11 year old mother in Britain

Come to think of it, I feel sorry for the girl. SHE RUINED HER WHOLE LIFE!

Originally posted by Russian soldier
if I find out about this happening in Russia, I will be very very sad

Please tell me you are not thinking that this sort of thing HAS'NT happened in Russia yet? I'm sure we all could find news articles on kids way younger than that getting into not so nice situations in not just your country, but every country.

As you say, it happens all over the world and on this occasion it just so happens to be the UK thats in the spotlight for it. I agree a lot of the time it is the parents to blame, however there comes a time when it's not always so easy to know what your kids are doing, where they are and who they are with. You just want to hope and pray they are in with the right crowd and they are totaly honest about thier activities away from you, and if they are 100% honest i'd be very suprised. Even the most polite, disciplined of kids can go off the rails at a very young age.

Census, i know i've been slated for making this assumption before but i take it you don't have kids yet? Apologies if i am wrong, but after a post like that i'd imagine i am right. Yes it's not right that this has happened, and yes the mum does'nt exactly seem that responsible either, but you still don't treat people as if they were a piece of dirt. One thing i've learnt in life is that you should try your best not judge people straight away on what you see and hear. Theres always another story and sometimes that story kind of makes the tragedy of the situation seem more understandable. I looked after kids in care for 7 years and it could have been easy to target them because of thier actions, yet when you looked at thier homelife and history, you kind of understood why they'd become so messed up.

I pray your kids don't find themselves in a difficult situation like this one day, what chance would they have knowing they'd be instantly sterilysed and put in a yard of puppies!

CX.

[edit on 19/5/06 by CX]

Saw this story in the paper the other day , im sure that the boy has been charged with sex offences , and will have to sign on the sex offenders registar.
ill try and find a link later.

theese type of stories are becoming quite commen here , I saw on the other day about the youngest boy on the sex offenders registar, think he was either 12 or 13 , and was done for groping some little girl , sad.

I wouldnt blame the girl, she is only 11 !!!
And she was drunk. This is the parents 100% !!
Smoking too......

Im sure there are worse cases, just
not in the media.

The problem, according to reports, is that her mother (her father lives elsewhere), openly smokes Heroin in the kitchen, and has little time for her daughters. The 11 year old has spent much of her life looking after her younger siblings. The picture of her shows her sprawled on the settee with a full ashtray laying on her heavily pregnant belly.

The boy slept with her because "she was wearing a tiny skirt, drunk and looked like a 16 year old tart". The boys mother agrees, and says he's done nothing wrong. They "did it" at a party at that boy's house, while his mother was there.

Where were the social services? This girl should have been taken from her mother a long time ago, and given a better chance at life. There's a culture of apathy regarding things like this IMO at the moment, everyone goes "Ooh, ahh", but the cycle continues anyway, and situations like this are seen as "normal" to the people involved. This isn't an isolated incident, she just happens to be one of the ones who got pregnant. Society in the UK has got some real dark spots, and this is one of them. It's no longer good enough to ignore them just because you don't want to recognize that there is a growing "underclass" that needs help and attention, because if it is allowed to continue, I fear for our future generations. When I say "underclass", I'm not talking soical status, I'm talking a growing number of people who are so out of touch with "right and wrong" that they seem to have alien minds, seeing no problem with stamping on an old womans head for a fiver, or setting fire to a homeless man and videotaping it. Mothers that see no problem in allowing their 11 year old daughters to smoke 20 a day and go to parties, drunk and dressed like a "tart". It's a serious problem that isn't just in the Tabloids, it's in most streets.

I don't say "Underclass" in an "I'm better than you" way either, I'm talking about people who went through the education system knowing/thinking there was nothing in it for them and giving up on life early. There is little work for them, so shouting "get a job" is uselss. The education system is failing kids, IMO, and we are raising more and more without hope. If the social services didn't pick up on the fact that an 11 year old girl was smoking 20 a day, looking after her baby siblings while her mother smoked heroin, then they too have failed, and we need to be giving more thought to how we can help these people out of these situations before it gets to this kind of point.

I don't have any real solutions, but I know that we need to do something, other than being shocked.

Twenty cigarettes a day. I'm shocked.

The rest of the story is pretty standard stuff, though. Listen to a few old English folk songs, for example, and you'll see that this kind of thing isn't exactly new.

