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So when does the chit-chat start? Right now!

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posted on May, 29 2007 @ 05:19 PM
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Okay, Vinny's lawyer is in town. The big Samoan I mentioned earlier. Seems to be in a bit of a hurry. He would also like to know what's the deal with the eulogy....

He's also talking about getting Vinny's family together to sue me for wrongful death. Wrongful death? I didn't realize the Samoan was an ambulance chaser, client creator, human being impersonator....

The police concluded that their was no foul play in Vinny's death (or at least none that they could find). The Samoan can take me to court all he wants....he's gonna be laughed out.

He is trying to say that Vinny's death had something to do with my "flatus." I don't even know what "flatus" is. At first, I thought he said "flat ass" and I was like, "What does my flat ass have to do with someone exploding?"

The Samoan makes me nervous. Can we hurry this thing along whaaa?


[edit on 29-5-2007 by Excitable_Boy]




posted on May, 29 2007 @ 06:14 PM
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My friends, we are gathered here today to pay our respectfulness to Vincent R. Goode. Please notice that his family is absent as they are on
vacation in Jamaica however his faithful dachshund is in attendance, Blinky. Watch out for Blinky, he's a snappy little SOB.
And I see that his coworkers from down at the Lumber yard are here in various stages of incapacitance and his carp fishing buddies are Walleyed as usual. Bless their Hearts. Tight lines eh, guys!!

As we all know Vinny was once Mayor of this village until his secretary filed harassment charges on him, but thats another can of worms that might best be left unopened. Hi, Candy, nice to see ya.

I don't have to remind you that Vinny served proudly in the Army until
they sectioned 8 him for that nasty drunken incident with the police dog but at least he got a purple heart out of the deal and some other awards but he never said much about them. He said he had a Congressional Medal of Honer, but he lost it.

I don't know much else to say about our friend except that his explosion affected us deeply as he owed most of us money and has yet to return my
lawnmower. Still we love him for what he was. A semi loving husband and father, pet owner, man among men, women, lizards, sheep and goats.

Shall we bow or heads in silence to remember Vinny. OK great, E_B, Jen, Ruski dude, Mr P, Desert, everyone........ Lets all gather around the cooler that holds
Vinny's bits for a candid, ay, candid, know what I mean.........oooo. Jen, desert, thats what I'm talkin bout.

Eulogy's over, can I get a ride with someone?


[edit on 29-5-2007 by whaaa]

[edit on 29-5-2007 by whaaa]



posted on May, 30 2007 @ 08:55 AM
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Whaaa...*sob*...that was beautiful...*sob*...*blow nose*...Vinny, vinny...*sob*...why did you have to go and get yerself blowed up!!!...ahhhhhhhh!!...Vinny!...

E_B, that lawyer will never darken the LN door! Shameful actions...

Speaking of shameful actions. Whaaa, why did you bring this picture of Britney and Paris falling of a barstool...look, you can see everything on Britney, just like when she got out of that car...Oh, dear...Whaaa! That's me and Jen at the eulogy! OK, everbody, don't let that man in here with a camera ever again!



posted on May, 30 2007 @ 08:13 PM
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Well...whaaa, that brought a tear to me one brown eye it did! Smashing eulogy it was. Where did you learn so much about Vinny? The man was a saint. That bit with the secretary was never proven by the way. She was a goer anyway that one....know what I mean? She was into sport. WO! Sport lover yes....quite fond of it she was. Why, all Vinny had to do was buy her a drink and she would show him her knickers. A real teaser that one........

By the way, I tried to get your lawn mower back. He also borrowed my ladder and never returned it. I went by his place the other day and was befuddled. The Samoan there along with Max the baby crusher, three television producers and a man they called Kierkegaard who just sat there biting heads off whippets. The Samoan says, "You've been a naughty boy Clement" and proceeds to poke at me with a pointed stick. So I says, "I'm not Clement" and he gets all angry and threatens to screw my head to the floor. Then, Kierkegaard starts throwing the whippet heads at me....it was horrible.

Well....I got out of there I did. I told you, that Samoan is crazy and he hangs around with a bad bunch of characters!! Sorry I wasn't able to get your lawn mower back, but I did manage to grab the pointed stick. Do you want it?



Eulogy's over, can I get a ride with someone?


A ride? Didn't know you were into....riding. WO!

If any of you happen to see the Samoan, tell him I left town. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.....

