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So when does the chit-chat start? Right now!

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posted on Jun, 15 2007 @ 05:20 PM
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Hey whaaa...let's do a duet man. I've got the perfect song: "Bitchin' Camaro" by The Dead Milkmen. The Karaoke guy is ready to que it up man.....here goes:

EB - Hey Whaaa, what's happenin'?
Whaaa - Oh, I don't know.
EB - Well, rumor around town says you think you might be heading down to the shore.
W - Uh, yeah, I think I'm goin' down to the shore.
EB - Whatcha gonna do down there?
W - Uh, I don't know, play some video games, buy some Def Leppard t-shirts.
EB - Hey, don't forget to get your Motley Crue t-shirt, y'know, all proceeds go to get their lead singer out of jail.
W - Uh huh.
EB - Hey, you gonna check out the Sandbar while you're there?
W - Uh, what's the Sandbar?
EB - Oh, it's this place that lets sixteen year-old kids drink.
W - Oh, cool.
EB - Y'know who's gonna be there?
W - Uh, who?
EB - My favorite cover band, Crystal Ship.
W - Oh.
EB - Yeah, they do a Doors show, you'd be really impressed, in fact, it goes a little like this:

Love me two times baby
Love me twice today
Love me two times girl
Cause I got AIDS
Love me two times baby, once for tomorrow, once cause I got AIDS

Whaaa - Wow, Pretty good Jim Morrison impersonation there.
EB - Yeah, I hope those guys have a good sense of humor and don't take us to court.
W - Uh, what's the court?
EB - Never mind that,
W - Oh, you mean like the People's Court?
EB - Well, that's another story; the important thing here is you gotta ask me how I'm gonna get down to the shore.
W - Uh, how you gonna get down to the shore?
EB - Funny you should ask, I've got a car now.
W - Oh wow, how'd you get a car?
EB - Oh my parents drove it up here from the Bahamas.
W - You're kidding!
EB - I must be, the Bahamas are islands, okay, the important thing now, is that you ask me what kind of car I have.
W - Uh, what kinda car do ya' got?
EB - I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO!

BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
I ran over my neighbors
BITCHIN CAMARAO, BITCHIN CAMARO
Now it's in all the papers.
My folks bought me a BITCHIN CAMARO with no insurance to match;
So if you happen to run me down, please don't leave a scratch.
I ran over some old lady one night at the county fair;
And I didn't get arrested, because my dad's the mayor.
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
Doughnuts on your lawn
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
Tony Orlando and Dawn
When I drive past the kids, they all spit and cuss,
Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO and they have to ride the bus.
So you'd better get out of my way, when I run through your yard;
Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO;
And an Exxon credit card.
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
Hey, man where ya headed?
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
I drive on unleaded.


YES! Thank you. Okay, thanks for the help whaaa. I feel like I'm hogging the mic, so I'm gonna go sit in the corner and have a turkey pot pie....somebody get up and sing something.....

[edit on 15-6-2007 by Excitable_Boy]




posted on Jun, 16 2007 @ 12:23 AM
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My, that was great fun E_B! And many thanks for that Devo tune; those guys were really something werent they.

Look everyone, it's Molly Udders. Molly would you like to sing that song we collaborated on back in the trailer?

Molly.....Sure whaaa

ok then a1 a2 aaa3

Grandpa dumped in his overalls
Grandma thinks he's nuts
unroll the garden hose
and hose that rascal down
hose that rascal down boys
hose that rascal down

Spray grandpa with oven cleaner
he's startin to stink pretty good
oops his skin is turning pink now
wash it off quick now
oh no I think we waited to long

Grandpa is running in circles
he thinks he's gonna die
fire up the pickup grandma
I hope the emergency rooms open
hurry grandma hurry
his skin is gettin flaky
hurry grandma hurry

Ha Ha we fooled grandma
It werent oven cleaner
It was jus Scrubbin Bubbles
And grandpas OK.

