An ATS Members Story

Let me start off by saying that I’m very happy about coming back to ATS, when I first stumbled upon this haven of knowledge and enlightenment, I was young, very young and naïve, which resulted in me having to leave ATS… until now. As my first writing piece after my “comeback”, I’d like to tell you my lives story, inspired to do so by a little post I encountered recently about “Chills” that can be found here. I'm also subject to this chill, and believe me when I say it's tormented as much as captivated and "pleased" me. I have examined every single explanation that I encountered, every little shred of hope, from an Otherkin Soul to a Neurological Disorder, I’ve seen it all. So, believe me when I say this thread is of great importance to me. Now, if you allow me, I’ll start my story from the beginning, like all stories start, and this story happens to be true . Be warned that it might sound fantastic at times, but believe me when I say it's 100% true, Ignorants you have been Warned! Although I doubt there'll be much Ignorants and a Website using the "Deny Ignorance" label, but you sometimes get those leet 12 year olds that think they have an "uberz" demonic power and they're the Prince of Darkness yatayatayata... Anyway, let's get to the story shall we?

It all started when I was around 11 years old... I had just changed countries, having moved from NY (Believe it or not it was the worst place I’ve been in my whole life, and I was living in Westchester which isn’t even in The Big Apple, it's in the suburbs) to Brussels, Belgium, a nice quite but boring as hell city. I always thought of Brussels as the cradle of my soul and mind, since I discovered ATS and much of what I know now if not everything I now there. Well, I think this journey started with me (Don’t ask how, I prefer to skip the more embarrassing and personal details) getting into Pagan Magic and Were creature pages. I don’t remember exactly when these chills began, but I think they started soon after I got into those pages, and no, I doubt it was an adrenaline discharge produced by the thought of getting caught by my parents . Well, anyway, I tried some of the so called spells on the pagan pages, especially the energy/aura/chakra spells, and of course I didn’t get any results, nothing surprising 'bout that. But here's the thing, I became obsessed with... well... the whole shape shifting thingy. And I mean OBSESSED. The thing is... I think that changed my life forever. Let me say right now that my knowledge of Spiritual Guides, Pagan Magic, and the Paranormal is quite superficial, although I have some vague concepts which I imagine to be higher than that of a "Normal Person’s", but let’s continue with the story, shall we?

Oh, and as a side note, pardon my strange story telling manner, I just think it makes reading this account more bearable and even fun. Anyway... let’s get back to the story for real this time aye? Well, let me just say that I tried to "shape shift", and I think it would have worked... if it were not for a series of factors unbeknownst to me at the time. Let's just say I almost shape shifted in my friends basement surrounded by 4 colleges and behind a pillar, strange enough for you? Well, the thing is, when I tried to shape shift, I felt a variation of this "Chill", a very powerful variation. I believe that if I hadn’t stopped myself, something WOULD have happened. The thing is that I think I somehow managed to damage or alter my Karma, Chi Energy, Aura, Personal Energy or (Insert weird Oriental Name Here). After all this years I don’t think I’ve fully recovered, but lately I’ve been regaining, or should I say, rediscovering this "lost powers".

(Ups, run out of posting Space, gona have to continue on another post . Oh, and dont mind the "Apprentice Energy Channeler" title, it's a reminder from my "naive" ATS period, gota get that changed as soon as I get enough points )

[edit on 28-4-2006 by Azure Twilight]

Anyway, after that little “incident”, I never managed to shape shift, although there’s one little exception I deem worth mentioning. One time, I decided to try a shifting method I found on the internet, basically it involved a type of self hypnotism by telling yourself how much you’d like to change, how good it would be etc. Anyway, I think I “Mentally” and maybe even spiritually shifted, I really felt, well, like an animal… I don’t wana get into details but lets just say it was like looking at yourself through a glass screen, you see what’s happening but cant control it. Anyways I didn’t do anything exceedingly crazy during that “possession”, if you deem walking on all fours, thinking and sniffing like an animal normal under the circumstances. Anyways that experience probably wasn’t paranormal, most likely it was an overactive imagination coupled with self hypnotism, I just thought it was worth mentioning.

Well, the shape shifting obsession has stayed with me during my whole life, and I must admit I still have it today. Now, you may be asking yourselves why I just told you this, well, lets just say that in my theory, all this events, paranormal or otherwise, or somehow related to my “chills”. This brings me to my next topic, what I like to call “Profound Extra sensorial Perception”, PESP for short, and no, I was neither high nor drunk when coming up with the name .

