Whats the funniest conspiracy theory you've heard?

How about the one, with the aliens are working with the goverment through the hollow earth and are using brain waves and the education system to get people to follow them, so they can put on a disguise, get elected, and make us all work as slaves, like in Sumerian and Egyptian mythology, and help them make a sevre them and make massive weaponary using damasucs metals and their metals to make laser beams, all this while boy bands and solo artists distract the public, by pretending to care.

That was the craziest one I heard, I think only a little bit of that could happen.

I love that "Holy grail" Da Vinci code crap. Man, it's so funny

That the Gov. carried out 9/11

come on if they were that good we would of found some w.m.d. in iraq....
if they pulled off that attack...i think they could of faked some wmd's.

Well, there's plenty of reasons to question the Goverment, and it's not unfeasable (did not Hitler burn the Reichstag and then place a Communist patsy to seize power? Did not Nero burn Rome and blame it on the Christians to boost his support among the rabble?)

True, it could happen like alot of crazy things in the universe. For all we know, we're probably inhaling inter-dimensional aliens right now, no bigger than a fly's eggs.

See, that's why I love Douglas Adams.

Originally posted by Nakash
The Mexicans are attempting to take over America one is good too. Classic paranoia.

That one is true.

MECHA (the radical Mexican group) claims they have a long term goal of 'Reconquista' the SW U.S. and returning control to Mexico. They will do it by gradually gaining votes by immigration, legal or otherwise, and gaining control of local governments, city councils, school boards, etc, and eventually state legislatures. They have already partially (mostly?) succeeded in California.

Dude, how could a bunch of skinhead mexicans in a group of say 20-30 people represent hundreds of millions? That's a pathetic conspiracy, and I for one am tired of Alex Jones and his crazy paranoia on Mexicans for example. There will always be people saying immigrants are attempting to take over their country- the Irish suffered it, the poles suffer it in Germany, the Turks in Europe as well, Jews suffer it wherever they are,ad infinitum. "Reconquista" give me a break....

Originally posted by Omniscient
The people who, to this day, believe the moon is made of cheese.

Wow. People still believe that? Do they know how cheese is made? lol

That and flat-Earthers. Not so much funny as just unbelievable.

Best and funniest conspiracy theory ive ever herd

#3: A bunch of Afghans with AK's called Al qaeda organazing 9/11.

#2: The Queen is a reptilian is a funny one too.

#1 KFC chicken making Black(only) male impotent. thats a winner 1



I must say thats its not because its funny its not true but it just makes it even harder to believe. I also like the ABC Lost serie, its extremly entertaining, the # theory of badluck, a place where they cant be rescued, religion, the electro magnetic fiield, everything is great stuff in that serie.

[edit on 8-5-2006 by eagle eye]

Penn and Teller are aliens who are controlling Las Vegas to take over the US, and that's about 10 years old too. Gilbert Godfrey has a terrible voice, because he drinks chicken juice to sound better, and to conquer the world for Penn and Teller and their overlords in UFOs by Area 51 and 52. That's the weirdest I ever heard in grade school.

Another good one are the secret alien bases inside Lassen Peak and Mt. Shasta in northern California.

Aliens aren't real smart if they build their bases inside an active volcano.




I've hiked and camped all over that area. No secret bases. Lots of lava tubes, no alien access tunnels.

The funniest conspiracy? Where do I start?


My favorites, in no particular order

• 911 was a U.S. government plot
  
  
• FDR bombed Pearl Harbor
  
  
• Chemtrails
  
  
• Chinese troops are massing in Mexico preparing to attack the U.S.
  
  
• Sitting Bull was a renegade West Point Officer (how else could he have defeated the great General Custer).
  
  
• Cellular telephone towers are really mass mind control devices.
  
  
• Anything from David Icke
  
  
• Anything about John Titor
  
  
• The moon landings were faked
  
  
• HAARP is used to steer hurricanes
  
  
• HAARP is used to cause earthquakes/tsunamis
  
  
• Crop Circles are created by aliens
  
  

Originally posted by HowardRoark
The funniest conspiracy? Where do I start?


