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So when does the chit-chat start? Right now!

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posted on Aug, 19 2006 @ 01:35 PM
Sure missed you folks and the wonderful ambiance here at "LN" but I was out in the world trying to find a couple of nickles to rub together. Luck was with us on this trip; Guadalupe the van purred like a kitten, we weren't accosted by any terrorist and the hippies in Taos treated us like family. Well, step children, anyway. The Rio Grande was in mud flood mode so there was no fishing, so the only thing left to do was sit around all the oh so hip coffee shops and discuss art, poetry and films and tell lies about all the fabulous projects we are involved in. So what's new around here? I see I missed the Limbo tournament.

posted on Aug, 20 2006 @ 10:50 AM
Glad to hear all went well, Whaaa. I think Russian Soldier won the limbo tournament, he being young and in shape. I had to be carried away flat on my back and had to drink dauquiries with a straw. Bummer.

Maybe you can make the Jello Shot Tournament. Notice the miniature trebuchet at the end of the bar.

I'll bet those hip coffee shops don't discuss farts, as is done here. Bummer.

posted on Aug, 24 2006 @ 12:45 AM
I currently avoid limbo fest at all costs. D. I hope your back gets better! Which brings back bitter memories of the time I was hot tar roofing the flat roof of my little adobe hacienda in Sandoval county. Like a fool I was melting the tar in 5gal. buckets over an open cottonwood stick flame, to almost boiling, Pulling up the buckets with a hemp rope.
The human spine really hates to be stressed with weight while twisting at the same time. The pain was almost supernatural in intensity. My eyesight went red with little sparklies and I froze in position least I drop the tar bucket down the side of my freshly stuccoed wall. I must have experienced an out of body moment, cause the next thing I remembered was being lowered to the ground, duct taped to a 2x12 by my girl friend. Somehow, I'm glad to report, I managed to lower the tarbucket safely to earth.

For the next 2 months I lived in a pharmaceutical wonderland of percodan and Valium washed down by a constant stream of Coors alternating with Hamms, from the land of sky blue waters.

So Desert, that is why I don't limbo, Mambo or dance the Tarantula but I can still find my way around a two step or waltz pretty good.

Aww listen, they're playing "Moonlight in Vermont" care to take a turn around the floor with me?

posted on Aug, 27 2006 @ 09:39 AM
Great music and great dancing, Whaaa!
You know, I auditioned for the movie, My Two Left Feet. Almost got the part, but there was a worse dancer than me out there.
The poster by the front door says George Bush will be on stage here Tuesday night to regale us with fart jokes.
Lift and separate is good, Whaaa, but lift and twist is bad.
Pizza by the Pool this afternoon.

posted on Aug, 28 2006 @ 09:25 AM
I'll be here for the President on Tuesday, that's tomorrow right. Doesnt it seem ironic that the person capable of creating the largest cosmic fart on the planet appreciates the subtleties and crudeness of flatulent humor? Well, maybe not, I don't know. Anysway, D. thanks for the dance; I had forgotten that "if we would spend more time dancing and less time fussing, the world would probably be a little better for it in the long run" I think Auther Murray said that. Or perhaps Lawrence Welk; it was a long time ago and the old synapses fire off in crazy mad patterns lately.

Well, Im off to Lowe's to get some more stuff to add to my growing collection of odds and ends. When I die someone will say, "what was he gonna use all that weed whacker string for?"

posted on Sep, 8 2006 @ 09:19 PM
Oh, sweet mystery of life...why does that man have all that weed wacker string?

Happy Septiembre, Amigos y Amigas! Pretty soon, the old sun will cross the line towards darker days. Leaves will pale in strength and vibrate in colors. Oh, sweet mysteries of Life...

In the twilight glow I see...from the veranda at Lounge Noir...sipping White Merlot...

Before you know it, I'll have to rehearse the camel for the Christmas Pageant.

posted on Nov, 5 2006 @ 01:29 PM
Excuse the dust. Lounge Noir has been shuttered for a bit.

However, the wine cellar is being re-stocked, liquor cabinet is full, and the chef is preparing a......'scuse me? chef yet?.....just chips?....crap...

Well there's booze anyway. Siddown....relax....don't mind the bandleader...he's a bit of a twit. And don't sit on desert's bar stool, it was not pretty the last time that happened.

posted on Nov, 5 2006 @ 04:35 PM
Hey MrP, nothing wrong with chips; Ill just whip us up some dip out of those leftover beans and some tobasco. Careful though, a little goes along way.

As I was saying, there I was toolin along on old 44 in my f150, when the dust devil from hell formed about 200 yards in front of me. My yellow dog Goober saw it and hunkered down in the floorboards and commenced with his "O s***" whine. Just a sec...cell....might be my broker, HaHa.....

posted on Nov, 6 2006 @ 08:47 PM
So anyway I'm ok. Slow day for me. I slept mostly. I'm pretty much asleep right now.

Remember the time I farted in your mouth while you were sleeping? God, that was so funny.

Please don't fart in my mouth.

posted on Nov, 6 2006 @ 10:02 PM
Hi there unreal, whats a classy dude like you doing in a place like this? Wait a damn munite there whaaa; this is a classy place and as soon as desert gets here the place will sparkle in its old glory.