Ha Ha Ha Ha I love that song

Molly....Me too whaaa, Ha Ha Ha Ha

Hey, Desert, Jen why don't you gals team up with Molly here and sing something by the Dixie Chicks or GoGos or a Lita Ford tune?

[edit on 16-6-2007 by whaaa]



posted on Jun, 16 2007 @ 12:36 AM
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This place is still open for business?!?!?

Maybe I should make a big neon sign for out front like this one.




posted on Jun, 16 2007 @ 09:58 PM
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Cheers to Mechanic for LN's new sign!!! A work of art

Neon Martinis are on the house for the next two hours. Make it two days.

Jen, what will we sing? Whaaa's suggestions?



posted on Jun, 24 2007 @ 05:39 PM
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whaaa and Molly...that was a great tune. Thank you so much.

I would now like to sing a great song from the movie "The Meaning of Life" called "Every Sperm is Sacred"

Okay...gimme a C, a bouncy C:


There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine! And mine! And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!


Thank you. Thank you!! Please...keep your seats. Drinks for everyone. I'll have a Monster M-80...and give everyone else whatever they want barkeep!!

*lights up a Monte Cristo...Cuban of course and sits in the corner*



posted on Jun, 25 2007 @ 05:15 PM
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Sorry guys I wasn't paying attention! Sometimes I think that bar tender is slipping something in my drink before he has me help him take inventory in the back room. I have huge patches of time that seems to go missing??? You should see all the liquor in the back room though, boy there is lots and lots of it! We should really get a cat around here...I saw a mouse back there.

EB...what the heck kind of song is that? Sometimes your sense of humor perplexes me.

Desert I think we should SING!....just get up and sing whatever comes to mind. You lead and I'll follow...I'm a great back-up singer.

I'm feeling a bit tart today! No, you boys may NOT call me a tart
How about a Lemon Drop Carlos... and NO! I don't want to see any white powder in my drink either because I don't really believe you when you tell me it's sugar.


Sing Desert Sing.............

Nice neon sign Mechanic....I like it very much



posted on Jun, 25 2007 @ 08:56 PM
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Originally posted by jensouth31
... and NO! I don't want to see any white powder in my drink either because I don't really believe you when you tell me it's sugar.


I never said it was sugar. More like a special sweetener made just for you.
Perhaps I will stick around and start looting the well stocked back room. Someone has to drink it all!

I guess I will just sit back, enjoy a drink and watch some kareoke. Just don't hurt my ears please!



posted on Jun, 25 2007 @ 09:05 PM
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ST.... I always had a suspicion that it was a special sweetner just for me. But don't you know I'm already sweet enough

Come on...let's go take inventory of the back room....set some mouse traps....you know...

Edit* spelling

[edit on 6/25/2007 by jensouth31]



posted on Jun, 25 2007 @ 09:34 PM
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Originally posted by jensouth31
ST.... I always had a suspicion that it was a special sweetner just for me. But don't you know I'm already sweet enough


Trying to hold back......................


Come on...let's go take inventory of the back room....set some mouse traps....you know...



Well, guys, jen and I have to go to the back room!!

I just hope there are no giant rats that love to eat blood! Maybe if I can get enought
they will leave us all alone so we can continue to have our little party!

[edit on 25/6/07 by secret titan]



posted on Jun, 25 2007 @ 09:42 PM
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Well, don't hold back Secret Titan! I'm a Taurus, and I love to hear how sweet I am

Who said anything about a party in the back room? You told me when you were putting that special sweetener in my drink that we were going to the back room to do inventory. I'm so glad there's a party back there....I had no idea



posted on Jun, 25 2007 @ 10:34 PM
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Maybe I should go into the back room with you, especially since I've been :w:. Very tempting though!

Inventory is done people, what's the next song? Did you know we had plenty of beverages back there to last us a few years? Time to start dancing to the music. (And yes, I've been told I dance very well)



posted on Jun, 26 2007 @ 12:19 AM
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Whoaaa...too many Neon Martinis over 2 days...room spinning......oh, ok, it's just my barstool.

clap clap clap Molly and Whaaa, then E_B...what a night for songs...this place IS a classy joint
Wow, how can we top that, Jen? I'm thinking...thinking...