My favorites, in no particular order...

You forgot to include the mythical 'UFO crash at Roswell'. That non-event certainly has taken on a life of its own!

[edit on 9-5-2006 by dave_54]

Here's even more ridiculous conspiracies:

-AIDS caused by whites putting poison in water supply (some Africans I met believed that one, and Mbeki had a commision to investigate this claim)

-Using a lie detector gives you superpowers (Scientology, you become a "clear")

-Germans supported Hitler because they didn't have sex and directed all their sex energy into aggresion (Freud)

How about the theory that the sky is made of glass? Apparently at least one person appears to be taking it seriously.

It was a weird theory to read about.

Okay, it's not technically a conspiracy. There was only one Conspirator, so you'd have to call it a plot.

It's the one about how Old Nobodaddy went sneaking about the earth burying fossils in rocks so as to fool humans into thinking the earth was millions and millions of years older than it is. And twiddled physical laws of His own devising to make light travel faster than light to make the universe look bigger than it is. And did all kinds of other really not-very-divine stuff in order to dupe the crown of His creation into thinking His Word lies.

As practical jokes go, that has to be the most elaborate in all Creation. I bet He's still laughing; after all, it's only been 6010 years since he did it, according to Archbishop Usher anyway.

The 9/11 conspiracy theories,

Some people tend to have imaginations that run away with them. People get so wound up in hatred of their government they will blame them for anything.

For example -

The photographs in Question 5 show representations of a Boeing 757-200 superimposed on the section of the building that was hit.

Can you explain what happened to the wings of the aircraft and why they caused no damage?

Well to me the wing damage is pretty clear and lines up perfectly with the red plane.

Yeah so I know I'm going to get flamed by people saying "The government did it!" and all that - but really it only takes a simple look over the whole thing and the amount of times the conspiracies have been disproven.

I find it really funny when evidence is disproven how people will all of a sudden go into panic mode and make up a new theory. If a crystal clear video came out tomorrow of a plane hitting the pentagon.. the first thing that would be said is "The video is a fake" even without a proper analysis etc etc.

People just jump to conclusions these days and often these conclusions are more someones imagination rather than factual knowledge.

My 2cents.

Well I know I’m going to get flamed, but I actually find most “alien abduction” stories hilarious.

Exactly how many human anuses do these aliens need to probe before they find what they’re looking for?

And WHY would they bother to actually RETURN the people (sometimes right to their bed) when they could just as easily, say, eject them into space once they’re done.

If they’re treating us as lab rats, what do we usually do with lab rats once we’re done with them? Return them to their mothers? Rehabilitate them?

And why would nobody have any actual physical evidence if this happens so much? Aliens can abduct you from your house and nobody, not one single neighbour, notices?

I kind of see it as people who have hallucinated something and then they re-construct their memories based on a tenuous belief in alien life-forms.

There ARE aliens out there, for sure, but I strongly doubt that any have ever been here, and ESPECIALLY that they have absolutely not been snatching people up, or doodling in cornfields or mutilating livestock.

Seems like the height of human hubris to believe that aliens would really give a rat’s tookus about a tiny little planet like ours.

agreed on the following:

crop circles
anything reptilian
alien abductions
gov't pulled off 9/11
any and all of the beatles related conspiracies

unmentioned and, in my opinion, one of the funniest conspiracies out there is that there is an organization that has been planning to take over the world for something like 1000 years. It might have been spooky or believable for oh, maybe a decade or century but, after about a thousand years, their ineptitude at at least attempting and failing to pull off a new world order is, in my eyes, one of the funniest things someone can believe in.

oh and the whole green m&m's make you horny thing. I've fed the ladies barrels of the green m&m's and have noever once had them turn on me like some kind of insatiable beast.

Originally posted by Jakomo

Exactly how many human anuses do these aliens need to probe before they find what they’re looking for?

It proves they have an inferior technology and are not as developed in cellular biology as us mere humans.

A single drop of blood contains all the information.

You only need samples from an estimated 600 individuals, well distributed around the world, to account for all the possible variations in human genetics.

Aliens are an inferior race.