So when does the chit-chat start? Right now!

I would like to turn the lounge into a Beatnik chill pad for a few moments while I read a poem (with my soul patch and Wayfarers on):

The New Round-Headed Boy

He's new in town
And known in town
As the round-headed boy

You can see his picture
Head's not quite right
There's scars from the helmet

Short attention span
Low IQ compared to you
And me so sorry

Me so sorry
For the round-headed guy
Packin' groceries at Safeway

The short bus
Is the safe way to school
He wears a diaper

He gets a diaper discount
At the Safeway
Or couldn't leave the house

Whenever he leaves
You're not sure he'll return
New round-headed feller

We could be friends
But he smells
He smells like soup

He's new in town
And known in town
As the round-headed boy


edit to add: if you dig it, please snap your fingers. No clapping.

[edit on 30-5-2008 by Excitable_Boy]

Wow man, "he smells like soup" wow man, that's all I can say.

snap * snap * snap * snap *
I dig it, man.

this place
that we call Lounge Noir
exists as a
buffet and bar

enter all who are lost
you will be found
divest of your mind and soul
you will leave lost
and return to be found

this place
that we call Lounge Noir
exists as a
buffet and bar


Whaaa, I got a fever, and the only prescription is more bongos. Play on, man.



Carrot
Go past the hot tub. The pool will be on your right, behind the Italian cypress. Glad you had a great time in Las Vegas! Glad you didn't lose your shirt. You'll need it for the contests here.

Look at all this musical talent we have here at LN. Yes welcome home CA, keep your shirt handy....hit the bongos whaaa I feel the start of a song coming on

Snap, snap....1...2....3

LN has the best wet t-shirts in town...
No bigger bongos can be found
Take one down pass it around,
99 bottles of Nyquil on the ground....
(I need to work on this song some more later)

Whaaa...did you make the mess with all the Nyquil bottles? How many times have we asked you to Recycle the bottles? Look theres a few floating in the hot tub too. Wait till MrPenny sees this mess!!


[edit on 5/30/2008 by jensouth31]

What the heck is this? Lounge Noir turned into some kind of beatnik hangout?

Okay, I'm hip...and I'm digging it.

Aye,
A devil lives inside of me
He’s to blame
for the tempers, curses, and sometime
blunder……
He’s got a claim
on the wishes, fancies, and sometime
wonder……
He wants to know, right now
He wonders…..
what’s it smell like……
right behind your ears….?

Originally posted by MrPennyHe wonders…..
what’s it smell like……
right behind your ears….?

Soup of some kind.
creme of tomato
asparagus puree
Chickin Noodle
Stew of tha day?

What's it smell like behind the ears?

I think about that often and check it our regularly. Also, some other smelly places: the belly button (no matter how hard you try to keep that cave clean), arm pits of course, behind the knees, inside the ears, inside the nose, that eye cheese that collects in the corners (does it smell?), the butt crack (usually not as bad high as it is low), for a man: underneath the...eggs, and we can think of some other "adult" places that may, on ocassion, get skunky.

Then there's, toe cheese. That stuff can REEK!

How about people with rotting teeth talking to you at close range? WOO HOO! If you work with people like that it is always good to have plenty of gum and mints handy (for them, not for you). I could never be a dentist because the smell of plaque and decay would make me want to slit my wrists (maybe that is why they have a high suicide rate - it's the plaque smell NOT the being hated by everyone).

What about people that smell like they pooped their pants? I had a young kid working for me at one time and he smelled like he never wiped his ass. I finally had to tell him. THAT was awkward.

Funny, my wife had a young lady working for her that smelled so bad in the crotch, that other employees complained about it. My wife had to discuss this with her in her office. "Maybe you should see a doctor?...blah blah blah".......The sad thing is, she had to have the same talk with her again about a month later. The first time, my wife made it clear to her that she DID NOT want to have to discuss it again.

I had a friend years ago that had no sense of smell. NONE. I had never heard of such a thing. The sad thing was, he always had bad athlete's foot and could never smell how horrible it was. If he took his shoes off, it was all over. The house would smell like his feet for a week after he left. He was a good looking kid too. But....no one could get past those feet. They couldn't see his face for the feet.




edit to add: In re-reading my post, it occurred to me: it would have been great to set up my friend with no sense of smell with the young lady with the rotten crotch. There's a lid for every pot!

[edit on 30-5-2008 by Excitable_Boy]

Hi, guys! How's everyone this fine evening?
Say, I just ate the best buffet here ever! You guys should try it. Well, what's everyone talking about...oh....oh, yeck...

LOL Oh my goodness...

Desert, Yeah I made sure to keep my shirt on, I didn't want to lose it in some Random Hotel Room..I KNEW I would need it for the Contests! Well, im gonna head off to the Pool and see what we need for the Contest....aside from Girls & Pails of Water.

Oh yeah, Volunteers to Pour the Water? Any takers?
And...whose all participating?

MrPenny, do you have some LN T-Shirts we could borrow? That would be classy...it'd be like advertising!

Yes, I do have experience poring water in wet T shirt contest. The bass players are renowned the entire world over for knowing the exact placement of H2o or other liquid for the maximum benefit and exposure of the female breast. It doesn't matter the shape, size or inclination; Although covered with a thin layer of cloth, bass players know exactly how to make the horn dogs howl and slap the bar in excitement and glee. It must be genitic or something.

We are also excellent referees in jello wrestling, topless volleyball and keeping VIP rooms from turning into something that might require law enforcement officials from turning up and popping the participants. Does under age ring a bell?

Besides keeping the bottom end for the band [wankers]we can usually hold our likker and nyquil in my case [jeez, I'm sorry about that jen] and can be counted on to be counted on.