Well, that call wasn't from my broker, haha, it was from my probation officer, seems as there was a little mix up in my last P test. I might be gone for awhile, keep my stool warm for me.

Anyway, as Goober and I entered the whirlwind from hell, my vision was completely blurred and I felt the f150 slide a little toward the barditch.
In just a second or 2 we emerged from the WW and to my amazement, there was a small cottontail bunny impaled on my cowhorn hood ornament.

Goober and I shared a fine meal of cottontail and blackeyed peas that evening.
Life is good in the desert. By the way, where is desert?

posted on Nov, 7 2006 @ 07:42 PM
Hello, Boys! Thanks for keeping my bar stool vacant. Pass those chips this way, but keep the beans away from Unreal, please. Our liquor cabinets overfloweth again, MrP, just in time for something seasonal...ah, warm brandy.
Whaaa, could you be a dear and get one of those New Mexican bunnies for me? They are delicious, and we could use some pate for this French bread I found in the freezer in the kitchen.
I've been busy with the upcoming Christmas Pageant. You would not believe what prima donas those Wise Men are! They squabble endlessly over who gets to ride in on the camel. Que idiotos! I refuse to help next year, if there are not two more camels.

posted on Nov, 7 2006 @ 10:56 PM
I still don't get why I had to be the one to kiss the camel. It made me ill for a week and yet you still made me dance in my own filth.

What else were we to do in a place like barbados? I mean, we tried looking for a hungry jacks' didn't we? I seem to remember eating a ham-burger, but it tasted remarkably like a turtle.

Did we ever find that toilet for me and those two Iranian hookers?

God I'm drunk... are we in Barbados yet?


[edit on 7-11-2006 by Unrealised]

posted on Nov, 8 2006 @ 11:00 AM
Whew!!! I thought the backed up sewer was bad, but you dude, are melting my nostril hair.

Breakfast buffets.....I love 'em. Why? Cause I get to mention cast iron skillets. Incredibly useful cooking devices.

Film at 11:00.

posted on Nov, 8 2006 @ 06:12 PM
Oh my yes. I absolutely love cooking with cast iron skillets.

Oh yes, oh my.

posted on Nov, 8 2006 @ 08:54 PM
Shhhhhhhh...heh, heh, heh...don't anyone tell Unreal WHERE he kissed the camel!
Speaking of the camel, MrP, I got us a chimp to help with cleaning up the camel doots. Of course, I then had to get a helper monkey to change the chimp's diapers. And I had to get a helper monkey for the helper monkey, to change ITS diapers. But Lounge Noir will be doot-free!

posted on Nov, 8 2006 @ 10:08 PM
Speaking of Christmas pagents; Hi Desert, heres' your bunny, I think it should have a diaper too. Oh yeah, the pagent, Well back in the 80s at my old grade school in Lincoln County the kids in the Xmas procession before school was let out for Xmas vacation, were carrying candles and set the curtians of the stage on fire and burned most of the gym and a lot of the cafateria up. When school resumed, they had to have classes in the bowling alley across the street. Kinda surreal with the leagues and the bar open while geography was attempted at being taught but I guess the kids kinda liked it as they could get in a few lines during lunch and recess.

Is there any of the chips and beandip left?

posted on Nov, 8 2006 @ 11:30 PM
Um.....I hate to be the one to break this to you.....

That wasn't beandip you were eating with those chips.

Remember those Diaper wearing Helper Monkeys?

posted on Nov, 9 2006 @ 10:37 PM
Whoa, I was wondering how come the nutty, buttery taste of that dip. It got me to thinking; with the proper chip; maybe something like those that come in a can, we could start a whole new culinary trend. I got it!! Spread it on a ritz cracker. Give it a little class, eh!! Wash it all down with a fine American beer like Coors lite.
Remember when they used to call Coors lite, "silver bullets"? Those were the days, listening to the "Eagles" and drinking Coors.

Once I bought one of those assortment of insects that they eat in 3rd world countries as a delicacy. I really grew fond of the ants and bees but the grasshoppers sort of tasted like....grasshoppers. Sort of a cross between a wasp and a ladybug, if you know what I mean.

Once my girl friend killed a rattlesnake with a shovel, skinned it, and threw it on the bbq grill, the Weber Kettle, and ate it with Paul Newmans salad dressing on it.
Christ, what a woman!!

posted on Nov, 10 2006 @ 08:37 AM
"Momma, I'd like you to meet my rattlesnake chillin' 'n grillin' girlfriend".

I think I'm in love. My wife cries when she sees a 'cucaracha'.

I remember when folks in Illinois thought it was cool to bring back cases of Coors from Colorado. To this day, I can't drink that swill. Blech!!!

posted on Nov, 10 2006 @ 07:28 PM
Here in Australia we don't drink much else but our own stuff. I got stuck into some Bud once or twice, but it ain't as strong as even our weakest beer.

Nothin better than a case of Tooheys Pils, and about 20 kg of Assorted Meat.

Dang, I need a BBQ badly...

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