So when does the chit-chat start? Right now!

Where was I?

Oh yeah...the boat was on fire. So my dad did have a couple of those self-inflating rafts on board. So we blew them up and they both were so old that they were full of holes. So my dad gave each of us a life jacket and a bottle of schnapps and said "Good luck!"

We all put the jackets on and jumped in the water. We swam away from the boat and within a few minutes it was fully engulfed in flames. Then, it blew up and sank a short time later. There were 6 of us in the water. The water was pretty cold as it always is no matter what time of year in Maine. I think it was April or May so it was pretty damn cold.

We all tied ourselves together with our belts so we wouldn't drift apart and we'd be a bigger target to see from the air or by another ship. Well, I figured I was gonna die, so I started sucking down the schnapps like it was water. It wasn't long before I blacked out.

When I woke up.....I was in a Coast Guard helicopter as were the rest of the guys that were on the boat. Two of them were dead. The first thing I did when I woke up was puke all over the floor of the helicopter. I guess it was the combination of the schnapps, the motion of the helicopter and of course, the hypothermia.

Watch out for them big squids...they are dangerous!!

Whaaa, your shopping cart full of s***, translate as stuf, is blocking the door. I helped myself to a leg from the bucket of chickin. Thanks.

Hey, nice plate of breaded squid appetizers! With those, let's see...Cuba Libre, por favor.

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter. All those families wearing camo roaming the woods caught me off guard, though. The LN Hunt Club's Annual Rabbit Hunt fell on Easter this year. I think I'll write to their president asking if perhaps they could change the date next time that happens.

Hey, I have an idea! How about a Bigfoot Hunt here? Jen, have you seen any Bigfoot in Oregon? I thought they were all on the West Coast, but people seem to see them all over the states. E_B, dg, Whaaa, any sitings out your way?

Bigfoot? Haven't seen my first wife in a long time!!

Ahahahahahahahahaha

Shopping cart full of s***? I'll have you know Ms. Smarty pants that some of that s*** is treasures I have collected from around the world.
Did you see the autographed can of Billy Beer? The Roswell artifact? The Nicol Smith pill bottle with a few oxys left? The pair of panties that Grace Slick let me wear? Used guitar strings from Spade Cooley. Some brown crusty things I found in the pyramid at Giza. Various rubber implements?
Halloween treats from 1983 that I collected in Prague?

To you it's just s*** but to me it's my memories from when life was fun and exciting.

I have to stop now! I can't let everyone in LN see me cry!!!!

Grace Slick's panties would probably bring in a few bucks on ebay, squire dude.




EDIT : to add the word "squire"

[edit on 9-4-2007 by Excitable_Boy]

I was driving by, and I couldn’t resist stopping in to see all of you…I could use a drink, it’s been a stressful day, boy I can’t decide somebody order something for me. Make it a strong one Was that my pastor’s car parked out front?

Desert, speaking of Big foot…I heard something yelling out in the woods behind my house last night, it liked to scare the tar out me, until I noticed that it was my neighbor guy, I guess he might have had a few too many? Last I heard about an Oregon sighting was down south, at the Oregon caves. In the very county I live in however, there has been a couple of Bigfoot sightings …what do you make of that? I guess I won’t wonder out too far after dark around my place

E-B, that’s not a very nice thing to say about your ex! If she looked like a female Bigfoot, then I’m starting to worry about your choice in women. Any of that duct tape left? Maybe we should tape E-B to the wall desert, and throw some of those love potion # 9 darts at him and sweeten him up You know we’re just teasing you E-B Don’t run away!…we won’t throw any darts at you we promise…..

Whaaa you don’t need that cart full of s*** to help you remember when life was fun and exciting, at least not as long as dg and I are around. I could say a whole lot more about my notion of fun and exciting stuff, but I think I better have another drink first.

Dear Customer:

This deposit receipt has been issued to replace previously issued deposit receipts. Since it is important that your name and address be correct, please be sure to bring any errors to our attention. If you have any questions, please call us at 1-800-###-####.

This receipt for deposit to secure payment of your final bill is void when deposit is placed on the final bill or refunded. This deposit is not transferrable to another person and will be applied to your unpaid final bill or will be refunded when your credit is established to the utilities satisfaction. Any credit balance remaining after payment of bills incurred to date service is discontinued will be payable to you without notice or demand.

And yada yada yada....

Wassup everyone, havn't been on this thread in a while, what's good in da hood? I see Mechanic is there havn't seen a reply from him in centuries, lol

E-B, that’s not a very nice thing to say about your ex! If she looked like a female Bigfoot, then I’m starting to worry about your choice in women.

Well Jen, she was fine when I married her. Then she started taking the male hormones because she thought she was a man trapped in a woman's body...bla, bla, bla. She started growing hair EVERYWHERE!

Before I knew it I was sleeping with a Yetti......It was like being married to a female Chubaka, except not as cool! Needless to say, I finally had enough and hit the ground running! I understand she makes a good living these days with the circus!! She always did like to travel.

Hey, the gang's all here!
A daquiri, please.

Hi, Russian soldier! The buffet is open with all your favorite food

Mechanic, I tried to translate what you said, but I couldn't find a website to do it, like English to French, etc.

Wow, Jen, no, I wouldn't wander far around your place at night either, with a crazy neighbor nearby....laugh...MrD and I were walking in the local Sierras about six years ago, when I noticed off the side of the trail what looked like branches placed by kids making a "shelter". But it was way too tall and big for children to make; and I thought of hunters, but it was still a little too big and roughly built for hunters. I thought, laughing, Bigfoot, yeah right, because at the time I thought BF was only up north. Then a couple years later, I discovered a report from that time and area. Creeped me out.