A relative of mine used to live on a housing estate in Morden years ago. She says the sight of 13- and 14-year-olds pushing prams was quite common there.

Incidentally, Prophet Mohammed's last wife, Alia, was only eight or nine years old when he married her. Fact.

Originally posted by ProudCanadian
. An eleven year old CAN'T give real consent.

Very true. She's too young to fully understand the seriousness of
the situation. Heck ... she probably has no clue.

The parents are culpable too, as is the 15 year old boy. Even he
doesn't fully understand at age 15 what is going on. But he
understands more than an 11 year old.

This is a mess. I pity the baby - if he/she lives through everything.

This is not an uncommon occurance, i live in scotland (where this girl is from) and have many frinds who are doctors, the stories i have heard from them about the number of teenage mums is frankly scary.

The fact that her mother is proud is a very sad indication of the sort of mother she is, i think she will be thinking of the extra benifit cheque she will get for this new baby in the house.

Makes me sad that these kids don't really stand a chance of having any chance of a normal life, kids learn so much from their parents, these kids don't stand a chance.

I also have friends who are school teachers, the stories she has heard from the kids, the parents openly taking drugs in front of them, having sex in front of them, etc. No interest in going out to work, because the benifit system means they don't have to.

i could go on all day......................

This is just so sad it makes me want to cry. That poor child. Think what her life has been like to behave like this. Her mother ought to be jailed. Little 11 year old girls should not even know what sex is. They should be just playing around with makeup and still acting like little girls.

I feel badly for the 15 year old boy too. He should not be charged as a sex offender.

It is just so sad. The mother is 100% to blame for the state of her child. I don't even allow my children to take a rude tone with me. I certainly wouldnt' allow smoking, drinking and sex!!!!

The mother should be brought up on child neglect, child endangerment, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

I think it is only in recent years that UK law made the change that having sex with an under 13 /14 year old was a more serious crime than before.
I have always puzzled over the fact that in the past that sex was taking place with those under the age of consent and nothing was done about it. In the seventies I can remember they were building an extension to a girls school and the pregnancy rate went up. The attitude then was "Way hay good on yer...well done my son." and "14 you lucky sod." etc.

I also remember that there was a lass who at 12 / 13 was known for her "interest" in male company. I us the term known in a biblical sense. She was put on the pill as early as poss. But strangely it was her sister, a good girl, who got pregnant before 16, after her first time, as usual.

IMHO if you are under the age of consent then you can not give consent therefore it is rape, there can be no grey area here.

I must confess the age of consent around the world can be a puzzling thing. Some paedophiles will justify their perversions because "She would be legal in country xyz". I hesitate to mention a country by name as it is a most confusing subject, depending on age, type of sex (M+M, F+F and M+F) and whether they are married. Go on do a google.

I think in the US it ranges from 14 to 18. I find it bizzare that you could cross the border and get banged up for doing the same act with the same person? Any clarification from our US friends?

I know in the UK that the age of consent relevant here is 16. So I suppose technically she could be done for having underage sex with him

Seriously though this lass has been failed by society, social workers and worst of all by her mum.
Where will it end? If the child does survive the birth and grows up what the 'eck will it be like. I can see sociology and psychology experts cueing up for that study.

That girl has been robbed of her innocence and her life.
I dont know, how often do you hear that the grand mum to be is "Proud". How in Brian Mays hair and cloggs can anyone be proud of this?

I suppose some would say education is the way. Look we have children who can barely do the simple essentials and its not because they are thick. There is just an apathy about them. I dont know. I reallty cant think that education is the problem here though. Can a 15 y.o. lad today really claim that he didnt think she would get pregnant? Just because she looked like a 16 y.o. tart did not mean that he had to do the deed without protection? OK so he was drunk. He should not be drunk at that age should he?

I feel one of the main problems these days is that there is very little responsibilty accepted by a lot of people for their deeds. "I am a junky so I am not responsible". " I am only 15 and having a laugh". "I am 11. Whats a pregnancy?"
Almost as bad is the fact that such behaviour is excused by parents and the "Were you not young once" brigade.
Yes I was young once. But MY parents cared about me and brought me up. They did not let me go amock for an easy life. I am not perfect, but I am proud of what my parents done for me and what I was allowed to get up to. Will the 12 y.o. or her child be proud of theirs?

