and build a working LCC (Large Condiment Collider) to conduct further research into exotic fillings

[edit on 20-5-2006 by timski]

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 11:04 AM
we had Newton, Einstein, hawking and now Timski.

My sandwich skills are no match for this group!!!!

But my favorite is two slices of warburtons thick sliced bread with lots of butter, a large slice of rump steak lightly peppered, chips and fried onion rings!!!!

Goes down a treat with a beer!!!!

But only allow yourself one of these on special occasions!!

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 11:37 AM

I have begun a program of research into the fusion of unstable exotic ingredient-elements by the use of catalysts formed from polymerised condiment compounds. So far the experiments have proved successful, and have yeilded small amounts of 'heavy sandwich'.

Excellent work Dr Timski!

As you can see fellow Sandwhich Enthusiasts, our group is at the fore front of sandwhich development and members like DR Timski continue to push the boundries of sandwhich safety well on into the coming years.

Yes lives will be lost, ......Yes there will have to be personal sacrafices......but the future is one rich wth flavour and fillings exceeding our wildest dreams.

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 11:42 AM

We have been working for some 3 years, infiltrating rogue units making claims that the first sandwich was in fact invented, in the Middle East, some six months earlier to the aforementioned date.

Koka...keep up the good work soldier.

Its dangerous times like these that our group needs to remember people like Koka and his team....Ghost like soldiers drifting through the night like mist....the unsung heros of our society on the front line.

Next time you have a sandwhich...say a little prayer for koka and his men....for without them....the sandwhich nor its enthusiasts has any future.

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 03:00 PM
You guys are making me hungry, im 2lazy to read everything, but a good sandwhich is honey ham, roasted turkey, portabello mushrooms, lettuce, sour kosher pickels, and wheat bread, k. lol. Very basic, actually i think i might make one now

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 04:32 PM
Please dont keep me waiting...............Have I made in to your illustrious group!!!

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 04:58 PM
yes you and nast have both made the grade, welcome to the group. Ur pacs are in the post.

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 06:20 PM
Shouldn't there be a code of conduct posted so all the inductees dont have to suffer the humiliation, shame and total loss of self respect, I just experienced.

such as.............

1. never mention the bag word!
2. never mention the other bag word!
3. proper selection and use of utensils.
4. approved head wear..........
5. sweet vs. sour
6. plagiarism of others intellectual property
7. geographical issues
8. gender specific sandwich problems
9. proper use of the sausage
10. personal hygiene

just a few off the top of my head............

[edit on 20-5-2006 by whaaa]

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 06:30 PM
Loving this thread oh great sandwich masters Fett & Pickle! Such a simple thing that the world soooo needed and now by the great foresight of these two has been finally brought to the frontline of discussion and awareness.

The sandwich is the only meal that can be complete unto itself. It is the only thing that can stand alone and incorporate even the entire food pyramid into one complete meal. Let's hear it for Fett & Pickel and the great Sandwich Club!

I know I cannot live up to any of the initial initiates with my contribution, but I humbly submit the following for your consideration:

When you need a filling meal - All time quick and easy stunning sandwich:

Rye Bread (the real authentic soft NY Jewish rye with a chewy crust & seeds of course). Medium rare roast beef, roasted turkey, a good swiss cheese, red onion (all thinly sliced) & tomato. Russian Dressing ONLY!

By the way - don't even say "whole grain" when it comes to a sandwich and my book.:bash: I want flavor holding my sandwich together, not stuff getting stuck in my teeth, though I obviously make an exception for a good Rye.

When you just need something to tide you over - All time quick and easy light sandwich:

Really soft but substanial white bread, ever so lightly toasted. Tomato & cheese with mayo. By the way, it's my personal feeling that sprouts and lettuce belong in salads not sandwiches.

And now for the one that may be out of line, but I'm sorry - it's my all time comfort food and though it requires a jam, it is only acceptable with Smuckers:

Cream Cheese and Smuckers grape (again on very lightly toasted white). Must have a tall glass of milk with it.

posted on May, 20 2006 @ 07:38 PM
I'll begin.

Remember Allison's (Allie Sheedy) sandwich from "The Breakfast Club" ?

We don't see the whole sandwich, but she opens the bread, removes a slimy slice of what is probably Oscar Meyer pimento loaf ( *hurl!*) and tosses it over her head where it sticks to a statue.

Then, it appears she has a layer of peanut butter on whole wheat. She adds a layer of Cap'n Crunch Breakfast Cereal, followed by the contents of 3 opened Pixie Stix. She mashes it back together and eats.

Now, I know what you're thinking . . . .

But let's move on; what does her character's sandwich mean?

The Nascent Goth culture, replacing the dull parental pimento loaf with the pure sugar adreniline rush of Candy?

Or is it an embrace of consumer culture, this adding of cold breakfast cereal to a sandwich?

Or is it supposed to evoke images of mania and depravity, adding Cap'n Crunch, the peanut putter cereal, to a Peanut butter sandwich? And if so, what kind of abusive parent sent her to school with a "peanut butter and pimiento loaf sandwich???"


posted on May, 20 2006 @ 10:08 PM
Here's my ideal sandwich. I call it...the LayZ sandwich.

It involves scottish mature chedder, smoky ham, 4-6 slices of white bread (brown optional) the George Foreman grill (The Next Grilliation version).

First, cut the mature chedder into roughly equal sizes, and place on bread.
Same with ham
Put in Foreman grill, and wait till it's grilled then wah la. The LayZ sandwich.
So simple, yet so tasty.

posted on May, 21 2006 @ 10:04 AM
I have just popped in to welcome some new people to the club:

Relentless - very nice sandwich

dr_strangecraft - although there out of the movies, i like your boldness with the breakfast one

MacDonagh - Tis a simple one, but i love the use of the Foreman grill so your in.

Your packs are on there way.

OH and for all the people interested, were showing the movie 'The Lord of the Rolls' for all you fans out there.

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