Ooh, I see Jen's playing, I've Got A Secret...looks like fun...

What song?...what song?...



posted on Jul, 1 2007 @ 08:07 PM
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Dib Dib...

Hi Jen. What kind of song is that? Why....that song was sung to me by my dear ma ma when I was just a wee lad. We were part of a very unusual religious group...cult I guess you could say. We worshiped the sperm.

I got away from that group when I moved out. Pretty horrible it was. I had to start my own cult. Now my brethren and I worship the egg. Now....not the female egg. We worship white eggs from chickens like you would find in the supermarket. We do NOT worship the brown egg. The brown egg is a heathen....the anti-egg if you will.

We worship the white egg because white symolizes purity of course. We only eat them hard-boiled with perfect yokes (no green yokes allowed in my cult). You boil them too long, you spend time in solitary....



posted on Jul, 2 2007 @ 10:48 PM
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Well, well, well. And so I have found you at last, E_B, King of the White Egg Cult. I knew that signing up for a conspiracy forum would eventually help me sniff out a rotten egg hahahahaha I searched Secret Societies and Unidentified Frying Objects, and the yoke is on me to find you in Chit Chat.

And now, I expose myself
...not that, you guys...I am your nemesis, E_B, Queen Ova of the Brown Egg Cult...which is not the Blue Egg Cult, which is not to be confused with the Blue Oyster Cult.

It was I who ousted you from the Easter basket, by encouraging the use of plastic eggs!

My next plot was to substitute plastic eggs at the White House Easter Egg Roll. I tried to talk to Cheney about the change, but, like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, when I went to his White House office I was directed to his office in the Captol, but when I checked there, I was directed to the White House, so I never found him.

Call me heathen, call me evil...But...

I call a truce. I have learned that in the year 2012, the Great Secret of All Egg Cults is to be revealed, starting Armeggeddon. We must join together to stop the Answer from being revealed. The Answer to the Great Riddle must never be spoken. What came first, the chicken or the egg must never be answered!!

If you do not want to unite with us, then I must call in my Egg Beaters. We will whip your whites higher than Mount Everest! Your yolks will be made into Hollandaise Sauce, your brains scrambled.

Think about it, but not for long. My egg timer is counting down.

All right, Rum Egg Creams for everyone!

[edit on 2-7-2007 by desert]



posted on Jul, 2 2007 @ 11:17 PM
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I always check this site daily, spend time more days than others. I'm military and like baseball too, in fact I like any sports. The reason I like this place is that you can see what is on the mind of other people, this place makes me feel like im at home, that you can have any type of discussion and it will be ok .



posted on Jul, 4 2007 @ 12:56 PM
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Greetings, Bunch! Yes, ATS is a great place, where civility and integrity are standards.
Here at Lounge Noir we tend to lose our minds, so it might be hard to see what is on our minds at times, besides mindless banter.

Today we are serving red white and blue drinks. I am setting up the mortars outback for the gigantic fireworks display.
Military, huh? Why I remember Fourth of July celebrations way back in the 1960's, at the height of the VietNam war, when all at once the sky would be lit up by military illumination flares. I don't think they were part of the show intentionally. You don't happen to work with such things do you? Just kidding hahaha Why, if I found one in my U2U box, I'm sure I would destroy it at tonight's celebrations.

Enjoy your times at ATS! What forums do you like to visit?



posted on Jul, 5 2007 @ 10:35 PM
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Hello folks


I hope you all enjoyed your 4th of july, or prehaps just another day, all the same I hope you where well

We had an event like every 4th of july here in clearwater beach.. All of the houses get together on my block and set off fire works, and Im talking lots of mortars! No one got hurt and was great fun, we had a little rain, but thats a good thing, with Florida being on fire most this year anyway, some rain was a good thing...
Well thats my chatter for now, g'evening everyone



posted on Jul, 13 2007 @ 03:29 PM
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Oh my goodness it's friday again...What are we doing tonight guys? It's mighty hot outside I think I better have a daquiri....make it a lime daquiri.
Since it's so hot out, I think we should have a pool party & take our karaoke music outdoors after sundown....

