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New Game: In Wal-City.....

page: 1

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posted on Apr, 12 2006 @ 09:53 AM
Okay, for about the last month or so, me and some of my co-workers have been laughing our butts off of this, so I thought that I would spread the fun here!

I'm sure some of you have heard that Wal-Mart is trying to become a bank (or is trying to acquire a bank, but it doesn't make much difference). Eventually you are going to be able to do just about anything in Wal-Mart...except live there!

Wal-Mart executives will then go, "Hmm, we need to cut costs more, how about we build a Wal-City, and have people move in and pay them nothing! We could house them in sub-standard housing (cause we will become our own nation), and feed them a rationed meal from the food store."

So, now that I have set things up. The point of this game is to make up funny things that would happen in Wal-City. Here's some examples:

In Wal-City, there will only be one crime (which covers a lot of other crimes, like murder, theft, vandalism, etc), shoplifting. This crime will be unexcusable and there will be only one penalty, death by blender.

In Wal-City, you will never have to wonder when you will die. All employees are required to be "recycled" (Ie. blendered, and recycled for food) that live to be 70. Now when you hit 65, you become a Greeter, and are therefore an elder of Wal-City, but between 65 and 70, if you become ill, *bam* you disappear....

In Wal-City, Schooling will consist only of the basics needed for operating a Wal-Mart store. There will be money handling, friendliness, stock memorazation, and the proper process for cleaning up an aisle. College will be replaced by Manager training school, and the best job you can have there is a meaningless position called Store Manager. This job is meaningless because all the jobs below cover everything, and the people in Bentonville, AR (where Wal-Mart's HQ is) don't want anymore people to pay out to, so you pretty much sit on your butt all day.

To Wal-City, there is only one enemy, okay...maybe two. The United Nations, and Human Rights activists.....although activists have a way of disappearing when they step on Wal-City.

In Wal-City, there will be no drug problems, because the druglords can't make money off of people that don't have any.

In Wal-City, there will be aerosal caffiene, scented of course, that will help extend working hours, lowering prices even further.

Wal-City will run on a Metric week/time system. No more weekends. You get one vacation day a year, and that is to be spent at the Wal-City resort.

In Wal-City, Christmas will be all year, since it is the most profitable time of the year.

You get the idea. Okay, now to lay down some rules for a game:

Your mission if you choose to accept it:

Wal-City is about to become a new soverign nation with a command type economy. It is centered in Kansas, and has been spreading its control throughout the US. Despite attempts to destroy it or limit it through useless things called "anti-trust" laws, Wal-City continues to grow at an alarming rate. Right now we have no more information on the society of Wal-City than what I just gave you. Your mission is to infiltrate, and find out more information, on the society, so we can try find something to defeat this menace to our society, and before it attemps to get Nuclear weapons.

New items that you find must be transmitted and have the words "In Wal-City" at the beginning, this will be the secret passcode for our agents to pay attention to the propoganda that is coming out.

Good luck!

PS--If they find you out....well....not much we can do there, now can we?

Okay, now that the game has started, here's one I just made up.

In Wal-City, pets will be considered a waste of time, money, and food. All the people in Wal-City will have virtual pets which will give them the same calming effect as a real pet, but at a much lower overhead.

Although Pets are still in Aisle 8, to be sold to the Americans that come to shop at Wal-City.

[edit on 4/12/2006 by Sir Solomon]

[edit on 4/12/2006 by Sir Solomon]


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