posted on Apr, 20 2006 @ 03:22 AM
Where does a discerning abductee turn for credible information?
At 37 I'm finally trying to sort out all of these "memories/dreams" whatever they are...
I firmly doubt that we are alone in the universe. Having said this, I would actually prefer to be insane as opposed to having actually experienced an
Sadly, I'm not insane. My mental faculties are quite stable and functioning.
So many questions and so few answers...it breeds much confusion and leaves a great deal to speculation.
Shadow Governments? oh please.
Time Travel/Warps/Shifts??? Possible perhaps, but as a severely Maths challenged Gal I'd not know a plausible formula from a simple algebratic
Lizard Aliens??? Sharp pointy teeth?
Now let me see where I left my big rubber mallet...
I am skeptical of all, yet...I suffered something. Not just once, but several times - over a great span of my damn life.
I first saw a "thingy" in the sky at age 6 or so. Easter night actually around 1975 or 76. Alberta Canada. No info on sightings can be found for
that time period in my locale.
The "thingy" moved in the sky and as a kid I was amazed - no fear, no wonder even of "what" it was - just a sense of peace and calm.
Missing time afterward...let's just say I don't remember seeing any Big Rabbit carrying chocolate for me.
More troubles as I grew up. Actually an entire year of existing in a vacuum. No memories save for a few random normal items of youth...no people,
faces, places or events. An entire year of nothing. Drifting. Night terrors, absolute fear of being left alone at night. Insomnia. Sleeping under my
bed rather than on it, rashes and bruises...nose bleeds and...still not a memory of even my mother's face...no school, no friends...I was there but I
Prior to that year I recall everything that one could consider normal memories of childhood. Then nothing.
Afterward, life resumes and I am a happy kid again. A trip to Alaska, a new home to come back to...
Then, odd dreams. Doors - always doors. Kaleidoscope lights, paralysis, blackness, more bruises, holes in my navel...
Memories of a room filled with kids and large benches like pews. Stark and white yet, no fear. As if it's all normal and good.
Into my adult years it became worse. Particularly when I became sexually active. Numerous night terrors of being paralysed, flashes of pain, jumbled
images of places I have NEVER been but in later years would see in photographs and instantly recognize.
Suddenly becoming empathic...to the point where an injury or emotional suffering could be seen on another person. To feel pain that wasn't my own and
have no idea why or to what end or means I was experiencing it.
Now - 37 - reflecting on these instances and many others that come to mind, I look around.
I am surrounded by clocks - 6 to be exact in a small one bedroom apartment.
I am surrounded by cats - 4 to be exact and they somehow make me feel safer.
Limited sexual activity. I rarely leave my house, because people carry so much pain that to me they appear almost disfigured.
I have a daughter of 17, who's conception date was off by quite a bit and who was a near loss which coincided with an odd miscarriage in the same
week (in the 5th week of pregnancy which for my daughter would have been her second week if my Specialist knew what they were doing?). At the time of
the miscarriage I was told I was no longer pregnant but alas 2 weeks later after miscarrying I was told I was approx 4weeks along and was confirmed by
So...this other baby ?? My daughter??? She seems normal though I have to laugh...she does resemble the alien portrayed in the Alien Autopsy altough
her head is not that big. She was premature as well and weighed 1 LB 6 oz - her gestation could not be pinpointed either and she ws clocked at
between 25 and 29 weeks.
Same blood type as the father and no anomolies or abnormalities.
So anyway, many odd things and my skeptic's mind would rather claim insanity.
After my daughter was born...I missed a lot of time. I'd wake with my t-shirt on backwards or inside out and once awoke to find my bed devoid of
sheets - the sheets were knotted and jumbled on the floor.
So what do I do? I don't drink, no drugs, no little voices in my head, never seen Jesus at the Bus Stop and do not perport to receive devine
I don't see ghosts or dead folks, I do see injury in the form of aura and feel other's troubles before they speak 'em. No heavy phsychic ability
or channelling ability and as far as I know I'm fairly boring.
I don't know what information to trust or whom to trust.
I've never spoken of any of this EVER so pardon me for gushing a bit...I've been reading alot and most of it sounds like crap. I did send a short
email to another org and they replied that I should focus on what makes me happy in life...thank you...asshole...I've been trying to do just that
however this "abduction" thing and all the crap that comes with it is BEGGING to be addressed before I can be content in anything.
The more I dig the more I develope a real irritation with some people's whacked out realities - but hey...mine's not exactly Puritan is it?
Skeptic and hypocrite all in the same. I discredit myself LOL, who needs shadow governments when "abductees" will bash themselves?
Someone point me to reliable (HA!) information please. No shadow gov. plots or little green men or MIBs...is it out there?
MOD EDIT: Changed title to something more appropiate
[edit on 20-4-2006 by AgentSmith]