E_B, your ex was able to change. Mine was a jackass trapped in a body; not only did he not realize it, but he never changed.

Sorry, Whaaa, for insulting your collection. Please accept this token gift from my collection. I got it when I was in Ireland, after I had broken my glasses. It is a replica of the Barney Stone, looking just like Barney's kidney stone. To tell you the truth, I kept kissing it until I returned home and got new glasses. Hmmmm, maybe that's why Dubliners moved far out of the way when I walked down the streets.

Desert, you want to pass me some of those lime peanuts? You're right desert, those are really good! Have you been out for a morning gander in the buff lately? I haven't, but I've contemplated it, it's still just too darn chilly up here in the NW. Now summer time...that's a different story

EB, it's no wonder you wanted to get away from your ex. I'm sure it's not very appealing to sleep with a woman that's hairier than a man Do you have you any more of those cigars? That was the first time I ever smoked one, but It was pretty good after a few drinks. Kind of surprised me. I'll be down in Florida in another week or so, very close to Tampa...I'll stop in and bring back some Cuban cigars for all you guys. Have you got any special request? I just hope there's no damn storm that hits and ruins my vacation After that, I'm off to Tucson for a spell. That should be fun...it'll be way too hot for me I'm sure, but fun.

Where has Whaaa been hiding? Oh My Gosh! I forgot.....I bet he's still taped to the faucet....*shouts*
I'm coming Whaaa I'm coming!

I forgot to tell you guys, DG called me last night on my u2u phone (neat little thing), she's visiting her son in Mexico Maine, she'll be back in a few days.

Good morning! Coffee and Kahlua, please. Oh, wait. I forgot. Workday. Skip the Kahlua.
Hey, hi, Jen! Hope dg's trip goes well. Thanks for keeping us posted.
What's that, Jen? I'm in the buff??? Good Lord, I knew I forgot something!!! Better have coffee BEFORE I get here...

Originally posted by desert
What's that, Jen? I'm in the buff??? Good Lord, I knew I forgot something!!! Better have coffee BEFORE I get here...

I don't think somebody has been skipping the Kahlua

Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
What do you think you're doing?
You get your clothes on!

You're Naked as a jay-bird!

Remember The Streak desert?? Let me drop off these lyrics, we can sing this on Friday, "karaoke night" and have a streaking good time....all night!

Can I have what-ever deserts having?

edit* fixing code

[edit on 4/17/2007 by jensouth31]

Nekkid Women!!! The drinks are on me!! I'd get nekkid too, but that duck tape has given me an awful rash. I hope it's the duck tape, anyway!

[edit on 17-4-2007 by whaaa]

Good morning, Jen and Whaaa! I've had my coffee at home already, so, bartender, pour on the Kahlua. Just a little, for taste, 'cause it is a workday afterall.
Ray Stevens...hahaha...that man sure can create funny songs.

Jen. Whaaa. Why are you staring at me

Oops! I did it again, didn't I. Well, can't hide behind my briefcase all day, so I'd better drop by home and finish dressing. Kahlua coffee to go, please.

Oh my goodness desert! Oops I did it again You just keep coming in naked desert, and making prophetic statements like that, and I'll be able to have all the Karaoke material ready for Friday let's see what she comes up with tomorrow whaaa?

Whaaa?? Stop staring at desert like that And for God sakes....Hold still! I'm not finished applying this cream to that duct tape rash. Desert that brief case...is that alligator skin? Very nice! Whaaa likes it too, he like how small it is It hides little....

Thanks for giving me another song with your nakedness Too early for a drink...I better have a cup of coffee too.

What has happened to this thread? It's become awful and wicked. Wicked awful even. Ooh ya all wicked, ay? Ooh, ya wicked!

:bash:

Getting hit on the head lessons for everyone!



[edit on 18-4-2007 by Excitable_Boy]

Great day at work. Cheers!

Great to hang out at the place where everybody...where everybody...everybody names their gnomes!

Drat! Who opened the windows? In such stormy weather, the ants are blowin' in the wind...that's it, Jen, more songs for karaoke!

Indeed, E_B! I taped to the bathroom mirror a pix of me fully clothed, so I remember to dress.
Hey, E_B, I thought maybe you had gotten to go to Boston for the Marathon. Sure looked like bad weather for it. I'm glad the day turned out well for the event.

Pass the remote, please. Hmmmmm, MythBusters or Shear Genius...which one do you all want to see? Love the big screen tv's here.

Everytime you open you're mouth desert, song lyrics seem to flow Yeah this stormy weather we are having sure does keep everything blowing in the wind and not just the ants mind you Why I saw $$20 dollar bills blowing in the wind too. Here want some? I picked up all the money I could find, I have stacks, and piles of it in my car. Maybe I'll take a fancy vacation, anybody want to go?

Oh I forgot to tell you guys, I saw another accident on the way over here tonight. Yeah it was one of those Wells Fargo Armored trucks. That thing had the whole side torn open. So much for being armored huh?

Taping a picture to the bathroom mirror desert...that's a good idea!

I think I'd like a Martini tonight, and I prefer the Myth Busters since you asked, but either way I don't mind none.

I'm glad the day turned out well for the event.

It was actually pretty nasty....cold and rainy. A lot of hypothermia...

I used the Rosie Ruiz technique and took public transportation most of the way!!