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So when does the chit-chat start? Right now!

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posted on Dec, 1 2006 @ 05:09 PM
Desert...ahhh, sorry about thinking you were a dude. I hope you won't hold it against me. Can I buy you a bottle of Dom Perignon??

Barkeep...a bottle of Dom for the lady....and give her a clean glass!!

Where did Daisy go...oh dear, over at the jukebox trying to pick a song. Now isn't THAT a sight.

Well...I gotta hit the road. Whaaa, look after Daisy for me....I can't have her tagging along.

*and with that, EB heads out the door*

posted on Dec, 1 2006 @ 05:59 PM
Adios E_B, drive safely....

Truth be told Sweet Daisy is young enough to be my daughter and young women are akin to this old cowboy as a strict diet. "You can read the menu, but you can't eat anything" I know, corney but you still laughed. I bet you laugh the next time I tell it too.

See you ranglers next week; we got to go get our fair share of abuse in SF this weekend at Evangelos. No not Frisco, Santa Fe. Pray for us!...Bye..

posted on Dec, 2 2006 @ 06:06 PM
Sante Fe is cool. I love New Mexico....but I love the whole southwest!!

Well....back in my car and there's that damn Cadillac following me again.....I think I need to confron this turkey...I can't live like this *so I pull over and the Caddy pulls over down the road...waiting. So I mosey on up to it.....*

Me: *knocking on driver's side window* Hey up. What's the deal?
Driver: No habla ingles....
Me: No habla english? Do you habla punches in the head? *smack* one else in the car. I better check this guys wallet for ID. Jesus Ramirez. Damn...another Jesus! I'll just make sure this guy can't continue on his way when he wakes up so I'll remove his spark plug wires......there. Bye Bye Jesus!! Hello road...........

and I head on down it..............adios amigos!!

posted on Dec, 3 2006 @ 09:05 PM
Shanks, U/B...B/U...BYU...E_T...E_B!...for the Dom...yes, the Dom...Hey, E_B, you rrrelated to the Shree Shtooges, cause, like you keep whackin' peoples on the head! Ooh, the Dom's gone to MY head...hahaha...Zhingle Belllssss Zhingle Bellllssss...
Shanta Fe musht be nishe...snow? hohoho
Camel steaks! Ooooh, wait a minute, shomeone's being naughty!...MRP???...Bartender, another bottle on his tab...

posted on Dec, 4 2006 @ 12:09 AM
Step out of the bar stool miss and put your hands on top of the bar. I'm gonna have to frisk you to see if you have any concealed weapons or other naughty things. Uh Oh, Is this rubber or just some sort of soft plastic. Looks harmless enough. Ok miss, I'm gonna let you off with just a warning this time. Hahaha, Its just me whaaa, how did you like my law officer routine?

Yeah, once I was pulled over by a Lady cop and I asked her if she wanted to frisk me.
Needless to say she didn't appreciate my humor and even got a little PO when I called her Barney. Something that I never understood is why cops can't see and appreciate the absurd. They're so serious! Must have something to do with having to deal with smartasses like me every day.

Desert are you just pullin that Dom off the neck now? Whoa, gettin serious!!

I'm happy to report that we were well received at Evangelos and the only abuse we received was some playful spanking and of course the cat calls of "Play something you know".

Could I get a 7up?

[edit on 4-12-2006 by whaaa]

[edit on 4-12-2006 by whaaa]

posted on Dec, 4 2006 @ 06:43 AM
Hey whaaa......hey Desert. It's me EB....

That wasn't me here a little while was my clone. He's so stupid. He hasn't figured out that that is why they are after him...nothing to do with the money. I can't have my clone running around screwing off whenever he wants.

But seriously...that is a good heckle "Play something you know!!" That's something I might have said in my drinking daze...I mean days......... seem a bit intoxicated....don't let this guy whaaa take advantage of for some coffee? I happen to have three cups right here....whaaa? some coffee? They have an extra shot of espresso in them...just the way I like them.....

posted on Dec, 5 2006 @ 07:27 PM
Yes, coffee. MMMMM, good. Tastes like Hawaiian Organic. Whew, the bubbly is deadly. I saw two E_B's!

Whaaa, will you be playing for a New Year's celebration?