We need some lifegards on duty to administer mouth to mouth in case whaaa gets a little too happy and falls into the pool again

Desert, what should we sing for the boys tonight?



posted on Jul, 13 2007 @ 03:48 PM
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Let's make it a cesspool party!! Bring your own straws!!



And now mroe Karaoke......

I'd now like to perform "I Saw Your Mommy" by Suicidal Tendencies

Give me a C.....a lively C.....


Yesterday as I went out of the house
I saw her body lying down as quiet as a mouse
She was lying face down in the sewer
What you do-I got up closer and realized that I knew her
What you see-All her organs coming from her inside
That's nasty-Slashed up skin, sliced-up hide
Tell me some more-I turned her over and saw the tire tracks on her head
Then what-That's when I realized she was dead

Twisted body, chopped-off feet
Her body was minced meat
Bust crawling on her arms
She's dead can't do no harm
Gnarled-up legs, broken and bent
Her last breath has been spent

I wonder how much you had to pay
To get your mom killed in such a bloody way

I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead
I watched her as she bled
Well she had-Chewed-off toes on her chopped-off feet
Say what?-I took a picture 'cause I thought it was neat
That's cold-But the thing I like seeing the best
What's that-Were the rodents using her hair as a nest
Damn-I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead
Say what?-I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead

Twisted body, chopped-off feet
Her body was minced meat
Bust crawling on her arms
She's dead can't do no harm
Gnarled-up legs, broken and bent
Her last breath has been spent

I know it is your allowance that you'll really miss
But make it look good at her funeral and give her little kiss

I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead
I saw her lying in a pool of red-And she don't know how to swim
I think it's the greatest thing I'll ever see-What's that?
Your dead mommy lying in front of me-Ba doo be do
I'll always remember her lying dead on the floor-Ba doo be va
I hope she dies twenty times more

I saw your mommy and your mommy is dead
I saw your mommy and your mommy is dead

Twisted body, chopped-off feet
Her body was minced meat
Bust crawling on her arms
She's dead can't do no harm
Gnarled-up legs, broken and bent
Her last breath has been spent

I wonder how much you had to pay
To get your mom killed in such a bloody way

I saw her, I saw her...mommy

I saw your mommy



Thank you....thank you. A true family classic that one is!!



posted on Jul, 13 2007 @ 11:51 PM
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A hello to Zysin, if he's out in the audience tonight.

Lime daquiri for me!

Great friday music, E_B!


OK, Jen! Our turn! I'm feeling a little country this evening. Let's put on our big hair, these tight little jeans, and shirts that bring out the Dolly Parton in us.
This is dedicated to all those who've found and then lost love, to all the lies and deceptions in between...

My heart's achin' as I stare at the screen.
My tears fall on the keyboard.
I read your email over again.
I should just unplug the cord.

They said we would be a perfect match.
I thought I'd found my soulmate.
You were to be the perfect catch.
We would write, then phone, then date.

Here's the chorus now...

Do I delete and start all over again?
You're not the man you said you were
And I'm a size twenty-four not a ten.
So do I delete and start all over again?

They said we were so compatible
From the forms we filled out online.
Loneliness would take a sabbatical.
I'd be yours and you would be mine.

At first glance I knew we were over.
The ring on your finger told me so.
You're a dog with the name Rover
And I just have to let you go.

Do I delete and start all over again?
You're not the man you said you were
And I'm a size twenty-four not a ten.
So do I delete and start all over again?

I'll miss your emails filled with romance.
Next time there won't be the lies.
I'm not Roberta, you're not Lance.
About time we said our goodbyes.

Do I delete and start all over again?
You're not the man you said you were
And I'm a size twenty-four not a ten.
Yes, I'll delete and start all over again.





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