Hmm, how to define PESP? Well, have you ever walked into an “emotionally charged” place, say, a burial at a cemetery, and felt sadness or any other sensation directly tied to that area? Yes? Ok, now imagine being able to feel that about every moment, every object, every place, can you imagine it? Good, now imagine the everyday sensations you experience, sadness, happiness, relentlessness, fear, hope etc, on different "levels. There are LOTS of different combinations with different "levels” of each sensation, and that’s in short what I fell, that’s PESP for you. This, as you might have guessed, is directly connected to “The Shivers”. Another interesting thing I noticed is that TS (The Shivers) and PESP overlap each other. In other words if I’m having TS I can’t have PESP at the same time, and vice versa. Another thing that confirms the fact that TS and PESP are connected is that I can “convert” PESP to TS, and to a lesser extent TS to PESP. Another thing worth noting is that I’m not the only one with PESP, all the people that claim (without lying :p) to be able to “sense” people’s auras, have PESP also, in my particular case I seem to be able to capture everything’s aura, not just peoples aura.

I think I’ll leave it here tonight, to tired to go on, I’ll continue this tomorrow, and hopefully I’ll continue it till I find and answer. So, don’t be shy, post your (constructive) comments, ideas, questions etc, I’ll get back to you ASAP. And please, there must be SOMONE out there with an answer, or lots of people with a little part of the answer, which seems more likely :p. Remember, Deny Ignorance!

I was wondering if you could tell me a little more about this shape shifting, I have never heard of it, well maybe on star trek. But, I never know that it really existed, is it like astral traveling or are you really chaning shape.

On the PESP thing I personally have never been able to see someones aura, so I was wondering do you see a color or what?

Me myself I can only get feeling on someones character(which many people can do), I also can look at a picture of a person and tell if they are living or departed. I can also feel if a person is very sick, like to say that they are going to be departed soon. When this does happen I do get the chills. I do not know if this helps any.

I've had the shivers, I had them back when I was listening to a tape by Art Bell on the phone call he recieved that an Area 51 employee would tell him the whole deal about Area 51 and what they were doing there.

I had the shivers for like 5 minutes, and meanwhile, I started to cry :/

So my theory is, you get the shivers whenever your taking an alternative route, deep into the heart of something you don't understand, you fear it, but knowing that you have to keep on going to understand it... And you experience an indescribable urge to do so.

Thanks for the positive replies, I was afraid for a while after I posted this that people would take me for a nut job but then again ATS and it's members never cease impressing me . .

I was wondering if you could tell me a little more about this shape shifting, I have never heard of it, well maybe on star trek. But, I never know that it really existed, is it like astral traveling or are you really changing shape.

Alas Cortora, after what I’ve seen and studied, I have come to the conclusion that physical transformation is physically and chemically impossible. The amount of energy, materials and genetic material needed make the possibilities of shape shifting very low or at least make the process very difficult. It's more of a spiritual transformation, and to some extent a physiological transformation. There are lots of experiences and events in an individual’s life that may cause him/her the will to change, to transform into something more "primitive". "Shifting" mentally or spiritually helps us overcome obstacles in our lives, it also reminds us and connects us to our ancestral animal origins, in other words it brings out the primitive instincts that have kept the human race alive up to this very day. It's interesting to draw a comparison between Tarot and what I call Spiritual Shifting, seeing as both are tools we use to tap into our subconscious and more primitive reaches of our mind, as well as to overcome obstacles. In due time I’ll make a more proper post about this, I just have lots of things in my life at the moment (Well not really but I am pretty lazy ).

On the PESP thing I personally have never been able to see someone’s aura, so I was wondering do you see a color or what? Me myself I can only get feeling on someone’s character (which many people can do), I also can look at a picture of a person and tell if they are living or departed. I can also feel if a person is very sick, like to say that they are going to be departed soon. When this does happen I do get the chills. I do not know if this helps any.

Hmm, how to explain the PESP thing... Well, we could say I "see" a person’s aura, but that would be exaggerating. I want you to concentrate on your chills. I get them from almost anything paranormal/transcendental, not to mention specifics types of music and of course, and like you, when I concentrate on my PESP. Sometimes PESP comes on its own; sometimes I have to "force" it to come out. I do this by first "creating" the chills. That’s right, I’ve learned to how to create these chills, and it's pretty easy if you ask me. They seem to be connected to the brain somehow as its very hard for me to create them without moving my head around a bit. Apart from that I just concentrate on the music that gives me the strongest "chills" and I play it in my head. The potency of the chill is not as strong as if I was listening to the specific music at the time, but it's still considerably strong. Then, I "convert" the chills to PESP. This brings me to the conclusion that the chills may actually be spiritual power, chi, karma, whatever you want to call it, concentrated and in raw form. Anyway, I convert the "chills", in this case to "see" a person’s aura, by "directing" the current of energy to my eyes. I'm sorry but I have no idea whatsoever on how I do this exactly, it's become a reflex for me, just like moving my arms or legs. Then, I feel the energy in my eyes, and that’s when I can faintly see a person’s aura. Auras are like a shimmering field of a specific color surrounding the individual, but no more than 1cm in height. I hope this helps, keep the questions coming and I promise I’ll get around to finishing this story .