MrD and I were shopping last night and saw the new Wii. Looks like fun. Hey, maybe we need one here. Imagine bowling from the barstool.

posted on Dec, 17 2006 @ 09:14 PM
Tis the season to be jolly. Isn't it strange that you can be jolly only around Xmas time? If I saw someone acting jolly, say around arbor day, I'd call the authorities and have them arrested for acting jolly at an inappropiate time of the year. Tradition is not to be ignored. Ever see eggnog in the stores during valentines day. Of course not. Tradition!

My favorite tradition around Xmas is for all the family to gather round, get blind drunk and yell at each other and even throw a few punches if need be. Knock the tree over and cause all the kids under 13 to cry. What is really neat about this tradition is that class, social standing, education are all cast aside and everyone is free to make as big a fool of themselves as they can. The resentments that are made during xmas time can keep you warm all year long and just when they start to fade; thats right, time to dust off that pitiful plastic tree, pitiful plastic ornaments and our pitiful plastic lives.

Who wants to go to Mexico with me for xmas in Topolobompo on the beach?

posted on Dec, 20 2006 @ 01:21 PM
Hey, Christmas lights on my chair...neat!
Topolobompo...well, MrD and I would love to join you there, but our car navigation device doesn't understand my Spanish. Maps? We ain't got no maps! We don't need no maps. I don't have to show you any stinkin' maps!

Sure would be fun to drive in there with the rv and honk out lacucarachalacucaracha.

Must hurry. Gulp...gulp...gulp...munch...munch...munch...Gotta get ready for the Christmas Pageant.

Pssst...who's the guy in the red suit and white beard sittin' over there. Is that a big dog or a reindeer at his feet? Uh, looks like he's a little tipsy...he's ordering more peppermint schnapps!...and he's mumbling something about naughty and nice...poor fellow, he could use a vacation on the beach.

posted on Dec, 21 2006 @ 08:37 AM
I tore myself away from rehearsal to get a rum and eggnog and a bowl of popcorn. Tonight's the night! Everyone is invited to the annual Christmas pageant.
Speaking of traditions, Whaaa, here's another story from a family Christmas gathering. Towards the end of the evening, as Grandma had tired from all the preparation and festive libations, she sat with a sad face looking at the dog chewing on his rag doll toy gift and exclaimed before everyone drove out of sight, "My children have torn me up like the dog chewing on his doll." Yes, nothing like celebrations to bring out the best in people.

You know, I think the Christmas spirit could last year long if fruitcake lasted only a day. But no, the darn stuff can last for twelve months, until it's time to get more for the next celebration. So we don't need Christmas except for once a year.

posted on Dec, 22 2006 @ 05:14 PM
Hi everyone. Just wanted to drop in and say HI!

Doesn't fruitcake last forever??

posted on Dec, 22 2006 @ 06:20 PM
E_boy I'm just soooooo mad at you for calling me ugly, I could just spit.
*stamps foot smartly* Ill have you know that there are some around here that think I'm brutally handsome. Huh, Desert?

Im not really mad, come here and give me a big hug you big silly!

Bar keep, Champain for my friends and real pain for my sham friends.

posted on Dec, 23 2006 @ 07:02 AM

Bar keep, Champain for my friends and real pain for my sham friends.

Thanks for the hug you big lug. But seriously, this line I quoted here is some funny stuff. It took some intelligence to put that together....

But anyhoo.....Happy Holidays to everyone and all that.....

posted on Dec, 25 2006 @ 06:14 PM
*Mechanic sneaks in, while everyone else is Christmassing with their families.*


Turns on the jukebox, and starts singing karaoke...

Not a bad Elvis impression, right?

No audience to hear it though.

*Mechanic cleans up, and locks the door on his way out*

btw, I'm the last to post!

oops, they closed that thread.

[edit on 12/25/2006 by Mechanic 32]

posted on Jan, 6 2007 @ 09:09 PM
Hey, this place looks ready to open for 2007. Mechanic, you sure do clean up well. And E_B, if you look in the dictionary for handsome, you'll find Whaaa.

Whoa, what's this!? I'm reviewing the security video...Elvis!
Great Cesar's ghost!

Hmmmm, we're running low on these little mints. I think I'll go look for more.

posted on Jan, 7 2007 @ 09:17 AM
Does the name whaaa come from Monty Python? You know...the "Getting Hit on The Head Lessons" sketch??