I just finnished up a coffee house gig and thanks to the cappiccianno I could be here all nite. Please don't....uh oh....

LOL Whaa! Well I'd ask for references but I'm sure you'll do great, Ill just take your word for it that you're experienced. You can be the offical "Head Water Pourer for Maximum Exposure" for the first contest... any more takers? Come on, its gonna be a fun one!

What about Participants...any volunteers?

*Searching for LN T-Shirts*

- Carrot

Ps. Its been kinda quiet in here for a bit...where'd everyone go?

Hmmm........ water pourer, eh?


I suppose if it's for the good of the contest I could help out.......


I could be a judge too, just as long as nobody tries to win my vote! ;-)

titan, you show up just at the right time! Do we have any more Meyers rum? I prefer the dark rum. Tell MrP to order a case, in case we're running low. Oh, and do we have enough cola and Key limes?

Could I buy you a drink, or is that considered influencing a judge?

CA, are you taking any courses over the summer? How did your school year go? Both my sons graduated in May! I'm a richer woman. In fact, I'll buy everyone here a LN dinner buffet! Uh, I gotta pay my tab here, so buy your own drinks for the buffet. CA, how far are you from Kamloops?

Anyone see Whaaa around lately? Maybe he's busy acting. Hey, I know...
E_B, E_B

E_B, could you make a star for Whaaa? A star to put in the walkway here? Hollywood should not be the only place to have a Walk of Fame! LN should start one, and Whaaa should be the first recipient!

OMG, if Jen shows up, I'll have to ask her if she remembers when Lucy and Ethel took John Wayne's star. That was so funny! Whaaa, I promise we'll leave yours there.

A star for me!! Oh, thank you and I want to thank all the little people out there that helped me get where I am today. Under a goddamn dodge van trying to replace the goddamn water pump.

Actually I have been "on set" as the Californicators say. Working on a Documentary for the History Channel on the Dust bowl. Wardrobe had me dressed up like a geezer in wool pants, vest, brograns, suspenders and floppy felt hat. And Im here to tell you with the temp at 95 and wind machines blowing manmade dirt and dust it made for a gnarrly afternoon.
I would have been a prime canidate for wet Tshirt after that.

Next "Sex and Lies in Sin City" not sure what I will be cast as. Probably just a background extra.

Did y'all see me in "Breaking Bad?" all 5 seconds of me.

There.....I gave whaaa a star!

Sorry but the wife is in my face to cook the steaks rare....not well. I will have to return a bit later and I promise not to discuss parts of the body and the way they smell, or what they are capable of smelling like, at times.....like while dressed like an old geezer in 95 degree weather wearing too much clothing ALL DAY.....ouch!

Squires and Squirettes......as always, a pleasure. For all of you!

reply to post by whaaa


Whaaa! I feel like Lucille in Arrested Development whenever she sees Gene Parmesan!
:w: Oh no! Whaaa, I meant the star to be a secret! Sigh...loose lips sink ships...

Here's what you do...you hold up that water pump and say, "Thank you to all who made this possible!" You see, that's what I do after MrD has fixed our truck. He is simply a genius and can fix anything dealing with a car or computer. That man is truly my soul partner in Life.

Bah! Californicators!...I've heard that before! And I tried to tell my ex it wasn't technically fornication...it was adultery...

Anyway, the Dust Bowl program sounds neat. Having lived at various ends of the route those people took, I can appreciate all the Arkies and Okies I've had the pleasure to meet.
How 'bout wet briefs? Might help to get a big part for "Sex and Lies in Sin City". Need me to pour water?

Sorry to say that I didn't catch you in Breaking Bad I looked, but at my age a blink takes more than 5 seconds, so I missed you!

reply to post by Excitable_Boy


You are so funny!
Love Whaaa's star!
I don't know about rare steaks. My mom loved steak tartar. Repulsive stuff. Regardless what chefs say, my steak should be well.
Mange!

Dib dib....

Greetings. You will not believe what happened. I left to find the steaks on fire and the grill temp gauge pinned at 999 degrees (Hi God)....but seriously.....they were briquettes. I had to cook two frozen steaks and assure the wife that it was okay to do that (as I have done for years now)....

She did not see the humor in this event at all. She added up the cost of the steaks. I told her to eat them if she was so concerned about the waste. We had a good meal and I had a good laugh. Life is so full of structure, routine, etc....it would be depressing without some spontaneous nonsense, burnt steaks and mayhem!

Men and women....so different.

Steak! The other black meat!
Steak! It was for dinner!
Steak!



Edit to add: The missus has asked me to ask the patrons of the Lounge Noir to take up a collection for the steaks. Whatever you can spare. Thank you guvs and guvs' gals......

reply to post by Excitable_Boy


I did this just to see if I could reply to myself....

Question: Have any of you heard of the singer Flacido Dongmingo?

Gracias!

Yes, well, there is such a thing as too well done steaks. Look, maybe just bring your wife over to LN on Steak Night, and Jeeves can grill her up a good steak. You two can sit at the romantic table by the Koi pond and not only enjoy each others company but a rare steak as well. ....ooh, boy, a perfectly cooked steak does sound rare at E_B's house...oops, did I say that?...

E_B, why would you want to reply to yourself? Isn't that a little like...like...I hate to say this, but, like talking to oneself? If you start replying to yourself, we might have to...I don't know what we would do...anyone know what we should do with someone at LN who starts replying to himself? Mumbling drunk in the corner is one thing, but to actually carry on a conversation would...:bash:

Flacido Dongmingo. Yes, I think I attended his concert once. According to him, he was supposed to be a good singer, but even after much singing, he was always flat. Left me a little disappointed in his performance.