Just my 2 Euro Cents

You cant blame the 15 year old for having sex with her, those of you who say otherwise ar eperhaps a little confused or jealous b/c im sure at 15 most of us if not all would have taken any oppurtunity to have sex. No he didnt know better thats just it otherwise she wouldnt be pregnant.

The blame clearly lies with the both of their parents, pure trash and I hope the govt doesnt pay a dime for any of it if the child and her child cant survive then its purely an example of survival of the fittest, the 15 year old father should haveto pay child support via his parents though, there case solved another derelict.
I geuss it is true that only the stupid people are breeding



[edit on 19-5-2006 by Desolate Cancer]

Hoo Boy! The mother of that child should be publicly whipped or left in the stocks for a couple of days. The 15 year old boy is guilty of statutory rape (rape with a person under the age of 14 or 16 - depending on where you live) and the girl is guilty of gross stupidity. It is really sad but, at the same time, I am not surprised as our children nowadays are exposed to way too much sex, violence and such everywhere they go - TV, film, advertisements, magazines. Goodness, I sound like my mother! But I must admit that I did lots of naughty things in my youth but at least it was slightly later in life than this poor girl. My mother always said that if I did too many things too quickly I would have nothing to look forward to as an adult. Needless to say I thought she was an old fuddy duddy trying to stop me from having "fun" but I now understand fully what she meant by that. Children are doing all their growing up and experiencing before the age of 16. No wonder there is so much teenage suicide - if you had already done everything "naughty" and experienced too much of life then what is there left to get excited about for your future? Just MHO.

lol wow..i allso find this to be disturbing and rather frustrating.Disturbing because its not right and its pretty discusting.frustrateing because it makes me mad that "children" of that age are doing things like that.I dont find it all that serpriseing tho,in todays world its something you can expect.

"Russian soldier" lol you seem to be really "mad" is the best word i can think of,about this.dont worry i share your disscust and sickness.I think of it this way maybe you guys should to.

It is her life and yes she has compleatley messed it up now and is continuing to do so.Her mother is obviousley a terribul parent.If she is proud of her kid for doing that then it go's to show you wut kind of person she is.Any parent with any sorta of commen sence,sole,heart,or love for there kid would be outraged over it.But she isent...

And I think the boy should be charged for it.However he should have to (be forced wood be better) take responsability for it and have to father the chield (sorry i cant spell it right)...Hears the part i hope you all agree on... especley "Russian soldier"

With any luck the girl will spend the rest of her life haveing a nearley imposable time dealing with all the trubles of haveing a kid at such young age.We can onley hope (and i pray) for the rest of her life she will have the hardest time! careing for this baby,working to pay for it and to care for it.I hope she has to deal with it alone (and the father) without support that in anyway befits them (getting money to take care of it).I hope for the rest of her and his life theay both feel shame and there soles are held heavy for the stupied!! thing theay have done.It is 1,000,000% there falt in every way! and for theat theay deserve in every way to sufer for it!.

Now dont get me wrong.If any kind of chield servises are willing to help them it should be onley for the baby.By theat i mean chield services gives dipers and baby food maybe some toys that sorta stuff.The 11year old girl and the boy she did it with should ahve to pay for everything else.Nothing at all should come to them theat will befit them.

All of you who read this should think about wut im going to say.If you are going to be STUPIED! and DO STUPIED! THINGS!! when bad things happon to you (and theay will) YOU! DESERVE EVERY BIT OF IT!! to the fullest extent.Commen sence is somthing most people no longer seem to have (my opinion) and this is a situation where commen sence should apply but because of the utter stupidity of people it did not.

TV and school and many others do a ok job of letting kids no wut is good and wut is bad.Theay tell you not to talk to strangers,not to do drugs,not to play with knives,not to smoke,not to steal not to have sex till you are older.For someone to say "she was to young to no diffronce" or say anything to imply her age couldbe used to support any sort of positive role for her is compleatley stupied.

School alone dose good enough job telling kids right from wrong there for she should have knolage enough to know this was wrong befor she did it.But she did it anyway and now she has to deal with it.As for the boy.Well he should have to face the fact he had sex with a LITTLE GIRL and now she is going to have his baby.I wish there faces could be showed to the hole country in shame so theat all who see them will think less of them and laugh at there stupidity.