[edit on 30-5-2007 by Excitable_Boy]



posted on Jun, 1 2007 @ 12:51 AM
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Yes, I agree that was an emotional eulogy! It's okay Desert, please stop crying. Vinny's in a better place?
Let's go show the boys our knickers and see if they will buy us a drink. I might even flash something else? Maybe like.... well, I do have one of those beauty marks....care to guess where?
I've been thinking we should have one of those wet T-shirt contests, it's been dreadful hot and that's a wonderful way to cool off, plus we could donate the money charity.

Whaaa...that picture you took of Desert and I
When did you have time to take that? What a multi-tasker you are.

BTW, I thought I saw a big Samoan dude in the parking lot....



posted on Jun, 5 2007 @ 10:00 PM
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I was once an official at a wet Tshirt contest at a 3.2 joint in Durango. Me and the lead guitar player were the judges and got to pour the pitchers of water on the young lovelies.

But you can imagine our surprise when one to the contestants that seemed unusally flat chested turned her back on us; and there precisely between her shoulder blades was a perfectly formed set of sweater puppies.

True to form I asked the rest of the boys in the band to play a slow song [I think it was the Joe Cocker version of "little help from my friends"] so I could lay out and slow dance with the unsual coed from Ft. Lewis State.

Just thinking about her, even after 12 years, makes me a bit weepy.



posted on Jun, 7 2007 @ 12:26 PM
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Yeah, that's right ladies, tease us with your knickers, your beauty marks,
your something else!

That's probably what caused poor Vinny to explode!!

Well, I'll have you know, I could do a little teasing of my own if I weren't such a modest gentleman. Know what I mean, wink wink!

Be that as it may.........Tease me all you want, I'm not going anywhere.

What are you all, drinkin?

[edit on 7-6-2007 by whaaa]



posted on Jun, 8 2007 @ 10:55 AM
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Hey there, sorry to hear abut poor Vinny, exploding can't be all that pleasent. Are you buyin drinks? I'll take a pint of the Black Stuff.

So whats going on around here?
How much is that pinball machine, i'll have to have a go on that!

Damn thats a high score to beat, did you put that on there Whaaa???




posted on Jun, 8 2007 @ 09:18 PM
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Happy Friday, All!
Bartender, a Steelhead Extra Pale Ale, por favor.

Anybody read the...
...Chukkles!!!...long time no see. (I went hysterically blind after your last visit.) Why, you're still as...as...frightening as ever...Oh, what the heck...hug hug hug...What's new with your circus?

Jen, let's sing karaoke to one of Whaaa's band's songs. Whaaa, which one would you suggest we sing?

E_B, I hope you've been running your personal best lately, 'cause I would love to ask you to run over to the buffet table and bring back some of that Smokin' Salmon for us. Thanks!



posted on Jun, 8 2007 @ 11:29 PM
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desert...remember this..this was our latest song to spring on the patrons at Casa Vieja.



If You Don't Know Me By Now
~ Simply Red



If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me

All the things that we've been through
You should understand me like I understand you
Now girl I know the difference between right and wrong
I ain't gonna do nothing to break up our happy home
Oh don't get so excited when I come home
a little late at night
'Cause we only act like children
when we argue fuss and fight

If you don't know me by now (If you don't know me)
You will never never never know me (No you won't)
If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me

We've all got our own funny moods
I've got mine, woman you've got yours too
Just trust in me like I trust in you
As long as we've been together it should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together or we might as well say goodbye
What good is a love affair
when you can't see eye to eye, oh



posted on Jun, 9 2007 @ 01:45 PM
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That song always brings a tear to me one brown eye....

Actually, I hate that song. I never cared for that Simply Red dude....I always thought he was Simply Annoying....

Well...off to Wal-Mart with the Missus....anyone need me to pick anything up for them? They are having a special today on Hand Tweekies!!

[edit on 9-6-2007 by Excitable_Boy]



posted on Jun, 10 2007 @ 01:36 PM
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Yes, I remember that song well at the Casa Vieja gig. Seems as soon as we started playing it, the residents quickly fumbled with their hearing aids. And I still can't get out the stain from the pudding cup Mrs. Hodges threw at me.

Thanks, E_B, for the offer. Could you pick me up a garden gnome, please?



posted on Jun, 11 2007 @ 04:34 PM
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Garden gnome? Come on...are you serious? If my neighbor had one of them things in his yard, I'd blast it apart with my air rifle....

I think you can get a nice one from Travelocity, though....

How is everyone doing? Drinks on me for everyone...and hand tweekies!!






posted on Jun, 11 2007 @ 07:37 PM
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Hello, Everybody! It's Happy Hour, and I'm late. I was busy weeding the garden.