Heard of how the shamans could/can bilocate their bodies? Its basicly teleporting with your consciousness. I've been told it feels like dying, and being sucked through a hole, and extremely dangerous if you haven't got a clear mind to see where you're going (you could end up half into a wallside).

If thats possible, then shape shifting should be as well imho.

Our bodies are merely Molecules, an well if we can move things withour minds, why cant we alter them? well i have heard of Yogis/monks Speeding up their atoms to make themselves Warm, this is also S.H.C. if not careful, really i dont see anything we cant do, i mean take away our bodies an we are energy (Souls) so in that sense i see us with endless possibility.

Originally posted by Tranceopticalinclined
really i dont see anything we cant do, i mean take away our bodies an we are energy (Souls) so in that sense i see us with endless possibility.

Really well put

interesting stuff.

I still wonder how dangerous
this could be without proper guidance .

you know , like a kid with a ouija board.
[ unlike some folks ,
I consider them danergous
and not to be taken lightly]

here's a link which you
may find interesting as well.

I'd say it was similar in ways
to what you are talking about
but also different.

www.trimondi.de...

there is a lot to read and absorb.

You seem to be describing the qualities of an Empath. It sounds as though you are reacting to others emotions and that you feel them on a physical level. I think this is not as much a paranormal thing as an explainable physical reaction to external stimulus.

Communication is much more than the words that come out of a person’s mouth or what you put down on a piece of paper. In addition to speech and language we communicate with body language and the subtle differences in the way we present our speech. Without even being aware of it our brains add the words spoken to all of the other elements that surround those words. Some are very sensitive to the little nuances that often tell you more about what the person is saying than the words that are used. I think this is true even if no words are spoken. Walk into a room filled with people where something bad has just happened and no one needs to tell you that something is wrong. You immediately know that there has been a tragic occurrence recently in that room.

Well, i've finally decided to continue my story where I left off, which if I remember correctly is me explaining my PESP thingy. Well, lets get to another topic, hmm, not sure what to pick, my alien obsession phase (Damn Signs movie, that film really affected me, couldnt sleep well for months ) or my Minor Clarovoidence Deja Vu thingy, lets start on the Minor Clarovoidence Deja Vu whatever thingy shall we. Well, I still dont understand this power or whatever you want to call it, but it's marked some very akward moments in my life I can tell you that. Let's call this one MC/DV for acronyms sake . Anyway, it consists in me getting visions of, well, something like an alternate outcome, it's seeing what could happen. Well, it happens especially when I go to sleep, sometimes, it's as if I dont fall asleep, it's as if life continues normaly starting from 7:00 of the next day. It's caused some very akward things, like me asking friends about things they never said or done. It isnt lucid dreaming though, as I remember only parts from the dream and the dream itself seems to advance in clips. The events that happen are totally mundane and normal, like eating, going to school, reading etc, but keep in mind i'm talking about a dream. Needless to say when I wakeup i'm in a pretty deep state of confusion, not knowing what is real and what is part of the dream, annoying. Well, thats the MC part of MC/DV, lets talk about the DV part now (Yes I love acronyms, wana fight about it ?) Well, it usually starts with me doing something normal like talking with my friends about stuff, and suddenly It's like I get sucked up in the past, and I remember this moment, because I actually saw this moment before. Sometimes, rarely, I get a type of visions, but I dont see the end of the world or anything paranormal in this visions, I see quite mundane things like taking a walk or chatting with somone. At first I dismissed this visions as me imagining things, which may have been true, the scary part is that this visions have always come true, be it the next day, or in 2 years. And when I get that Deja Vu feeling, as I said before, it's like I get sucked up in the past, or like seeing a movie in my head, I replay the vision I had, with a strange sensation all over my body, and then I get jolted back to reality, pretty confused and well, amazed and scared. So, if anyone shares this MC/DV thing, please post how I can learn to control it, or at least some info about it, cause it's going to cause me to go bloody insane one of these days .

Thats pretty much basic deja vu for the second part of your 'story' .