"'s Whaaa. Let's try that again."
"'s Whaaa."
"Why do you keep 'ittin me on me 'ead?"
"Well, it's gettin' 'it on the 'ead lessons in 'ere!"
"Oh, well I was looking for an argument..."
"Oh I see...well your in the wrong want the office next door!"

And whaaa.....I am sure you are quite handsome. I apologize for anything rude or unsavory I may have said last year!! I on the other hand, look like someone shaved a dogs behind and made him walk backwards *a little self-deficating humor*

Happy New Year to all.....

BTW...I have had a Mountain Dew in a week and have cut my caffeine intake down to just one cup a day....I'm I'm not as excitable any longer....

[edit on 7-1-2007 by Excitable_Boy]

posted on Jan, 7 2007 @ 03:30 PM
Let's try that again.....I haven't had a Mountain Dew in a week and cut my caffeine intake down to just one cup of coffee per day.......

I am sleeping much better....

Peace everyone!!

posted on Jan, 7 2007 @ 07:50 PM
Way to go, E_B! Sounds like you went sorta cold turkey. Ah, such will power. But the payoff is good, in that you're feeling better. For me to get down to one cup of coffee a day, I had to (unintentionally) get myself into a situation where I could only use the restroom with great difficulty, so I quit with all the caffeine, that devil diuretic.

Mint anyone?

OK, so here's how the pageant went...long winded so just humor me with glazed eyes as I talk, keep sipping your drinks and nod once in a while...

The Christmas Pageant and its preparation was like preparing for a holiday meal. Hours of preparation and finally a short time of enjoyment.

All was going well, until the line about the Christmas Star, when this year's addition, a giant fireworks pinwheel, was lit, and it then decided to unattach itself to the sky and head straight for the Sea of Galilee punch bowl, causing Jeanine's Spiked Punch (it was supposed to have been her Spiced Punch, but it was not, thanks to cell phone connections being what they are sometimes)to flame up.

Horrified audience members raced to the punchbowl to ladle punch into their cups before all the alcohol went away. The human stampede caused the animals onstage to stampede, the sheep exiting stage left, the actor shephards following to act as real life shepherds running after their flock.
The camel, with a king astride, exited stage right, with the two kings left behind deciding to give chase.
The cow jumped over the manger and off the stage and ran down the center aisle, giving the running of the bulls in Pamplona a run for their money.

The cage of doves at the back door was upset, prematurely releasing the sacred symbols of peace, which, being scared to high heaven, left every uncovered dish on the buffet table covered in, well, it wasn't manna.

The manger had tipped over, but Mary had been holding the Baby Jesus close to her heart at just that moment, so, although the sweet babe took to howling, he was unharmed. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at my ruined pageant, so I did both.

Then I realized, that even amidst the chaos, the lines wrongly spoken, the unexpected happenings, the true gifts of the season, Peace and Love, are already being held close to our hearts.
And everyday we awaken, born again with these gifts, we must never miss the opportunity to give these gifts to others. We start with Peace and Love in our heart and give it away, amidst the chaos, the words poorly spoken, Life's surprises that startle and frighten us.
I escorted the bewildered family off the stage and to their car. As Joseph got in and warmed up the car, Mary placed Jesus in his carseat. I thanked them for their participation, and as they drove out of sight I knew I had to share Peace and Love not just one day a year but each day, and, oh, yeah, I made a mental note to nix the pinwheel star next year.

posted on Jan, 11 2007 @ 07:43 PM
BBrrrrrrr. Gotta warm up with a brandy. Who's tried the ski run out back?
Hey, where did these maracas come from? Whaaa, did you bring them back from Mexico? Let's dance. Latin dance time. Couples, take the floor.

posted on Jan, 12 2007 @ 01:22 AM
Desert, congratulations on a fine pagent. Any Xmas pagent that dosen't result in broken bones or the swat team being called is a success in my book.

I didn't make it to the beach. I got as far as Chihuahua before the cough syrup kicked in and wound up in a fun little place called "Dottys" where I made some nice friends that took me on an interesting hike into the desert where we made some cactus fritters and stared into the fire for a couple of days.

Back in Juarez I bought a 2 liter jug of Bacardi and they threw in the gourd shakers for an extra 5 pesos.

Excuse me for not dancing, I seemed to have picked up a slight rash that makes doing the mambo mighty uncomfortable.

Prospero Ano mi Amigos!!

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