Boy, it was hot out there, so I took a quick dip in the LN pool. Unfortunately, I kept my clothes on, so my t-shirt is soaking wet and just about see through.


What!? You men never see watermelons this size before? Whaaa...slap slap slap...don't touch the melons!...and, E_B, put away your money; it's no good here; you get some for free. If you want to pay, you'll have to see me at the corner of Main and Oak on Saturday nights. I've tried other corners in this town, but I get my best money at Main and Oak.

Yes, the Farmers Market has been changed to Saturday evenings, so it doesn't conflict with Little League. My organic produce stand has been very successful there.

Here. I'll set these watermelons down by the kitchen, and Jeeves can cut up some delicious slices for you. They're seedless, by the way.

The gnome is soooo cute, E_B! Thank you!
I use gnomes for my fireworks. I put mortar stands through them, so the fireworks go out their caps. I suppose if you really want to blow one up, I've got an M80 you can use. But gnomes are so cute, so I never blow them up.

Yes, I'll take a Rum Runner.

Psssst! Whaaa, Jen, Chukkles...what's a hand tweekie?? I don't want to seem ungrateful to E_B, but how do I use one??



posted on Jun, 11 2007 @ 07:49 PM
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Originally posted by desert

Psssst! Whaaa, Jen, Chukkles...what's a hand tweekie?? I don't want to seem ungrateful to E_B, but how do I use one??


I was wondering the same thing Desert
I hope it isn't anything.....um.... naughty

Whaaa, I'll buy you a drink if you tell me what a hand tweekie is?



posted on Jun, 11 2007 @ 08:48 PM
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Thanks Jen, how about a Dos X?

I was sworn to secrecy on the hand Tweeky deal; but I'll give you some clues.

Poultry

Rubber bands

Pink fingernail polish

Freshly harvested cucumbers

I think I have said to much. Now everyone will know!!



posted on Jun, 11 2007 @ 08:55 PM
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Freshly harvested cucumbers...yeah you might have said too much.
Maybe Desert can sell them at her Farmers market along with her melons?




posted on Jun, 12 2007 @ 04:51 PM
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desert got melons?

Wellll........I thought those were bar bumpers. Ya' know?



posted on Jun, 15 2007 @ 12:17 PM
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Gadzooks, MrPenny! What a coincidence. I was just thinking about your grat...grada...gradea...oh, heck, your skoolin...yesterday, and wondering if LN should host a party for you. Then I visit today and find you here. Amazing. Truly an amazing place.

Note to self--regift the hand tweekie.

Yes, I have had a bumper crop of organic produce this year. Come on out to the Farmers Market Saturday nights, Main and Oak. I'll let you sample the produce before you buy.
Hey, is that a cucumber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me. Or did you buy a hand tweekie, too?

Is Chukkles still playing that creepy pinball machine in the corner, the one with the creepy clown theme, where everytime the buzzer buzzes it's really a shock, and demented laughter emits from it, sort of Stephen King like?

The pinball machine next to it is eerie, too. It seems to be picking up NASA transmissions. Of course, it fits with the theme of that machine, Orgy Orbit, portraying seven drunken, diapered astronauts. Where do I sign up?

Jeeves, a watermelon martini, please.



posted on Jun, 15 2007 @ 05:08 PM
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Hello everyone. As you all know, it's time for Karaoke here in the old LN. I have decided to go first and....I'm going to do a fine version of "Mongoloid" by DEVO.

I have often thought I should go on American Idol...alas, I am too old. What a shame. They should have a new show called: "American Middle-Aged Idol"...who wouldn't watch that? They could easily dig up some old buzzards to host the bloody thing...

Okay....here goes...ah, could you turn that thing this way. I don't know the words by heart for christ sake. Where's the regular Karaoke guy? Okay...

MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
HAPPIER THAN YOU AND ME
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
AND IT DETERMINED WHAT HE COULD SEE
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
ONE CHROMOSOME TOO MANY
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
AND IT DETERMINED WHAT HE COULD SEE
AND HE WORE A HAT
AND HE HAD A JOB
AND HE BROUGHT HOME THE BACON
SO THAT NO ONE KNEW
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
HIS FRIENDS WERE UNAWARE
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
NOBODY EVEN CARED

Thank you! Thank you!...please. It wasn't THAT good. Sorry if I screamed it out...it just seemed to need a good scream.

Who's next??

[edit on 15-6-2007 by Excitable_Boy]



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