I think theay deserve worse then this but i cant say it on hear because i dont wanna get in truble (again).Ya no...a part of me thinks chances of the baby even serviveing are probley pretty slim,maybe if it dies at birth the girl the boy and her mother will feel bad and realize wut theay did.In witch case i hope it rots on there sole for ever as a reminded to them and all of us

IF YOUR GOING TO DO STUPIED THINGS!! AND BAD STUFF HAPPONS TO YOU THEN YOU DESERVE IT!!!shut up and suck it up!we can all lern from that no exeptions no excuses.

sry for bad spellin

In my opinion, there is nothing to feel sorry about here. Two individuals with no honor took the path of adults early on, and ended up where they should not be. It was their choice for these things to happen, or so we hear. I am 15, and yes I think about sex, but not with 11 year olds, and further more even if the opportunity arose, I woulden't take it.

You are not meant to have kids at this age for something as shallow as "the good feeling of being inside...", but I guess that is your karma. Nobody should be angry at these people for what they did, they should be angry at themselves, and the best way to show our anger is to see past them whenever they stand infront of us.

The world is only what you make it.

Btw: I have to say that the kid, the 11 year old, should have enough of a mind to see what she is doing wrong, no matter if the parent approves of her. And the 15 year old as well.

[edit on 19-5-2006 by Volatile]

Kids know what is taught to them. Obviously the 11 year old was acting on what she learned. It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes one parent to screw up that child.

Originally posted by Desolate Cancer
You cant blame the 15 year old for having sex with her, those of you who say otherwise ar eperhaps a little confused or jealous b/c im sure at 15 most of us if not all would have taken any oppurtunity to have sex. No he didnt know better thats just it otherwise she wouldnt be pregnant.

[edit on 19-5-2006 by Desolate Cancer]

Are you serious? OF course we CAN blame the 15 year old. The girl was 11 years old. 11! my goodness, she's still a child. I'm sorry, but when you're 15 years old you know not to "mess around" with child. Find a girl who is 14-15, but not 11.

I blame the Parents of both of these "children" first. Secondly I blame the boy.

I have a daughter who is 13, she'll be 14 in July. This is a nightmare for me, I'm so worried about her. However, I have some confidence in her that she will make good decisions. I know for a fact that her mother has had the "talk" with her and so have I. ( whew that was quite a day )...

God Bless all the children... and the parents to Teach them well.

Originally posted by Volatile
In my opinion, there is nothing to feel sorry about here. Two individuals with no honor took the path of adults early on, and ended up where they should not be. It was their choice for these things to happen, or so we hear.

Btw: I have to say that the kid, the 11 year old, should have enough of a mind to see what she is doing wrong, no matter if the parent approves of her. And the 15 year old as well.

[edit on 19-5-2006 by Volatile]

Wrong. The 11 year old was drunk. Maybe, I say again, Maybe she had no control of the situation. She could have been taken advantage of, we may never know what really happened that night.

sad situation, very sad.

Yes she was drunk.

As I understand UK law, now if you have carnal knowledge of someone who is drunk, then in law, they were not able to give consent / permission.
If consent cannot be obtained, then any sexual act is nonconsensual. Therefore any penetrative act would be rape, sodomy etc.

So aside from the obvious age issues there is also the issue of consent. We will soon be in a situation where we will have to get written consent 48 hours or more before the deed, written in legaleeze so that the parties cant wriggle out of it. I am joking I think

The issue of consent is a whole new can of worms though. What if mid way through acting on the contract, one party changes her mind, during the gentlemans vinegar strokes for example.

I doubt that naming and shaming would help, as in the case of asbos this kind of behaviour has become a badge of honour for certain types of people and is an example of the dumbing down and degradation of our values and of society in general.

In all honesty whearas I'm wary of removing all responsibility or blame from the kids that do these and other irresponsible acts, it has to be said that to test the boundaries is something that juveniles have always done, the difference now is there is no longer any effective block, balances or checks in place from society or from the adults around them. We've become equally obssesed with 'rights', no matter how spurious and liable to have negative implications, and fearful of being seen to try and enforce some reasonable standard upon those unwilling to follow them.

As much as my instinctive values sway towards the liberal, I fear unless we don't start drumming up some pretty draconian measures and applying them sensibly everything is going to go to pot.

My view on it is simple really. I believe that society is to blame for this. For failing a generation and ghettoising them, this is actually becoming more common. Expect to see more of this.